Ryan, Goliath, M._T._V. discussed on Gettin' Grown
<hes> now I say that in this context I'm not suggesting that disregard my employment or my employers <hes> but is one of those things where we feel like somebody else will choose us in an employment situation even if we speak our mind and I wonder if we have been socialized to believe in I imagine maybe more especially black women I think black where may have a slightly different situation than I can also talk about but where you feel like you have to maybe have to choose silence I. I wonder what your thoughts are on that like I don't. I think it's going to be different every Ryan since you can chime in too I think that <hes> even when we think about if I think about what immensity he dated as a teenager the kind of messages that I received stories that were told me the things that were M._t._v.'s movies about what it meant to be dating. I don't I don't ever in my experience. It was not a lot of women women hold the decision making power and if you didn't mean you choose -able if you learned that regulation obstinate made you a certain kind of woman or for him high or or that you were yeah and I mean again. I don't want to generalize but I'm just saying for me. This is a space where I'm trying to build that muscle because I don't feel like I've ever used it before. Am I be on my own drama but yeah I don't feel like it is at all I don't. I don't think it is not something that that that comes naturally to me so that's when I say and I have friends who tell on me. All the time like you know position yourself to meet people or this guy is literally throwing it at you. Why don't you like in pushed me and encouraged me to kind of get out there and make the first step in shoot my shot and Dan I hear them and I know and I've seen other people do it in a workout successfully for them in it's not something that I'm opposed to but it literally feels like I'm wearing my momma shoes black or I'm wearing somebody else like it doesn't feel like you know own like like in the Bible when David went to fight Goliath in in in the key gave him like the the equipment like <hes> I don't know like the soldier's equipment and Dave anytime twelve years old putting on his grown man armor he was like I can't fight? Nobody initiative like this mess of me like he keeps like this is. This is too heavy for me like I literally feel like I'm operating within you know a uniform that is not mine it. It doesn't come naturally to me <hes> so then I have to navigate negotiate whether that is me being fearful <hes> and scared and and just like a punk about this or is it something that's just like or owning like maybe this is not the way that it works for me. I wonder for you all and I'm just I'm also always trying to understand women better because by women are so important to me in my life and like I tried to anyway change. You are are you. Do you feel like these are the tools and strategies that were maybe passed down to you that don't memory you in ways that they fit for the women who pass them down. I think why feel like is what I saw. Oh I don't feel like and I mean I hate this. I always tell my mother's business on the show..