Glennon Doyle: Untame Yourself


My one thing right and my one thing is like trying as much as I can to stay in integrity so since that's my one thing. It didn't matter what everybody else was saying to me. How was it to actually live that now? Hearing you and seeing beautiful family and everything I don't want to say you know worked out but looks like you guys have fallen into this beautiful family together going back to that. How was it to actually make that decision decision to fall in love with via the decision to go public and just let the crowd falls? I mean for me. The thing that was most hard about that decision had nothing to do with public opinion or the book or whatever it was about my children. It was about my family as you. Well know it's like there's the world which lake will do whatever it will do but then really your world is the people that you can touch around you so those were the people that I was most worried about and I think that the reason I was worried is because I was just tamed. Into believing that mother is a murder right so I believe that a good mother does not break her child's heart. Good mother does not break up her family. So I might know in the depth of my bones that I am in love with this woman that I meant to be with her and this is like myself saying yes please but I can't do that because it would screw my people and then one day I was breeding my daughter's hair and I just had this thought which was. Oh my God I am staying in this marriage for her but what I want this marriage for her and if I would not want this marriage for her then why am I modeling. Bad love for her and calling that good mothering. Which made me realize how deeply I had been tamed right. The cultural messages to women are always no matter. What venue hear them from? Get as small as you can until you disappear. The way they do that to mothers is to say the ideal mother is a martyr the ideal mother is someone who just buries her dreams. Her ambition her feelings desires and calls that love and it took me looking at my daughter and knowing that she's looking to me to see. How does a woman live to figure out? No no no. The Taming of motherhood is saying no a mother is not a murder. A mother is a model. Children will only do will only allow themselves to live as fully as their parents did. So the call of motherhood the call of parenting is to refuse to settle for any conversation relationship room institution. That is less beautiful than the one we would want for our babies and what I figured out was this. Little girl does not need need me to save her. What this little girl needs to do is watch her mother. Save herself for me. It was one at a time figuring out that the one of the lies that women have been sold is that we cannot trust ourselves. We cannot go for what we want because it will be bad for our people that what we need and what are people need are mutually exclusive. Right that's why you always hear. Oh I would do that. I would go back to school but I can't because my kids I would do this but I can't because my kids and that's a lie that's utter Horse Shit like what is true and beautiful for us is always eventually what is true for our people right and there is no such thing as one way liberation. When you for yourself you automatically free everyone around you because freedom is contagious. So at the time you've built up an audience that was predominantly Christian women. What did you think the reaction was going to be? And then what was it in actuality? I had always been like for the decade before that I had been an outspoken completely like flaming supporter of the Algae. Btcu community like. I've been more gay. Pride parades that abby has and she's like the gasquet that ever gate I was intentionally creating a culture that celebrated inclusivity and differences and sexualities of all kinds. If you're still a part of my community that you understood that this announcement was less of a departure from our values and more like a manifestation of our values right and that's one of the beautiful things about living in integrity. Is that if you're always saying the thing that you believe on the inside you're always losing the right people so everybody that was there. They were because they had a they weren't all like minded but they were like hearted right. They were people that I would expect to say. Yes you have shown up you have shown us your untamed and whether we understand or not you are both held and free here

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