Practicing Non-Judgement


Last week what we started with was the definition of mindfulness which I teach as to be present without judgment and with compassion and then we spent the day talking about what it means to actually be present. How do we get present? How do we stay present? And why does it matter and so today is the day that is dedicated to the teaching of non judgment. And I think perhaps it's the most misunderstood of the three pieces of a mindfulness practice and I feel like tonight so really wonderful or from to talk about it in its depth Although it is so deep the we'll do our best. So non judgement is I think most most often believed to be the sort of pseudo spiritual Zen Master on the mountain top and I sort of walk around with a it is what it is attitude right like. Oh nothing fazes me. 'cause I meditate. I'm so spiritual la La la it's all by Karma right and this this is not what non judgment means at all period area that is an incorrect fallacy. Wrong statement. Okay this is not non judgement. So what non judgement is. Teaching us. Is that in fact. Every single moment has an emotional tone to it so every single moment in our brain is being processed as ooh good. Keep heap this one or a bad run or it's neutral and we're like on facebook right so if it's a neutral moment we're just totally checked checked out anyway but if we're present and it has an emotional tone it's either yes hold onto this. Don't let it change or this is terrible a half to to get out of this moment and both of those scenarios create this entire realm of magical thinking that usually begins the sentence since with I should or it should as in this moment should be different in some way and the truth of the moment is it cannot be different it is just this moment it is here. It's already here. There's no possible way it can be different. It's this moment and so the teaching the first step of this idea of non judgment is to acknowledge that this is indeed the moment an equally to acknowledge how you feel about the moment. So it's not to say that non judgment means no feeling but it's asking us to get very clear about what we're feeling in the moment because so often we go along without any sense of checking in any sense of like am I am. I tried really hard to keep this. Because it's so good or my trying really hard to run away or check out in some way because it's so bad. Am I imagining that. I could make different. That I'll be happy win Blah Blah Blah or. This'll get better. Win Blah Blah Blah Blah and the invitation of non judgment is to. I say it is this right now. Not It is what it is it is this. That's a hugely different statement. Right can you hear that difference. Not It is what it is which is sort of saying I throw up my hands and it is whatever I'll just let it be versus saying with conviction even it is this acknowledging it because it gives you the full freedom to then say and I feel great about it or I felt terrible right now. This this is a moment of suffering for me. In either instance. It frees us up to be truthful about what's happening in the moment and then this is the piece I think that's most important about non judgement and then we relinquish the judgment. We layer on ourselves for how we actually actually feel because the subconscious mind is sort of doing a dance. That's like I hate this moment because I think I deserve deserve a better job position and when I get the raise and more money and better office and I have everybody's respect in the office then I'm going to be happy and a piece of your brain is going you know. That's frog you meditate. That's so silly. Why do you still have these feelings? You shouldn't feel this way and there's like a little bit ashamed building up around this wish that you have for yourself and so in classical teaching what that's called is the double Arrow right so aero number one is I wish this moment was different and that hurts. It's when you wish a moment was different hurts. It creates suffering an Arrow number two is I wish I felt differently about the way that I feel and that hurts even more more. So it's like a double layer of suffering that we're creating for ourselves. We can't always do something about what's happening in the moment right. It's not that easy that sometimes we can just say. Oh I have this new awareness and now I'm going to change this. We can't always do it that quickly away. But one of the pieces that we have tremendous control over is the way that we talk to ourselves right so we can start to shift by just by. Catchy Oh really coming down on myself because I feel jealous of my friend who got this great opportunity. I didn't get or because annoyed at my partner. Because Blah Blah Blah right. We can catch the way. We're treating Freidan ourselves about that feeling so it's not like I gotta stop the feeling it's more so can I stop beating myself up over the feeling okay. So this is the major teaching about non judgement but the piece that gets overlooked. Yeah I think the piece that gets overlooked sometimes is how do we take teachings like this teachings around non judgment and acceptance and non possessiveness passiveness and then place them in the context of our world today and place them into the context of social activism and restorative justice. And the way that we want to move through the world which is certainly not to sit on a mountaintop and be like. Oh it is what is right. So how do we take these teachings and then use them and the beautiful thing. Is that nothing in these teachings. Say sit down and don't do anything nothing in fact the teachings very very much invite us to stand up and take a stand to use our voice for is ineffective change the way none judgment comes into play is is that it asks us to be very clear about where our action comes from. So you can imagine if you're getting stuck with that double Arrow we just referenced. This moment hurts and I'm angry because I'm reacting this way about it. I'm double suffering and then the knee jerk reaction when I double suffer is what explosive anger Fly off the handle about something accuse somebody of something without having a conversation I I mean there's a million ways that we can react when we're stuck in that moment of suffering and none of its wise none of it invites growth or change or Betterment but if we can pause long enough to connect I and release some of what word telling ourselves in terms of judgment and then step forward with a really strong clear voice. That's how we at least at least begin to take a

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