Anita Anita Sanchez, Murder, Canada discussed on Mindfulness Mode
Mindful tribe. I've just finished reading a book that impacted me in so so many ways I mean it was such a beautifully written book. It was so much about forgiveness. It was about shame it it was about so many things community and this book is written by a Brilliant Wise Generous Wolman woman who I have with me right here. Today I have the wonderful author Anita Sanchez. PhD Anita are you in mindfulness this mode today I am totally present. It feels so good to be here and to be a conversation with you. Finally that's great and you you know what when you read a book that impacts you and then you know you're going to be spending time with author. I mean that is an absolute gift. It really is and and I'm. I'm just so thrilled. Tell us what mindfulness means to you and Nita Yup mindfulness to me is about being present but let me explain explain it also in an indigenous way so in addition to sway. We get a choice every moment of every day to be there. Good medicine or bad medicine and good medicine is really about the mindfulness is basically saying that it's anyone or anything can help make this happen and it's putting get alignment the spiritual mental emotional and physical and when that is in alignment one is truly present able able to open heart mind body. Everything is present to what is so instead of the the crazy mind going off into pass into the future. We're allies have clarity in here in the living right now now anita. I talked about the book. I don't know if I mentioned the name of it is the four sacred gifts and the subtitle is indigenous wisdom for modern times and yeah such a wonderful book. You can check it out at four four sacred gifts dot com mindful tribe just going to share a little bit more about you Anita Anita Sanchez. PhD As tack and and Mexican American is a transformational leadership consultant. She's a speaker a coach and author of this book that I've been talking about Oh and she bridges indigenous teachings with the latest science to Inspire and equip women and men to enjoy meaningful full empower full lives and careers so one of the things that you do. Is You define indigenous so let's start there. Let's talk because your definition of indigenous indigenous really is everyone. All human beings are indigenous because we all are from the Earth every element innocence of of the Earth Water the stars so we are all indigenous but when I say indigenous in the context of today I'm talking about human beings people bowl who have stayed connection to the traditions to the connection to the earth through ceremonies dance through their oral history so that that that connection has not been lost whereas for many of us who are come from the earth bills cultural knowing that original original knowledge there was a there was a separation from it so that's when we talk about indigenous people were really talking about people nations Sion's and tribes all over the world who have kept that connection to the Earth your book the four sacred gifts outlines these four gifts this and the first one and has such a powerful gift is the power to forgive the unforgivable and at first of course when I started hardy to read the book I thought well what does that really mean the unforgivable and of course it wasn't long before I understood what it meant but maybe you can tell us what what does it mean. Forgive the on forgivable. The unforgivable is something that's fairly large for people so it's hard to define it for a particular person because sometimes it's accumulation of little hurts and mistreatments that become the big unforgivable but when I was talking about the big unforgivable I was thinking about some some of the things that pretty much every human being across all different cultures around the world will say his unforgivable by abuse this sexual abuse incest or the killing the annihilation of whole groups of people which was true for most many indigenous most people around the world it was about a radical us and they forgot that we were seat so they tried to bury us but as the saying goes we're seed so we remain so so that's when you think about those things that the hurt and mistreatment is so big so deep that each feels the allusion is as if it is unforgivable doubt certainly is in here in Canada. I know that it's just devastating to think of how we have treated indigent indigent people it's just so shameful and so sad and but it isn't just in Canada of course I mean it's it's it's it's not but it it just it hurts so much nothing you're but we you all are in the process what I see from the outside from us that a whole row that read that pathway to forgiveness because you have as a country acknowledged unlike in the US we haven't done a formal acknowledgement knowledge that you've acknowledged what happened the taking of sacred lands the taking of a water the killing of people putting people in boarding schools and it the let's go on in that list is actually pretty true for us as well only you all have acknowledged it and then you have actually put in place now education of all people in Canada but starting in elementary school about what is the true history rather than washing it over as most nations and countries due to only show the viewpoint of who is so called the winner of whatever the war whatever it was so it's very powerful because as I talked to my brothers and sisters of various tribes from Canada they shared with us you know the great works it. It still needs to happen but also have a different kind of lightness awareness ability to act because they have a whole whole nation that they are part of that has acknowledged what has been and it's not just past tense which in these two touche's that exist today day embedded in there is the favouritism is the bias conscious and unconscious bias towards the mainstream people versus the people who had already been there who had cared for the land and cared for each other yeah so true. Why should you forgive? That's one of the questions did you ask and I absolutely loved the answer because it gives you true freedom to help create positive change and that's not all. Let's talk more about why we should forgive its import. What I've found Bruce though is that it's hard for people to take in end the softest part of the year hearing in their mind and their heart why should do this? I'd like to percents what forgiveness is not because people mistake that and that's why they go oh I can't do this. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you forgot. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you don't seek justice to change systems that structure so that pain pain that hurt that mistreatment doesn't happen again. Forgiveness doesn't mean you're week or beach praying a whole group of people forgiveness as you mentioned it is a path to freedom is what I found is. The pathway not only to freedom is the freedom to find out and discover and live in a way that you truly unconditionally can love yourself. I never knew that hurts. Mistreatments unforgivable would stop me from being able to be a whole human and being enjoy of being who I am. What forgiveness allows you to take off all the way the heaviness the energy that we use? We only have so much energy every day that I was using in holding onto the upset the resentment of what happened and didn't happen happen in my life. Due to the incest that was part of my life from age four to thirteen or the murder of my father based on race is why he was killed taken for a black man back in the mid sixties and what happens is when you carry you that anger that resentment that Energy Nelson Mandela said it doesn't do anything to the person you're directed or the group of people it eats at you and so I hi actually came to a place in my teens and early twenties where I used to tell people or my well pain is so deep it big and my well joy is so small and that's a distortion. That's a lie that is the lie of the illusion of pain in her mistreatment new think that's all there is an worse Bruce Bruce worst of all is that you get so identified with the pain and hurt that you think that it's your identity and that is so untrue and when I could start feeling that out because of using the various skits why could start feeling that way. I began to discover that even though that my story are some things that many people will have never extended oh my gosh. How could you forgive that just unthinkable? It's not at all because what I realize is I put down the arm or when I put down this notion of separation I realize all the good things that were present present that I couldn't be present two because I was storing it in all the anger in the fight and so when I began to let that go more and more more of love for myself of the freedom and ability to be with other people and other beings all the teachers that I got as a child or my grandmother Hi there my mother than digital about us being one in connection began to fill my life and oh my Gosh I you come to a plate wait. Why did any way that you don't want any of these horrible things happening to other people however I also would never change my life because of the strength I think the post traumatic growth that I experienced from having gone through that so it's not at all idolizing the pain and mistreatment mm-hmm we need to stop there and there's movement all of the world to stop the mistreatment of women and girls and stop the racism and all of that but I am saying is that there's always a choice in the choices to get sacked in spiral downward in that also for all of is here is the choice of possibility to move move towards resilience towards growth towards ability to be president in the world in a way an understanding that gives you even then more ability to move forward free of a lot of fears because you've gone through such a process of letting go and forgiving? I loved how you you went through this step by step. How do you forgive here a ways? This is how I did it. This is how you can do it and you said you know it can take a long longtime or it can take an instant. You can simply decide just like that. I'm going to forgive this person and it can just take an instant. I mean that's incredible edible. It's it's true I am both to an I learn to hold open as I helped create the Grayson space for other people to empower themselves salves to to take to make choices that it could be any of those. I have a story All shorten it but I think is an important one so hard of the healing the forgiveness parts of it happened very quickly but one of them that took longer was the murder of my father. He worked in a steel mill. He get very dark in the summer are in one seven. He was also an alcoholic so one summer after work. He went to get his beer before he came home. He didn't know earlier that day of black men and white men were having an argument so while he sat there drinking his beer the white man returning just saw his profile and shot several bullets who is heading killed on the spot. Will I mean that's terrific. If it comes thirteen I had six brothers and sisters were from age nine to nineteen my mother seventh grade education and she always worked all the time but at that point you know I remember remember her ever not working to put us all through private school and just doing the best she could for all of us in education be Keelan but what happened the week after that was enough for anyone especially thirteen year old too just like what do I do with that but the year week after my father's murder a white woman and a young white boy who somewhere somewhere around my age came to the door and I was by my mother and she identified herself as the wife and the son of the.