India, Goudreau discussed on Changes Big and Small


And it just proved to me that i was making such effort to change to adjust my energy to him and not realizing that i was not getting anything in return there was no reciprocity there and that turned into also realizing how did this all happen in the first place. Why did i adjust myself to him so much. And that's something within the south asian community. I think women here a lot like you have to adjust you have to adjust to the point where that word just makes me cringe and realized that actually a lot of people talk about quote unquote daddy issues. I don't really like that term a lot. I think it's kind of problematic but for me. There were things with my father that are there but my mother wound with my mom is very very deep. I realized how much i grew up having to be subservient to her having to adjust myself having mask myself constantly because of her wounds in the way. She projected her frustrations and anger upon my brother. And i especially upon me being a mediator being that person that she parental fide when i say parental vacation. I'm talking about how she put me so much. An apparent role even as a child. And so therefore i felt this need to save people including my now ex husband. I felt like it was my role in my job but my started my healing journey realizing i needed to really look at all of this in look deep inside about what my relationship with myself was. How was i- parenting myself. I never even thought about that. I just thought about other people and how to make them happy in what they needed. Which is exactly what my mom did to this day. I think she's healing. But you know. I think it's still very hard for her to focus on herself and realize what her own needs are and i realized that i can break the cycles by doing it with myself. I can help her as much as i can. But i also realize to constantly pushed my mom or anybody to do. Certain things is me forcing my will upon them. And that's not okay. And that's another reason. I feel like i'm a hype. Girl all about encouraging. But i'm not trying to force someone if they're not ready they're not ready and there was a time where i was. I think we all have our time when you know. Sometimes we just start to get it if my mascot did you have an arranged marriage. Was that of the character of your relationship here. Sure no we did not. I met him online. He is indian. And i did want to marry an indian person. My parents emigrated from india in not just that he was goudreau.

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