Tony Rights, Dave Chang, Netflix discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard
I think it was sixty days to travel for me. Oh my God. You're not just for that just like trying to assemble these. Massive topics into some cohesive. Fifty Minute Docu. Series thing was tough and We wanted to do something fun and also a little bit quicker. So that's why Netflix and Morgan novel. Who won an Oscar for twenty feet from stardom in the Mr Rogers? Doc My partner and ugly delicious was like let's just try to do like a one day shoot and it actually proved to be fucking harder than anyone thought to sure. Sure because I found out a lot of these actors are like they're not acting twenty twelve hours a day. They do your thing for an hour and then you go back to your trailer right. Oh Yeah five months effort twelve hours. I'm acting forty two minutes of that. Twelve hours sane lines in front of a camera. Yeah and they're eating and it's just a lot. It's a pretty taxing thing. I will say the easiest one for sure was the one with Rogan. Where we're just so. I was so high that helps. He would only do it if I smoke the joint every hour off but that was the second season. And we're working on this show with Hulu so I'm doing a bunch of shows for Hulu right now and we're filming with Chrissy Teigen a TV show that had to stop production because of this epidemic. So that was that was like a crazy thing. Yeah could you say which side of all this you liked the mouse or you like it all or you hate it all. I don't know I don't think when I do media. It feels like work. I mean it does but it's not working in kitchens that right to me. What work is and it's so fucking hard and managing the restaurants is so hard but somehow I always again i. I always like an to an addiction. Ninety nine percent of it. I think sucks in restaurants one percent. That's what you're chasing. After all the time it'll keep him back. Yes in in in the media and I don't feel the highs so much it just feels like a pretty steady thing and I like it because it's been able to like give me a bigger platform and I want to be able to be responsible with that platform but I feel guilty. Weirdly to say that I like it. You know I mean yeah because it's not something. I know a lot of other chefs. Have that opportunity and I feel like a a wimp in some ways but I also like it because it allows me to keep my brain engaged in other ways and continue to grow but I will say you know as someone who really enjoys you and I think you're great at it. I think you're great at the media side. I think people were so confused by Anthony Bourdain. Because it appeared that he had the exact life we all fantasize about which is like perpetually on vacation going out and having great food drinking with people and having fun and I think obviously from his book at least we know he had addiction. I never met the guy personally but clearly some significant depression issues and I think it's relevant for someone like you for someone like me to go. Okay yeah. The grass looks green over there. I'm doing this. This is good. But man always haven't scheduled self-healing time self check in time all that being accountable to people. I sure hope. That's a part of your program and plan you know I'm trying I'm trying really hard and I know it's a problem when people like the first thing people say is. Hey Dave are you taking care of yourself when ten people tell me that in a month? I'm like Oh Shit. I think I'm I'm I'm really in it right now and you know. Tony. Tony passing was brutal for me because in so many ways he was a mentor. Like an older brother figure to me and When he died I think what was so hard for me was I was like that. Shit was supposed to happen to me. Not Tony Rights. And he's the Mick Jagger of your world that guy's supposed to be impervious something like that and we know we started talking about him asking for help and that that being a sign of strength and for good period of time. I was really mad at myself because I felt selfish. And whenever I would see Tony I think when I first got to know Tony really well we were just hanging and eat and drink and have an amazing time and and then I think it got a little bit less of hang because you realize like oh check I got I got to be like a. I gotta be like a respectable adult for him and help him out. I think that where I felt bad was he had to be so strong for everyone else that I don't know if anyone gave in return to him and I felt really guilty. 'cause I I wish I had said. Hey Tony like you're always helping me. What can I do for you? Yeah I don't know if that would have made a difference but I know a lot of people felt the same way because he was constantly giving to people. Yeah I think that these kinds of Alpha's it's really hard to imagine that they need someone to take care of them as well. Yeah there are so many occasions where I could have just had that simple conversation but as you know is someone who's wrestled with all of it. There's no real magic words right. It's got to be the person asking for help and becoming open to all suggestions and yeah. I think I was intoxicated. Just like everyone else's Tony's a even though there might have signs or things and you're just like she's gone through all this he's got he's got it. You know you know my good friend. Dave chose set the best and they had a very different relationship than anyone else because chose an addict in a variety different ways. He's like Tony just jumped from heroin to work never went to Rehab. He just cold Turkey. Heroin and Tony of severe addictive personality that was tempered over the years but It's scary for me for myself for two people that I care about that. Also have addictive personalities and. It's something that I never thought I'd talk about as much as I do. I'm so glad you do because again yours. Somebody's Tony it is incumbent. Upon you you own all of the vulnerabilities and the you know the struggles in and helps people not feel alone in. There's seen someone successful who still actively vulnerable and actively asking for help helps a road. This notion that you can succeed your way into feeling good but she. You can't do it absolutely and I don't know if I'd ever be this open about it if he didn't pass uh-huh because IRA really Russell is like well. If there's anything can be learned means that like it's stupid to bottle it all up and not tell anybody and I hate myself in a variety of ways and I always hate myself in a variety of ways. But if there's one thing that I can feel good about if it's just one person then then it's worth it but is it easy when you talk about all this stuff because I'm a for fifteen years so it's gotten easier you know. I go share my shit in front of strangers in whatever city. I'm working in and so I I it certainly I got used to it. You know. We'll do the first time I said I was molested. I had been sitting on that for fourteen years and I don't think I told someone again for another five and then someone again in a year and now I'll tell anyone really doesn't have the weight it used to but I'll tell you if I'm being honest it's a lot easier for me to talk about the things I've gone through as opposed things. I'm currently going through. That's still very challenging for me to go like oh no. I'm still fight being a scumbag hourly. That's like my DNA. It's gotten easier but I still do. There's there's potholes all over. Just walk out your front door. Yes so that's something I could get better at aspire to be better at that. The real time vulnerability the real time struggle. You know something. That's crazy that I did recently two months ago because I've been trying to like get the right medication for me. Yeah there was a couple of years where I decided to go off medication and I can look back and be like holy fucking Shit like I was so fucking out of my mind and thankfully I got back on it and it's always been hard to sort of get me to a place where everything's working right. Yeah I feel so sympathetic to everyone that deals with what you do because even if you find that magic recipe right your body then evolves. It's an ongoing right. There's no magic combination and like the way I've always described it feels like I can just get enough oxygen if I'm in the water right like I'm not drowning per se but it feels like I could at any moment after years of seeing my doctor like only recently. Did I found out like I'm bipolar? When I say three or four years ago because I'd ask them like what am I. Why would you want to know this David? I'm like Fox. Just tell me what I wanNA fuck it now. Yeah and weirdly like two three months ago because we've been trying to tweak my medication to get it better. He's like hey there's this. Dna sequence intest. That's offered right now and it just does your twenty two chromosomes that is most widely associated with your mental health and does a couple that sequences your liver to see how you process medicine and this is specifically just to get you on the best medicine for yourself. Yea and I sat on that for a long. But I just wasn't ready to do it because I felt like this was Gatica Shit and I was like I don't know these are moral dilemmas. And which opened up this. Pandora's box sounds like fuck. I don't know film in the show. Last year was hard when I say I lost my mind. I lost my fucking mind in Cambodia. He was just scrape place to lose it because in so many ways I felt bad I was like you know what this is. This is what Tony should be doing. What the fuck am I doing and and I was just getting ready to have our first son and I was just in a weird place and I was like shit like I needed to make sure that. Don't go down this road so we were like really trying to figure out the best medication for me and I changed a bunch of things and it just didn't work out and I fought like fucking. I'm just going to say yes. I'm going to do this and I got the results back. And it blew my fucking mind really. Yeah I was like oh it explained so much. It was a weird thing to be able to connect the DOTS and You know what was most interesting to me was like it almost immediately. I was like if this becomes popular. This is going to stigmatize mental illness immediately because he was saying. I'M GONNA candidate for Ketamine. There's something in my DNA that says I'm academy and Responder and haven't called the doctor yet because I'm GonNa be legally alantic. Ketamine dripped into me. Part of me is like yes. This is fucking amazing. This scary but he was saying they have a spray. Where if you're feeling bad Or you know you're going to go down episode. You can actually inhaling your nose and you're immediately going to feel better and I was like this is fucking crazy so effectively. It's an EPI pen for your emotions. I was like wait if you're a diabetic you know. No one's GonNa make fun of you because you're you don't produce insulin because we've accepted that as a society you know. Hey need to take medicine. We get that and I think that this may be a game changer. In how people can accept the fact that people's brain functions in their also we're starting to they're starting isolate some gut bacteria that is really common in different forms of depression. I mean yeah. It's all opening up. I think we're going to have such better options as we go forward and it's an exciting time. Actually I mean does he just got imagine yourself in eighteen hundreds dealing with all this stuff. I'm pretty pretty sure I would not be alive without I I don't think I would have made it either. Well David I hope everyone checks. You have a podcast. Can you tell me the name of your? It's a the Dave Chang show. It's.