Chaz Jj, Wafa, Cape Cod discussed on Unhappy Hour with Matt Bellassai

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

But instead they cut the trip short and landed at Cape Cod, which is the whitest place. There is how do you fuck it up that badly? Just aim aim your boat where you wanna go and then go their boats work. Fucking Mayflower s plus like weird that you're just going to celebrate surviving disease and starvation when half of your colony died on the way to the new worlds, that's like that's like going out on a Friday night with all of your friends and half of them die from typhoid. And and famine on the way to the bar, and then all of you survivors, just like drink extra hard to their memory now empty, Chaz JJ. JJ? Okay. Wrong. Also who the fuck eat thought of a corn acopia, the cornucopia is the worst basket shape. It's the least efficient basket shape of all of the basket shapes. You know, what it reminds me of a dick NAT, and you know, water coolers went instead of having a Cup that has an actual bottom. It's just a cone. Why do those cups exists anti-labour? It's what because you can't you can't you have to just drink it. And then get back to your desk as quickly as possible because you can't set it down. I thought it was so you'd have to throw it in the trash can cause you can't send it down anywhere. Either way. It's oppressive. You know, what they should have at offices instead of those interested giant like a hamster water bottle that everybody has to walk up to sip upside down spigot? Yeah. I don't have anything else to say about according to copy. It's just a weird. It's a weird basket. You set it down in the new fucking falls over and all your squashes fallout. And it's like great on all of my gourds and squashes are all over the floor. Squashes Guan Yu's. Also who the fuck eats gourd? Do you? Are you even supposed to actually were don't know, isn't that pumpkin? Technically, a gourd. The all gore pumpkins, I just assume this is my taxonomy, which is wrong. Pumpkins are smooth skin and squashes or slash chords. Have eczema. Okay. Sure. Squashes? They all have also like peanut pumpkins, which literally looks like it has peanuts all over it. Yeah. Yeah. Pumpkin. Because it reminds me of this guy who ran the va like knockoff blockbuster in our town. There was one that was just like it just had flashing lights that was like physio store and the guy who ran it had an a knows that had a bunch of like bumps on it. What if you listen, he's dead? But I just have a visceral memory of this man with his gourd face. Anyway, moving on. You're just you're just gonna learn a bunch of hunting and gathering techniques from the Watson, though tribe, and then survive the winter just you can murder them all later down the road. That's like when the deliveryman brings me, my chicken salad sandwich on a hallway bagel and blueberry Muffin and ice coffee. And then I wait two years and then tip him by giving him a blanket full of smallpox. That's not how it's done. No that's disrespectful to the the hunter gatherers in our society. Also, the first things giving lasted like three whole days three day meal, selfish, selfish. We should go back to that. That sounds way more fun three days. It's called Coachella. That's true. Anyway, fuck them for doing that next. The pilgrims invited the WAFA knowing to their feast, and then some of the some of the natives had to walk like two full days to get there. And then when they got there the pilgrims were like, thank you. Oh my God. Thank you so much for coming f-. Why we don't have any rooms for you. So so like if you want to like if you want like a roof to sleep under like a wall to lean against you're gonna have to build that yourself, so otherwise have fun sleeping outside. That's what they did. That's what they did things like nothing destination wedding. If I if you invite me to your house for dinner, I expect at least Abed. Somewhere where I could lie down pull a cover over my head and scream and finally all of the women pilgrims had to wear like so much there to wear two petticoats. This isn't really a great one to end on. It just happens to be the last one on my list is cold in New England. I. They do wear. Stockings held up by garters, which like what year is it..

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