Pringles, Dave Ramsey, Stewart discussed on Vroom Vroom Veer with Jeff Smith
There's always going to be a challenge and I understand now more than ever. I'm not a freaking victim and that's I one of my guest pet peeves but I don't get take offense on Stewart or anything but one of my pet P. is when people ask me about being a survivor. I'm like I'm not a survivor. I just went through challenges like anybody goes through challenges right and mind were unique to me and I don't pain compare pain as pain. I always on the same way some people we all have different experiences with it but I am not a victim. I see now more than ever that everything that happened to me. The abuse the losing my voice ace it was never ever about me being an opera singer. I feel more now more than ever. I was always supposed to lose my voice. I was always supposed to you know be abused and know what it's slight to go through all of this trial of not feeling like I was enough and watching it manifest in my body and life crumbling around me so that I could come out on the other side and like that's my purpose and what's cool about it is like now that I have this purpose that is internally driven. I did not go out and look for it if shivered hit the fan and my whole business and everything or to just crumble tomorrow and just go away away. Nobody would be fine fucking deal right eight factly right because I don't identify. I'm not my work. I'm just like you know what I've had these gifts if I can it feels good. I have fun helping other women not suffer as long as I did. That's fun. That's awesome like yeah. Yes and I get amazing. Yes that's awesome right but if I if I can't do that anymore that doesn't mean I'm a failure just means okay. I'm not supposed to do that now. Weird yeah time for the next thing and I think that's what really happens. When a person starts to realize oh wait a second? I don't need to be a certain dress size to be lovable by the by a romantic partner. Oh wait a second second. I don't have to be an entrepreneur or something <hes> for there to be for me to be successful or have purpose or anything like that right is be suddenly the attachment to outcomes vanishes because and that's the big thing. I think that's a number one thing I work on with the GALS that I get. The gift of working with is I. My definition of self. Love is making ones mental. Emotional and physical wellbeing her top priority and when we really we can only do that on a daily basis you can on a moment to moment basis really it's like what do I need right now to feel good right emotionally and mentally oh. I need a NAP now. Oh I need water. Oh I need to stop calling myself ugly in the mirror. That doesn't feel I need to forgive myself for having a box of pringles totally cold singles girls right right like it's just food eat the food what we do in in my work this is one of my favorite things when over and starts beating yourself up because of something she on so bad the food so bad and I'm like Oh hell no we just are eating food on my next time you have pancakes or whatever it is that she's talking about. She feels bad about he's go. I love these pancakes or this case. I'd love these frugal. These breakers are so good and you just like go for it. You just eat the pringles bring all and you've loved the pringles and you'd be with the pringles taste to the damn pringles yeah I think where when we make when we add shame or guilt into anything there the lowest energy forms and when we add shame or guilt it makes us inhale the food without tasting it. It makes us not be present with it because it's shameful hiding right and it's like that with everything with money with all of it you know when we feel like we're not when we get that imposter imposter syndrome. It's like I'm not I shouldn't really be earning for this like I feel guilty. What if they find out I'm a fraud or whatever they find out like? I'm only a little bit better than they are. At this thing I learned like I did a Gig league in school districting in Inglewood Right <hes> and I was always curious about how we as kids learn shame guilt right and embarrassed right question yeah hi and I was they were having one of those things where the parents come and watch the kids do stuff right <hes> so I don't have a lot to do because all the teachers are busy with that and so I'm Kinda like floating around in updating this in pretending being like I'm working here and when I'm watching them get ready for this big singing pageant or whatever it is that they're doing right right and I think I was in like a first grade class with one of my favorite teachers who I kind of respect it and she's getting the class ready and she was teaching them how to be embarrassed and I was like right okay so she was basically lining them up and then she literally said the words now when we're in line and we're getting ready ready to be in front of your your parents all the parents now don't be scratching yourself and don't be fidgeting because that will be embarrassing and they're all okay right and but who would be embarrassed by that right not them. They don't even know what that means but she would. Why that's exactly what I was? That's where that comes from programming man it is scary. That's all it is at the same like the boys. Call me ugly. They'd say I needed ABROA- for my back like stuff and by the way back then I rode horses. I rode horses every day. I saw pictures of me. I looked like a ball on the front of a swimsuit through magazine and I was like Dang girl. Oh Man I was so trim hourglass figure while because the first time I girl with boobs totally they were projecting and saying you're fat exactly exactly and they they all liked me. I know that now we're getting Olshan but the kind of hair pulling kind of attention exactly but they were you know it was just stuff yeah totally but that was where I learned learn to be ashamed of my body because I I've been oblivious before that sure I just like body. What is music around sixth grade? You suddenly have the hormonal intelligence to know that there are there's another sex and they're looking at you. It's like oh well. I would like some a haircut that doesn't make me look like Mo from the and some cool close it totally and that's what I wanted like. I wanted a boyfriend. I always wanted to be loved and so I and that was always like I've always wanted to be an monogamous long-term relationship. That's just who I am like. I'm a one I I'm just happy when I'm in relationship relationship churn but I never had relationship <hes> because of all of those early I just I just I was in relationships with really awful people because what I thought I needed to be an do for Love was all all programmed based on my early experiences with it and <hes> and so it was just really struggled for the vast majority of my life and it wasn't until my breakthrough and also I've got some little brothers and <hes> <hes> there about twelve and fourteen years younger than me <hes> Eh for my dad's second marriage and when they became <hes> when they came of age I remember they them and they they in their friends. Friends were the smartest you know Valedictorians and at their school and you know athletes it was like all the boys at never paid attention to me when I was growing up right and they and all their friends were so loving into me and it just changed my world and that was when I realized I was like wow if a man can't treat me at least as well as my brothers and his friends. I can't date them like yeah. I didn't know that treated girls like this like this is good. You know right belt so loved like I could do no wrong. They're always wanted to know what I was working on like randomly. They're just so great. Member others are amazing and that really began to change my life because I had a new idea a newly frame holy so they were big contributors to that now that I'm talking about it. I'm like that's my fiance's twelve years younger than me probably deprogramming okay <music> therapy for that one music. Oh my gosh usually like the best thing ever. He and his family are amazing to you and you know what I love about that as they're all out picturing 's of what you and I both found. I don't like what happens when you're enough when you suddenly realize you're enough right or mean nothing on my external world had changed right. I Internal World Change <hes> and I had gone from running this really fine like entrepreneurial. Oh group like I had this big social club. I organized brunch for like forty five people every Sunday for free like all these entrepreneurs and there was like two hundred people in the club ray while it was really fine and one of the things I realized I had to do as I I had to quit hanging out with my friends because I got so distracted by what they were working on and I was still looking outside of myself for. I thought a business would make me happier feel purposeful right so I had to disconnect from my whole life so I started volunteering Alan tearing a couple of things started volunteering at this church but I'd started because I'd had at the time I still had thirty thousand dollars in debt from like college and stuff and I just carried on these credit cards for like so much of my life and <hes> I finally was damaged. I'm going to pay off this debt and so I started <hes> I found a Dave Ramsey's class and I and I did it at this church. I was like Oh you know I was in on the other side so I was like open to spirituality for the first time after after nearly committing suicide and so as like you know what I want to check out this church anyway so I'll do the Dave Ramsey class there it turned out the woman who was the Dave Ramsey coach at that church who brought it to that church was my now fiancee's mom to it was amazing casino. Your best friends and I helped her lose more than seventy pounds and keep it off for like three years and then her husband lost seventy pounds and like everybody in the family lost all this way collectively the family loss like two hundred pounds. It was amazing amazing leasing it was so amazing and <hes> shooting my very first clients when I started doing the food and body business and <hes> but all of this was very organic so it's for me it started with tackling whatever I felt like I could tackle and so I was like coming from this place of I'm enough to do whatever lights me up and so I didn't even tell any my business friends. I was so embarrassed but I was so like I'm gonNA solve this debt problem and so I had my consulting work. I did during the day from ten A._M.. To six P._M.. And I I got a job at my favorite Jim town. 'cause I love fitness and they opened really early so I woke up at four A._M.. And I got a ten dollar an hour job that I worked from five in the morning until ten A._M.. Nice and that I would I was like I don't care if it's ten dollars. I would just be sleeping but I am putting money. I'm going to do everything I can put money towards this debt. I'm going to get rid of this debt and so I did that and then I would work from ten A._M.. To six P._M.. On my consulting I would have like an hour for rest. I go to bed at eight o'clock..