Alzheimer, Ronald Reagan, George discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Just as George towards doing my routine. I'm wondering if there are other emotions at play. Obviously obviously a Schmo like me can be like that sad now was it. Frustrating was scary. Just walk me through. It was terrifying. Because when Alzheimer's all I really knew is like Ronald Reagan. Had It makes old people loopy. Whatever hacky stand up jokes we've ever seen right and I was like when dad early onset onset Alzheimer's? You're kind of like. Oh Oh yeah. He's just going to be loopy for the rest of his life right. You don't know that you completely deteriorate right and so seeing that for the first time just confirmed I mean. It was all the fears that we were all in denial about because my mom was tonight too. She's like. Oh Yeah it's all when I was fine. We don't need to tell people at Church about it or in the community. You don't want them to think it's geared or anything else okay and so it was terrifying and I was angry because my mom had told me but I felt like she'd probably say Chris. You didn't know the diagnosis early onset. Alzheimer's but there was actually no clue other than he would call me repeat a story every once in a while or call me Laura. My sister's name but it was like light. You know it was just Kinda goofy. You could have been prepped. I could have been practiced. And that's what made you angry. Yeah and sounds house. Like what the hell. But then the crazy part is when we get to the house. My Dad goes. You're a good decent man. I appreciate the the rest of my life. The right yes or the right. That's what he said to me and so even though he didn't know who I was he was still so kind. Wow that's such a confusing. It's so sad but the new like he's still a good. He's the kindest person jail. Yeah and it it was just and then after that I was like I need to move home. Well so then I'm you know a couple months later. I moved here to Los Angeles. Slow with my girlfriend. WHO's now my wife and just started helping my dad and living at the house will just for a little while and then we? We moved out but like As soon as we move back it was like he can't be in the house anymore because he had you know he's too far along and it becomes dangerous like they get scared. You know we had to hide all the silverware silverware because he would get scared and try to protect himself and it was like a knife. I think the level of confusion. If you don't know who people are you're not always going to be like an easy. Well there's probably a cabdriver. You're like I'm in my house and there's someone I don't i. I can't fully relate. Obviously if I didn't know who somebody in my house was that's literally the stuff of American horror story there's just stranger newly terrifying. Yeah and so he would just lash out and it just became came too dangerous and then he he slipped any felony hurt himself and had to go to the ER and then we're like. I was like mom. He has to go going home. which was so tough? Because there's so much shame in that for my mom can in our commute in the Latino community is like what are people gonNA think. Think just gave up on your father that I don't care about them like all this shame I was like mom. Fuck that like dad is not sleeping. He's crawling rolling around on the ground like he's smcgaels or whatever you know and it was. He's yeah he was crawling and it was he had he gotten sundowners. is which is when you can't You don't know what time it is anymore. You don't sleep at night you just up and all hours and so we had to like trade shifts being awake twenty four hours a day to like watch him. This is not sustainable and so we had to find a place for him and luckily we learned a lot of money so a lot of the places this is just like so bad like there. We went to this nursing facility and I just remember this guy was like a young guy and he just had the whatever the not the owner but the guy who ran the place and the edit. His desk was just covered in half drank gatorade bottles bottles and the place looks like the walking dead and he looked me in my mom in the eye and was like it's five thousand dollars a month to like have your dad hear like five thousand dollars for this like shitty miserable you give us and then luckily found this place in Long Beach. That was like doc incredible and they had like a low income bed and they had promised not to my dad. Actually when another home for a second Eh freaked out and you're like punched nurse and they're like he can't be here. He's too violent but this other house was like. It's a violent disease. I can't believe any place ever kicked you out of. We promise you he could be here for the rest of his life and And it was so quick and val my wife and I. We're like driving around trying to find this place going to different places we get to this place and I don't have any paper like paperwork. Ready and Valhalla. aww Checkbook because we're also looking for an apartment and she paid the deposit and then we needed my dad's signature on this one thing and that was like. Oh Yeah Yeah we'll be back in. We'll go home. We'll be back in twenty minutes but my dad was in the hospital like we couldn't. We had to do this before that. The place closed beds going quick. If you can do this right right now the places yours we have a wait list or whatever and then vowel just like forges. My Dad's signature completely perfectly and I showed until my mom and mom's sounds like my mom sees it. She was like Valerie. That actually is good. But you can't trust lady I. I almost cried because this looks so good that you can trust dated lesson. She's like the watch your money give this woman. Power of attorney actually doesn't seem like he can do anything she wants but then he was there and he was there for like a couple years and there is something real. You must have appreciated these caregivers because of your experience in the caregiving community. You know what I'm saying like you knew here. He is punching nurse. And you're somebody who had been hit. Yeah by not a patient but somebody you were working with that was like this is fucking thematically. I'm not even trying to pitch the show. Isn't it wild that you're seeing this kind of come back hadn't even thought about that. That's what a non writing producer. These poor kids will glitch in their and my dad. got a glitch to write and Israel became very violent right but he didn't mean it even though obviously you rightfully where like this is too much for me. Yeah but but it gave you that understanding and compassion. I think the caregivers were so great. And they were just so special people because they also don't make a ton of money but some of them are like my. My mom had Alzheimer's and so now this is. This is how I deal with a everyone had some sort of back story Vow is so beautiful and they were just so tender hinder and these people knew my dad and our family. They became our family for like the last five years of his life and it was so. Wow very grateful not not to fish for something sweet. But we're there good moments with your dad even in the disease where they're peaceful times. I mean it sounds like there was a lot of erratic doc times. Did he ever settle into this. I don't know what I'm asking. No no I and what was it like the beautiful for like I went to visit him on on the morning of my wedding day because I want I was like my dad can't be he couldn't leave the home. You know us too far along and I visit my dad and I'm just like talking to him. He he's non vocal at this point and I'm just like bobby you would love her. I mean you've met her. I wish you could be here and all this stuff and I just like I am by the end. I'm just weeping and I just starts rubbing my back in like dancing back and forth and like he's like smiling and he couldn't really smile that much but he was like taking his mouth like opening his mouth and then trying to do it to me like we re if a baby gorilla and his dad at this moment where he's just like trying to dance and smile and I was like. Oh my God. He's like still in there even. I don't know if he knows who I am. I don't know what this is but this moment happens you're a decent man thing and it was the what you're saying. Oh and and it was it was I did it. And he gave it on your wedding on my wedding day and then you went and got married and I went and how the woman even not to be trusted him and not to be trusted but the other is always little moments like that. Where like my dad? Masculine old school guy. I would always carry my mom's purse like before he got Alzheimer's and from time to time you would pick it up and just start walking around with it and it was just like like how you can kinda tell how people were when they're young before they got the disease like it'll it'll bubble to the surface somehow with my dad was like what a guy whow beautiful. When did he pass? He passed in two thousand seventeen on super bowl Sunday. So it's like. Who is the half time they wanna know who got ruined for you on.