Pixar discussed on Unhappy Hour with Matt Bellassai


Deep tidy tidy tidy ties everybody loves a good pixar movie right wrong because this is unhappy our and we find the shitty nece and everything especially your childhood faves like fucking toy story and toy story two and toy story three and the forthcoming joy story for come up with a new idea jumped fox so basically i'm going to go through all the pixar movies i've seen and find out what i hate about them because i can find something to hate in all of them even though pixar movies generally are fine i have some issues i have some knits to pick sar we have choice story right off the bat i don't like the promotion of any world in which inanimate objects can watch me while i'm engaged in intimate acts okay no thanks thanks i don't need a piggy bank to pretend to be white bliss when actually he's making a mental note of all the times i've eaten cake on the toilet also i don't even fucking piggybank at all because i don't wanna fucking pig knowing that i blow on my money on meaningless garbage piggybanks toy story is capitalist propaganda toy story is just big industry trying to convince our children that objects have feeling don't believe this kids this is marie condo shit you know you know that book no the life changing magic of tidying up oh yes i read that chet and one of the chapters is like respect your belongings slick tell your socks that you love them when you put them to bed at night that's what toy story is if you believe in the premise of toy story that all toys have feelings then every carnival game is just like a freakish holocaust nightmare also where our sids parents said the crazy neighbor boy who wins woody and buzz at the crane game and then takes them home to mutilate them this child is like one breakup away from being on the cover of time magazine and nobody is intervening we need to give this boy the help he needs or at least find him away to relieve his sexual tension also let's face it twice story was just an excuse to get all of us to sympathize with a toy named after a boehner and given some of the shit that's gone down at pixar fat make sense to be honest now finally sorry not sorry but to infinity and beyond belongs to beyond say now because she's saying it and single ladies and now it's hers next we got a bug's life pixar movie number two once again a pixar movie glorifying beasts i love a bug's life a bug's life is disgusting if i wanted to watch a bunch of ants fuck around i'd lift up your mom's mattress oh that's fine issue she's sprouts also let's be honest grasshoppers are cooler than aunts and they deserve to be in charge that's just the way the cookie crumbles my friend if you can't learn how to team together like a literal army of ants then you deserve to get your fucking acid in not in a good way either plus one of the grasshoppers name is hopper that's like if my name was fat gay masturbaters.

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