Gabrielle, Bossie, Sir Ted discussed on Unladylike



To live. Okay that's intense reminder. That passage was written in eighteen. Ninety nine so i can only assume that by old age. She's talking about like She's probably thirty to thirty three great great but it immediately gave me the kinds of girl. Bossie you deserve this queen kind of vibes that we might see on an instagram caption from a manifesting. Influence sir ted day. Oh absolutely and like the packaging may have changed. But a lot of what self-designated life coaches energy guides and teachers lawrence. Yoga instructor are selling as manifestation. Today is essentially the same as what lady's like mary. Emma and helen were proselytizing. One hundred years ago and in some ways caroline. That totally makes sense. Like i have a hunch. That manifesting appeals to so many women these days because it promises that path to autonomy and success that society and patriarchy still largely affords to sis white men and psychological research has found that women are likelier to believe that we have less power over our own lives or that our life circumstances are more controlled by external rather than internal forces so like if our fates are the whim of the universe like. Why wouldn't we want a hardest that power for ourselves. We're gonna get deeper into the psychology of taking control and achieving our goals after a quick break stick around okay caroline when we left off. We'd learned that there is this entire history of women preaching the power of positive thinking to other women as a path to riches and success. But something that really jumped out to me. In the manifesting book i read and have noticed other manifesting. Influencers pushing is that the law of attraction isn't magical thinking it's science what yeah like. They toss around terms a lot like neuro plasticity and neuro linguistic programming to argue that manifesting is a scientifically backed way to rewire your brain into abundance mode which it doesn't take a scientist to know that is a huge logical leap to make. I think you're just an understatement. And listen that is also why we really wanted to talk to our next guest for an evidence based reality check. She's an actual scientist whose rigorously studied positive thinking and its role in achieving success. My name is governed again. And i am a professor of psychology at new york university and at the university of hamburg and germany and i am a passionate researcher in the field of psychology. When gabrielle. I came to the us in the eighties she was struck by just how pervasive and entrenched the cult of optimism was here the dedication to positive thinking was foreign tour. But you know it seemed like an asset like people valued being a good mood not focusing on their problems. So gabrielle began researching the effects of these positive fantasies versus negative outlooks when it comes to achieving our dreams like can positive thinking. Spur us to act. What is its power in positive fantasies about the future. You can explore the possibilities of the future. You can experience the possibilities in your mind. You can temporarily put yourself in a good mood and what is really important. You can find the direction of you. Doing six. gabrielle's decades of research on positive fantasizing and wish fulfilment became her book rethinking positive thinking it presents. A research backed way to work towards the same goals that manifesting tells us just to hope for and it's all based on a surprising twist that gabrielle studies uncovered war. We find is that. The more positively people fantasize in daydream about desired future. The less they put in the effort and the resources that are needed to actually implement the future and accordingly the less success. They eventually have. It seems almost counterintuitive but in study after study that gabrielle and her team conducted. They found that the more people dreamed about what they wanted in their life. The less they actually achieved those dreams. So for instance when gabrielle studied people who are looking for jobs. The ones who fantasize the most about their dream couriers ended up sending out the fewest applications and ultimately making less money or take relationships. Gabriel found that the more folks fixated on their crushes. The less likely they were to make a move and what we find. Is that the people whom we had induced to positively fantasize about to future that they've already accomplished they experienced the positive future in their mind felt it and by feeling accomplished they relaxed. So you can measure that by you. Know blood pressure goes down for self reported feelings of energy. Go down and the problem is that we need the energy and the effort to actually implemented these positive fantasies in real life. This is reminding me of a pattern that i've noticed with myself when it comes to positive fantasies dreaming big. If you will wear i i get that initial rush of energy. I get an idea. Let's say for a book that i want to write and i get excited about it but then once i realized the book has not been written in that i actually need to do. The work. anxiety quickly moves in. And i become very overwhelmed. Does that resonate kind of with what you've noticed in your research. And my maybe like spending too much time in that fantasizing space i mean it's pleasurable to fantasize and what we find. Is these positive fantasies about the future. They're linked to lower depressive.

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