Dowling Harriet Tubman, Facebook, Maine discussed on Unhappy Hour with Matt Bellassai


All right worst, things Spurs. Let's talk about the worst news of the week. Police in Maine say they helped corral a quote unquote, unruly pig on the run along interstate ninety five no word yet on exactly why the police were unable to recognize their worker. Is the cops are pigs. I definitely thought you were just going to make a berries mom joke. Again. You're just gonna destroy my family wants more. But thank you. Nope. Anti police sentiment for. Thanksgiving. Anyway, I feel like every episode. We have a story about an animal on the run. It gets caught. It's one of our biggest beats. Yeah. It's probably all remember it was that goat that goat? That was sad. Dowling Harriet Tubman of goat's. He's he's going cross species. He's helping everybody he's an equal opportunity escapist go. Anyway, the police wrote a Facebook post boasting about how they'd capture the uncooperative pig. The pig was not read his Miranda rights, and I will be representing him in the forthcoming case that I intend to take all the way to the supreme court and the cavenaugh cavernous fucking snow. We'll have to look me right in the eyes. Why say me and my pig, Mr. client. Well, not stand for this. We don't recognize your legitimacy on this bench Bom. Anyway, next a woman. Oh, I love the story. A woman writing on an Australian blog called women, I guess what? W H I M women human. Anyway, she wrote this like first person essay about her wedding. Basically, she says she was in a hotel room. She was sipping pre wedding champagne with her bridesmaids. And she gets a text and her friends are like oh shit. Your phone's blowing up and then she's. All of my friends do every time I receive tax especially the night before your wedding. Yeah. Anyway, she goes looks at the phone, and it's a message that says I wouldn't marry him would you and then there was a series of screen shots that just documented this like x rated affair that her fiance was having with another woman. The texts included this weekend you and I it's on hot stuff. Bring your a game. That's how I sex. Also, your body is fucking incredible and shit too. You know, how to use it? I wish my GIF had half the skills you do. See why do you have to do that? Why can't you just cheat? Like victimless -ly, right? Bring her down. The messages were apparently dating from like months before to only days before the wedding. So Oliver Brian mates are like you need to go murder him. And she's like a now she was so mad, but she liked takes the night rests gets up goes through with the wedding. But walks down the aisle with her phone gets to the front in front of everybody in front of him. And it's like the wedding will not be happening. And then she reads every tax out loud in front of ham in brenham, his family every text and then he like runs out with his best, man. And then she was like. Yep. The wedding not happening. Sorry. He's a horrible person. But the reception will be happening, and you're all invited to come and have a party to celebrate quotes. Honesty. Finding true love 'em following your heart..

Coming up next