Babylon, Candice Owens, Antifa discussed on The Babylon Bee

The Babylon Bee


Probably been on a lot got to be really bad ones interviews story. He actually haven't done interviews in a while because now I do the interviewing true so now it is though when you become interview right suddenly like hog gotta think of stuff to say yeah yeah. I definitely the thing that I had to adjust to was shot for me. I I think I have to just to talking. That's the thing when you when you're being interviewed you you have the things that you always talk about and you know they're gonna ask about those things and you're ready with answers yeah and then suddenly when you're asking questions yeah. It's different so if you were me interviewing new questions. Would you ask you. Oh I would ask me ever get a marriage is because I've got married jerks. We are huge in mentioned that basically working so since you are white supremacist married away man in Charlottesville Virginia by the way what Tiki torches everywhere this interview was over man and so how's that going for you in three weeks of marriage into the bass astor recommended. I'm now giving marriage vice versa. He didn't have an answer. She's never been asked this question. How can we make a headline for this candace Owen speechless? She's got new to answer. Crush zones destroyed owns immediately regrets offering marriage advice to the Bab lights always shut cutter down the Babylon be shut down. Do you know how many clicks that would get read on it. So when I got married I found like I used to come home and just bring myself pickup Carl's junior my wife divorce me on the spot so I would do this before I was married before but then I but then I kept doing or or and I would just show up with this so young. When you got married I was twenty and I I would show with food just for myself and I'd be eating it would be like to steer steering like what are you GonNa ask me? If I wanted any food you know and I'm like Oh that's right. There's another person here now like it took me a while to juniors a little little overrated yeah. I don't know if people do people like getting better. It's like Hardee's everywhere else right entireties. I don't know the price it's worth six dollars six dollar burger and four dollars yeah but it tastes like extra two dollars supposed to be really premium as six dollar Burger. Why don't they say like a six thousand dollar burgers? They can make any number was just an example sample. You know I think all kinds of in my defense ethan. What's your best marriage vice nicer man I wasn't ready? I'm speechless to you should uh give out to foot rubs. No actually I never even backrooms. Backer says an excellent point. I typically never go to bed. Angry angles live down everything. She says. Repeat it back to her laughing back Dr that'd get annoying doing though if you repeat it back everything he says back. That's like a way to acknowledge that there you know that you've heard them like the other day we're supposed to bring my kids shoes and she told me that I got the shoes and then so what I heard was she's bringing the shoe but released you meant she put the shoes on the mantle for me to get it and we got into the car. Neither of US had gotten shoes and you're driving off with a barefoot child and so she's like k every time we have to like repeat back to each other what the other ones said so so just be clear with each other. It's all communication. We're trying to help you right now. I thank you for calling in one one hundred percent. I repeat everything. My husband says back to him out. That won't be annoying so anyway so we think you should change your name to canceled. Cohen cancelled owens. You've probably heard like candice owns like asked aloom. I'm sure that jokes dun-rite yet and then there's the the mean take on what it it quarterly Salem owned the missile. I wish they were funny. I actually appreciate when people are clever are and funny and say rude to me. I'm like good humor something. That's actually really funny good one. They're not funny. I'm just going. That's actually just not funny. It's not a good this even if if I agree with somebody and they do a distance like oh come on you know which one I don't like is the Alexandria Cossio Cortez and they say a occasionally CORETEC seasonal cortex context. That's pretty pretty weak yeah. That's that's like. She doesn't think very much so it's occasional occasional cortex. I get it it. It's pretty weak though yeah this week are these hourly funny with like weird with eyebrows or something the country what he's talking about when I see characters versus a giant teeth Brunson teeth. I don't know so anyway when you got something. You really sounded like you had something like I said anyway and I hope you would jump in so imagine a world where you did not become conservative icon Candice Owens. Where would you be doing right now with your life? Oh I probably would still be working finance private equity yeah yeah I think for sure I got really in that really obsessed with politics and here I am. It's weird to me to think about that that your life can just completely change and Dan Jason the never thought you'd be doing. I had no interest in politics. Turn Up. I didn't need your political science. I mean just nothing and here I am. I actually say though I I think I do politics because a heat politics actually third to me like a calling here and I'm like well that just makes me angry great so I'm showing up very political convention and then it's Weird Congress the really they're actors. Have you ever heard people that weren't good enough to make it in Hollywood. How politicians is a and just seeing the amount of theater or the acting that goes on in there contending to cry and it's just weird spartacus I ab- sparring us it's gotta be Bizarre Alternate Reality Reality and live in that all day every day that was the craziest thing was the Taverna hearings when all those it we're basically all giving their campaign speeches and and they were just like these written new volumes Parkas and they're supposed to be questioning Dr Ford or whatever and they're like totally ignoring the whole country is watching watching it was just narcissism on top of narcissism on top of narcissism like it was it was a really bizarre that was that was really weird? The capital hearings that a poor man that was one of those moments or music. It's like as bad as they say it is bussing down people chasing people down elevators Alyssum Milano sitting behind him like who are sitting there randomly it's like what is she doing lost or order so here we're seeing Rickard. Surveys show that show extras where he plays an extra but he's always trying to like get his shot. That's what this is about me yeah but I agree. It's like to me I do politics because I want politics to stop right annoying my life yeah. I just want to go back to being normal didn't mess with my life so much I wouldn't care about it. I want people to be able to say I disagree with him. Not He's a racist rapist list yeah back in place of I disagree with you yeah that would be great yeah and that's what creates so much absurdity for us to make jokes because people always go to these extremes that are just so ridiculous this. It's like the layup for the perfect joke yeah. They're doing most of the workforce I I know. Your jobs are either really easier really hard because we can't we have to exaggerate which is hard to do know all the already the exaggerated. I couldn't get more executive at the same time. It's Kooky enough that there's a lot of stuff to to make fun of so well facebook book listed you as an agent of heat and secret. That's exactly what we were saying. We were joking around. We're like how do you become an agent. I can't tell you what's the agent of starring Candice Zillions with Mike Pence is like the man in the answer the secret document us once the deal. Is that like a real thing like had some spreadsheet floating around that said Yeah in Nick Nick. I guess they they had me on the list of maybe investigate agent of heat Mubin got Alzheimer's but possibly an agent of hate baby unit. Yes so yeah I mean I had no idea that I had that status. We'll have a picture of you lose. It sounds incredibly warrant you. You know that's nuts skin. That's so wild bonkers man. Did you like yeah all right well. We're awesome at this so this has exit going. It's going uh-huh and it's on my list. It's on your list of questions. That was a good transition must be going pretty well because the left wants me dead so that's always a good marker of how how how hard they try to assassinate your character. Have you ever had any like leftists Ninjas Jim out of the shadows you or anything Oh yeah you actually had run INS with anti-theft -solutely the everyone has story yeah. You haven't seen this vegan coconut milk shakes no eggs which really doesn't make their incredibly skinny any in pay status kind of weird. That's a Myron to be an antique up. They housing remember like in the nineties trolls with the bright hair. No real like the Yes yes super bright hair. We're told me in the troy little naked decontrol a little gem in his belly button and that's basically ANTIFA except they're cuter Than Shwe's trolls were so gross bellies were cute. If ANTIFA was only kid they wouldn't look like those trolls guessing go in voluntarily Alabama chief naked disgusting for that was PG program. We appreciate it but the the but it's just there but trolls the ANTIFA Ninjas can get her. She's an agent of hey ready with a backhand jumping. Pattern cheap like raises her fist. There's definitely some creative person listening to this podcast should turn that into a thing like a cartoon creative. People can draw it was the wrong side of the pen. So you got eggs Mantica yeah they the thought of a cafe who's reading breakfast on Villanova Yeah Yeah and then they show up wherever I speak they're always outside protesting and see what makes there's the other kind of like the like you usually hear about the Westboro baptists announce Antifa uh-huh yeah. They're the new Westboro they should get together. I don't know what spur the associated with yeah we'll be there could cancel each other out we just get them all together and we tricked into meeting in an alleyway punching each other ridiculous thing is they're allowed to cover their faces. I think that is just it is weird. It's weird to me that they think they're so brave and it's like you're so brave. Yeah you're definitely paid. Why's your face covered up this older how strange who pays him Antifa Fund and Anti Fund Anti Fund good do they have an anti named Antifa that was good far uh-huh jokes like ten of the jokes you come up with are not going to be using than one is used but when you do them live than bad ones come out and they're all being used you you guys strategize? This is how we I'm in Babylon. Strategy is a sitting in an office pretty much be spending. We have other writers throw in Atlanta ideas but like around the clock we basically just tell like one hundred jokes yeah and like two or three of them get published. That's that's bad. That's basically it. I mean that's everything right is like we worked so hard on stuff and you find what's good rises to the top so I don't know I don't know if that's similar to yeah you prepare for. You got to prepare for stuff to owns later today. Kaga three lips to later today better prepare when you gotta get you ready for it. I'm just living my best lay. What's what are the property? Tax is like on libs the maintenance tips for owning lives and that's one of the so anyway. Let's wrap things up interesting. Are you Do you have anything you would like to promote to our Oh yes of course my book blackout on Sales On sale for Fourth Twenty Twenty Amazon you.

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