Partner, LA, Eric One discussed on The Art of Charm

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

For most of our listeners. They're probably wondering what was the moment that you realized that he had changed knows worth pursuing a relationship. So what was that moment? Or maybe wasn't chairman. Yeah. How did you know? Okay. He's changed in. This is worth the friendship. Yeah. I love the US into one of the things that we didn't really talk about the fact that this was public that was fairly public because we talked a lot about our relationship, and we were kind of like this power couple running these businesses together. And so I was so embarrassed, and I had so much shame around the affair because like I couldn't share it on social media. I was I was trying to just like I didn't even tell my best friends that I moved to LA like I literally called my parents while I was on the drive. I was like, oh, I left the relationship. Like, I was so embarrassed in want anyone to know. And of course, people were falling me on soc media is like what do you do you live in LA now? And I'm like what like I was just not I didn't answer any questions that a lot of people really attached to our story. I actually didn't talk. About it publicly for about a year and a half. Well, people are asking questions and never responded. I was just very like I was still trying to figure it out. So how could I even have a lesson at that point? You know, so we did he kind of made that one eighty, but it was through our constant desire to show up to conversations. And I don't want to be a little this part. Because if you're listening, and you're going, well, you don't understand my exit Nassau and I'm like, okay, cool. There's maybe there's no hope there, but what both of us committed to. And I think it's because we were just good friends at a base level is we just kept showing up to the conversation, and we were tripping over ourselves trying to communicate because neither one of us had really done that that well, obviously, that's kind of why things there was a rift in their relationship. And so we kept showing up, and you know, and we would say the thing that we needed to say one person would storm out, and then the other person would Li amended come back, and and so we had these like this year and a half of kind of the willingness to try to figure it out and try to understand and luckily, he's someone who's also into personal development. So he was confused. He's like, wait. Even he didn't understand it to himself because I love Jill. How can I love to people at once that was confusing? And so this may not be possible for someone listening. But it really helped me become a better communicator 'cause it's two parts of communication, right? There's I knowing how you feel most people don't even know they can't even name the emotion. And then the second is being able to actually speak it. And then let the other person have their response rate rose trying to manage the other person's gonna receive it. We don't want them to mad disappointed whatever. And so I- practice just like sharing my truth and letting the chips fall, and he did the same. And we have a question here from Eric one of our listeners, and it is our Cuna episode. I think it falls in line with this exact feeling is I get a lot out of your podcasts. But sometimes I catch myself trying to mentally apply. Your tips to other people we're gonna fix them. And I'd like to know some tricks to keeping my mind constantly focused on fixing only myself. I love the show. Great advice. And I feel like for a lot of people listening in your shoes. They're like. Well, we gotta fix this other person. He's the problem my business partner and my lover all him and his action. Do I fix him? And as you said it gives away your power, right?.

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