A highlight from 3408: Lick My Tears w/ Jordan Morris and Jesse Thorn

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Home lookin' the keith. And the girl. I'm keith malley. i'm just reading a story. A california woman says that her fortune went down the drain when she accidentally ran a winning twenty six million dollar lottery ticket through the washing machine. You know anytime you say. I have a story here. And i like our guests can see me cringe. I'm just like holding my breath. It's such a sad story. And i wanna make fun of it but i all i see is myself in this. I'm like that's me. I let it go down the drain. That's what i would do. You know. I gotta staple it to my forehead or it's gonna just disappear so thank you for the boost of energy keith. You always know how to cheer everybody up. Do you think you'd kill yourself. Because i think i might know because i'm still in the same place that i was yesterday and i wasn't killing myself yesterday. No yesterday. you had twenty six million dollars. Did i did i. Although the watching the doj thing it still makes me cry. Sometimes so i know feels like the government was going to take a third and then everyone was gonna only like me for my money and now i'm happy again because they have the woman on camera buying the ticket but she has to have the ticket in hand to get. What would you know after taxes and whatnot be nineteen point seven million dollars in california. Now the schools get it. I live in that school. Now fuck you find a crawlspace live there. I paid for that school. I never mind like are void voting system i would be very upset with our lotto system and that would be my new rage. That would be like trying to get people out for this whole thing like you see me on camera. I turned into a lawyer. It's yes maybe. I would be a little upset and of course you've sat scores. I would tell my lord like final fucking way you get ten million dollars right.

Coming up next