Paldon, Paul, Durham discussed on Reality Steve Podcast


Since the first month of our relationship and so it wasn't like it was ever going to be a surprise that he wanted me to marry him and so having the ring be a prize. Really just meant that. I was probably going to ring that. I didn't like as much as i could in control that express element is That he has to do epic proposal. So we'll see what he comes up with. What the last thing. I wanted to address with something you had said in your answer. Which was you know. You have a lot of schooling left to do a lot of things and move to state and move to different states and stuff like that and he didn't think it'd be done till thirty six. So does that get set-back if you throw a kid in there and by age i don't know thirty one thirty two to thirty six get set back to thirty eight or are you able to pull both on it night. A product semester. Off for essentially on paid maternity. Leave but then. I would want to continue. I'm trying to front load my coursework right now. So i'm doing. I'm going to get my t as out of the way Like some of the major milestones done that easily with dissertation. Which i will probably have to be doing with a baby on my lap. Which isn't the best. But you know the other hand is like. There's no good time to have a kid. I mean it's it's hard for any working woman isn't in many ways. I'm i'm more fortunate than others. Because the phd's at least flexible on timing. I mean on a podcast with you now. Two pm on tuesday so All of that's great. Paul's job is very flexible. So he's going to get to be very active father but yeah. I mean it certainly takes. It certainly makes sacrifices. Like i'm probably going to have to look for internships at durham. It might be a post doc. Durham or if we live somewhere else i could get the job somewhere else so i might not be able to go for the best and and i think this is what women need to realize. Is we spend all this time talking about the wage gap focusing on policies around this but there was just a very basic reality. which is that A woman has to have like like paul's almost forty. So paul is going to get very close to tenure and he's already he's already surpassed number of pubs. He needs and everything to get tenure he can wait until then to have a kid and then his yes. Total job security. he's got a great salary and he has got more free time versus. I don't have an option. I have to do this in my thirties. And that comes right smack dab in the middle of my phd and it means that yeah. I am not necessarily going to be able to go for the best post doc. A post doc is kind of like if you know like residency is for doctors. Post doc. it's kind of like that for academics Not not socks. And that is a sacrifice that i have to make and i don't know what really what way around that and i think that's something that went face and when it comes to academia like what gets people published as sorry what gets people promoted or hired is the day publish and if a man can spend at that entire decade just publishing publishing publishing and a woman has to send that decade taking care of kids and taking maternity. Leave then of course. Of course the woman isn't going to be competitive with men and of course she's not going to get the same promotions. This salary is determined. By how many publications you come in with right. Because you're getting a salary based off of how valuable you are and how much catch you are and again like paldon advocate in his thirties. And every woman that he's competing with might have and so. If you freeze your eggs that gives you more time. Yeah i mean that's a hell. I mean a lot to take on. It's a hell a story. I really i mean. I saw it on your instagram stories for people that didn't see it Glad they got to revisit it. And i'm glad that you were able to tell that story. And obviously it's a lot on your plate and you're going through a lot but i appreciate you sharing this with us and sharing your other thoughts I i wish you guys the best of luck in in all of this Obviously you know i i. It sounds like you want them sooner rather than later now. And obviously were your fans the people that watched you on the show and their fans of you. Do you still get stuff from people about your show appearance. Or no get let. Let's i don't know people still talking to you about the show coming to you about the show or is it more about commenting on what you're posting now more so coming in posting but yeah i still get some. I don't get you know what. I don't get any more negative comments really nice. Well because there's a. I mean. I guess there should be because there's nothing negative to put out there about you right now. You're like you haven't done anything. You're not in the people's i right now. I mean look if reality seve came out with a negative story. Jacqueline trumbull you would. You would get negative feedback. But i don't have anything. Yeah i mean just like just people commenting on my appearance or you know how do she. I am something. I don't get that anymore. It's nice that's good. Obviously no one care. Yeah there's nothing bad to say personal life. We clean the no rent. But i think you know just a a no when you went to arizona with few of the battery girls. A couple of weeks ago was that california was two weeks ago. You went three. I don't know it was with caroline. Kendall becca natasha. Yeah here. That was when i started seeing stories about all this stuff. I'm like okay. And obviously you. And i talked privately about some of the things so again. I wish you all the best of luck you and paul and going forward with all this again also Thank you for the help. That you've given me The advice you've given me behind the scenes as well as been a huge help. You know. I love talking to you about stuff whether it's website related or women related. Know we've got that if you want to listen to jacqueline podcast. It's called.

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