Michael, Kindle, Four Nurses discussed on Mindfulness Mode
I just i was so so moved by that i mean this was a bully in to the nth degree. That's the hit. That was his persona. That's who he was. And because these four nurses had the courage to be vulnerable and to say this is my experience. When i'm around you. It changed at that doctors life. It changed his career and So i i just felt so profoundly grateful for what they had done Yeah bullying and it's a course that's an adult story child story but It's a tough one. What a powerful story. That is my gosh. That is incredible. So what was he like after that. Did you kind of follow what he was like in his relationships with the nurses and so on how did it change. It changed enormously not not one hundred percent perfect overnight. That's that's a fantasy but he really began working. We continue to work together. And i tried to help him out. Now that you're motivated now that you you know you agree. There's this problem. And i do wanna change. Okay now. we have a fertile field we can we can plant some seeds and he started practicing them and we would rehearse them and he would you know build up his mindful conversation skills Which he did and he became I remember i've i worked at the hospital about another six months or so and the chief of staff saying you know this guy has had a transformation verses are now saying i want to work with it because he he knows what he's doing. He's a good doctor. I wanna learn. I want to be there as opposed to. I've just one set foot in that room with him. It's just not not in my interest to do that. I i can't be there so there was a huge huge ship again. Not you know wasn't perfect from from the get go but we clearly made very very significant progress and i think it i is my interpretation but i think it saved career because even though he was very good technical physician surgeon he was about to be fired because if no nurses will work with him you can't work in the in the. Or i mean it's over. There's just no hope so it. It really shifted. Yeah yeah what a powerful story. I wanna ask you about some of the misconceptions about listening being a good listener. We know that's of communication. A huge part of it. What are some of the misconceptions. Some of the ideas at some of us have about being a good listener. That just simply are not true. All right well. Here's the first one. That comes to mind so i teach class on on my teach in the process right now of teaching all online and the very first class i was talking about michael conversation and A man in the class it will. This is all well and good for women but guys talk differently. Well this to me is a huge red flag and he said you know how would you. How would you adapt this two men. I wouldn't be adapted really. There's no difference there. This is about person to person. I don't care you know your gender slightest And so one nine for a misconception. Is that somehow. We can't be vulnerable with another man man to man on stuff we don't we don't do that. You know i gotta be tough. You know i. I'm not gonna let you into see what's really going no way. No i don't do that So there there's one huge misconception. I don't know whether you believe me or not. I'm hoping so we'll see But i think i mean that's a sad You know. I think a lot of boys you know we. We were raised kind of that way wheaton. That's where we learn talk. Copy our parents you know. Boys don't cry and the boys can't be sensitive that's not true. That's totally not true. And i think that that's that's one of the things that's gotten us into. A lot of trouble is closing off that side of of men. So that's that's a big one other misconceptions about listening Another one this is exactly a misconception. But i think it is Some people think that good listening is about being a counselor or a therapist not being framed. I think that's a really unfortunate misconception that you know the way to connect friend to friend is often through good listening. It's not exclusively about listening. The other half of the pie is speaking. And you get a chance. you know. it's it's you get a chance to speak as well. i'm not saying. Hey all you ought to do is listen that that would be a a bad message to give really unfortunate one. And that's part of the art is knowing wind. Listen to speak out to go back and forth how to do it. In a way that that helps you connect So on finding parody between speaking and listening. But i think The essence of listening is that is it is good speaking actually rests on the shoulders of good listening. Earns you the right then to be the speaker to tell your story what whatever it is But if you if that's all you can do and you never listen then. Nobody wants to talk to nobody. You know it's it's no fun. There's so much of that So those are a couple of misconceptions. I'd say about the list yet. Thank you for that. As i mentioned. I really enjoyed your book. I enjoyed how approachable. It was filled with diagrams. It's filled with humor. It's filled with go to what you need to do in order to make this happen. It's just really a great A great presentation and i read the draft version. That you had sent me win. does this come out. When do you expect this book will be published and available. Well i'm hoping by the end of two thousand and twenty one. i'm just now submitting it to publishers. So you know who knows how quickly that process goes. And then there's many steps get out once once you reach agreement with publisher so i would say on four. I wish i could say a month or a week but the up case so i'm hoping by the end of this year not the end of this year very early next year. And so in the meantime we could read king of doubt Who is the publisher of that book that that is out that's published by week mark And it's It's out it's available on amazon and other places in paperback or kindle or whatever are you like to read and some people told me change their lives And it's it's It's it's a serious book but it's also has a lot of humor in it and people tell me it's quite a page turner so if you're interested in if you suffered at all from imposter syndrome or self-doubt who hasn't been suddenly think most of us have it. I think the thing is sometimes we suffer from it but we don't identify that that's what's happening. We don't realize. Hey that's imposter syndrome. That's what's going on here because we honestly believe it. We honestly think wow. I'm not qualified to do this thing. I gotta get the hell outta here. Isn't that true that we honestly believe. Sometimes i think if if you didn't believe it and it wouldn't be a pro. No of course not so convinced that you can barely even see it. I mean that's i you know what it yet. It it it. It undermines you. You know no matter. What is your do it if you really are struggling with that and what. Your website is peter. Gib- dot oregon nets g. I. b. two bs on the end of gabe. Peter gabe dot. Org what would we do if we wanted to get. In one of these courses that you teach..