Tom Cruise Hanks, Tom Hanks, Cruz Cruz discussed on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

The cruise right Tom Cruise Hanks I said Hanks Cruz Cruz. Okay does that make sense posh wasp giving talking about Hank's a lot Tom Hanks's listening bump shit that's so awesome you imagine that dreams Dome he feel how did he know have my number I am but it's you know a couple of times now you have my number oh hey mom I go oh okay I I didn't know what was happening that's fine you'll he hasn't done that with anybody else and then ice and then he he asked for in by Selfie means these comes out and takes a photo with the crowd in the background golfing and the assistant runs out running out icy his case where the puppets are and where the puppet sit and and I go we're not doing this this jeff we're having some fun and I jump on top of the case and then I say get get behind me put your hand on my back let's go oh I thought that was going to be his idea and it was going to be terrible serono it's my idea it's a great story so he he goes Okay like he's very like I didn't WanNa do but like he he puts his hand on my back and he starts like we both have microphones and I start moving like a puppet and he does a couple of jokes I'm like and then we're improving back and forth and the the the audience just laughing and going like this is the craziest thing you've ever seen and then he stops puts his head down and goes oh my God this is the worst thing I've ever done and then I said in the microphone Jeff I saw your second special and he laughs Soho artsy audience right so hard comedy and then we just had this moment we and then we took the photo it's on my instagram somewhere at Brad Williams comic of that of of US onstage at the Montreal Comedy Festival with Him Woodfire manipulating me like I want to move I it's Jason I say names today who do I mean today Casse Jason Jason Voorhees who's interested Development Jason Bateman Yeah I don't think that's what means Yasha Ruben I told him I was doing that on stage but I was like I got that impression from watching you and bless his heart he was you can have a Jason Bateman off it's so speaking of the Montreal oh come festival speaking of puppets I have a question for you did you think I was the puppet there we were doing a roast poppet name Randy Randy Randy and they were like randy felt face randy felt face and randy felt face which is the Clinton little yeah he goes his identity secret and yes you WanNa see who I am yes and you walked out yes it was so great because he's behind this cardboard like shield yeah and it separated from the back so you know no one's walking out or no one's so you see Randy Randy felt face just go down below the cardboard yup and then I popped up above the cardboard and the place went nuts yeah 'cause they're like way and you and let's at each other I was I was like fully reacting to imagine check my face was shocked and then afterwards I realize a can we say this you're not randy velvets I mean yeah we so as much as people but that's why you're asking is how could you fall guy you anyway I'm randy felt like who's pretending to be Randy Michael J. also felt for it so don't feel bad and like so what that means is I was behind cardboard the entire show and no one like and I was just down there and it's also I'd like to think that was one of my considerations like no way was down there for an hour or twenty minutes yeah I for one gag which I was I was you are and I was there because I would be great and it was actually a randy's idea so it was rates I love it it was it was in to watch that whole thing how it is executed is unreal how he does it how he puppets back behind the curtain literally yeah and then then I popped up and I just saw you pay freaking out and little rock all came back stage and saw me after that he goes bread can you just because like Pete and Chafe think you're the puppet Kay how do you tell them you're out w what are you talking about hilarious I worked at Disneyland I got I got to keep the magic going to believe yes he was like Whoa I mean you're not the public radio well no I'm not the puppet almost yelled do voice does randy is also Australia yeah so I wasn't doing it to screw you it was more likely due the voice yeah I was like so there was a part of me that was a little reserve yeah well yeah the the same way of Seth Macfarlane walked out here you'd be like Peter Griffin ah get out it's a it's a really really high Australian exit but yeah now that was a lot of fun and I'm so glad that you were actually I did I'm glad you fooled do as a metaphor listen so you met your wife Yes on a three away app called render at at the time it was called surrender and now it's called field because tender sued them for Copyright Infringement I WANNA be a lawyer for tender that's right we have the data they got a season you cannot fight if you swipe right contractor. Yes so I'll tell you the full story the full story is that I was burnt the road I need you to start with how you started having three ways on an APP get their okay just just know that you're talking to a guy that's interesting I know can't start it was interesting to me and I was burnt out from standup I did three years in a row of forty eight weeks on the road and that's that that can burn you out so I was hearing that you're right like you just hear the schedule of people that one last comic standing well I guess I don't want to win it's pretty madness and someone offered me a job is a morning radio show host in San Francisco California and I said sure that sounds great yeah I don't have traveled onto the planes I didn't realize the nightmare of waking up before thirty am every day but So I took I took the job and I started doing this show with some amazing people Kevin Kline and Allie Johnson who are still on the radio but now down here in Los Angeles so we were we're doing this show Klein not the actor he's a radio DJ what's up everybody time in the movies and I wanNa tell you about traffic not the guy who my girl artists artists Gordon Wild Wild West not that guy wow I would have gone he's choice you went to his demon you went right to the back of his mind if you do passed on Nia to do that L. Y. You know why no song and the Matrix One zero zero more coming to town you can't do it where would so one of the Games we decided to play on the radio show because I didn't know anyone in San Francisco I I I moved there I had no friends is we decided played game called tinder or grinder where would flip a coin basement of land on would go on either attended or grinder date foot the coin side note the very first time we played it it landed on Grindr I did go on one grinder date bisexual I'm not just all demand I made a profile I matched the very lovely large red headed bearded man whose profile name and he told me to only call him ginger ginger beer ginger beer you may call me ginger ginger beer I went all right ginger beer meat gummy bear let's do this ship so and we have a very gummy bear your read that's a high compliment we had a very lovely date I explained the whole thing I said like hey this radio thing I'm straight and he goes care let's go have fun so we went and we are you tell them right up top yeah I I told him and we went to a sports bar we drank we watched sports he told me I was handsome it was literally one of the best days I've ever been it was it was pretty damn great shall do ginger beer so the next day I'm going to go on the radio and I'm GonNa talk about me date with Ginger someone calls in and goes you guys do in tender grinder have you heard about th- render and I go fuck is th- render and he goes oh that's tinder for threesomes well and I'm like I have imagine succeeding if you're signing up for three-under yeah you're down for two so I go on the APP and I go yeah sure we'll try this I go on the APP I match with a two a very lovely women 'cause you can go on is a single match with two other singles you want a single match with a couple you can go on as a couple and try to get a single so there's always different options and signing up now I have an idea well we need to do you remember what ED my birthday's coming up I just met a guy named ginger you're going to have a lot of fun so I matched with two women and we all agree to go on a date together and we meet this coffee shop down in North Beach and but one of the women does not show up just doesn't show it this is your first time using render yes I somebody bailed somebody bailed now it's just ten roads when I was just me and and this other woman and we're just going to meet and we're going to make sure that we are who we are from the photos yeah we're not being catfish or anything and then we're GONNA go the thing that we're we're we're GONNA go fuck okay like that that's we're going to go do incentives yes it is and and on so we go she's not showing up okay well do you want to just have this Dayton she's like yeah that's fine and as we're talking getting to know each other we're like Oh crap I like you I don't this is not I don't want to be preview Oh shit like you yet auto threesome research future day Mathews has had so many through as one time he was having a three way and he forgot the other person under the burden.

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