Mama, Kris K. Kepler, Walker discussed on Does This Happen to You

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Hi. I'm Chris. Kepler, and welcome to does this happen to you. I'm an actor voice actor audiobook narrator and writer I love telling and sharing stories about the strange experiences, my friends and I have while doing mundane like grocery shopping. That's why this podcast features funny stories from fantastic writers about our daily anomalies, a micro audio book about life in befuddle men just for you. Our story this week is from BB, Nicholson who you'll find on medium DOT COM and here is. Why my mother has two phones and why it's driving me crazy. My mother lives with me. She is one hundred and one, and she is as attached to her telephone as a phone addicted teenager. Where's my phone? She asked every thirty minutes when she first moved in which led to a massive search that involve digging through the crevices of her recliner shaking out the blanket that covers your lap groping under her chair rippling through the overflowing contents of her Walker and delving into the pockets of pants, which is usually where we found it. It isn't a smartphone and she doesn't use the camera figure. She doesn't use any features for that matter. She has a flip phone. All she needs to do is flip it open to answer which is sufficient for the ten to fifteen calls. She gets every day he yes you heard me right she gets ten or fifteen calls a day. Sometimes she talks for several minutes laughing answering questions and ending the conversation with I. Love You too when she hangs up and I asked her who it was. She says I have no idea. She got a call the other day from a stranger who said, do you WANNA prayer today? She hung up on them My brother and sister called several times a day just to check up on her and their favorite topic of conversation is food. What did you have for lunch? That's sounds good. What's for dinner? I don't know what bb is cooking, but I guess I'll have to eat it whatever it is. Mama's phone is her lifeline to the outside world even when she doesn't know who's calling or even if they only talk about food. But two phones are one phone too many. By now you're probably wondering why she has to phones and this is where I need to confess. She used to have one phone and I accidentally washed it. I sent it through the washing machine when I put in an armload of clothes and the phone came out laundered and dead my brother and sister told me to immerse the phone in rice which I did but it didn't work phones don't often survive a trip through the washing machine. My mother is on my brother's family phone plan and when I told him, I washed it, he said he would get her another one in the meantime. She couldn't go phone homeless try taking the phone away from your teenager and you will know what I'm talking about. So I got her a track phone from Walmart called the relatives and friends who are responsible for her ten or fifteen calls a day and gave them the new number. Mama was happy again, five weeks later, my brothers new phone arrived I called family and friends again and told them to switch back to the old number. This sounds like a simple thing to do. But it isn't her relatives and friends are a decade or two younger than she is, which means they are in their eighties and nineties some of them don't here. Well, some of them don't process well and none of them understand why a woman who is one hundred and one has to phone numbers into months. But we finally got it straightened out. Everything was fine for a few weeks until something terrible happened. I washed her phone again. I had been checking her pockets carefully before every wash until I didn't. So after ruining her new phone I reactivated her track phone only this time around I ordered a phone pouch on a lanyard she tied the pouch to her Walker and her phone dangles in front of her all day. There is no chance I will wash a phone in a pouch on a lanyard tied to a walker. I had to call those same friends and relatives and tell them her number had changed again, which confused them but I finally got the message across and they began using her track phone number. Then my brother sent her another phone because she's on his family plan. Now. You've got to call everybody and tell them her number is changed again smirked my sister who was visiting when the new phone arrived. It's not going to happen. I can't deal with it I said, and that's why my mother has two phones. They both fit in phone pouch and she gets to decide which one to answer when somebody calls. It's a bit of a challenge. She already thinks she's getting a phone call whenever the phone rings on television. That was the phone on TV Mama. You didn't get a call I tell her from five to fifty times before she catches on and puts her phones back in the pouch. Sometimes, she answers the wrong phone, and by the time she gets to the other phone stopped ringing. Then I have to call back whoever it was because she can't see well enough to dial. But it's worth it if it keeps Mama happy I think there's even a proverb in the Bible about it. It's easier for a rich man to ride that camel through the eye of a needle directly into the Kingdom of Heaven then for some of us to give up our cell phone Vera Zarian. Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the story, let me know and share it with your friends. Follow me at Kris K. K. Aria on twitter or Kris K. Kepler on facebook or check out my website www dot Chris kepler dot com..

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