Bryant, Zach discussed on The Holistic PT Podcast
This is what I'm talking about him talking about using positively is away to dull the negativity to minimize negatively to minimize and suppressing avoid the things that. paps need a little bit more love paps need a little bit more attention perhaps need a little bit more. Broom your to be expressed to be felt to be in existence right now, a lot of the time positively is something that. Look depending on where you're sourcing your information. Sometimes it's it's something that we see is like. Everyone. Just says to be positive or you know we learn or over time that it's you know that's a good thing. We should be positive. The more positive people we have in the world better. The will be and I argue that that is that is so very, very true provided that positivity is not results of bypassing at depth McKay. So. What I mean when I say positively is something that we slap on as band aid. A really great example is something. One of my clients was actually She was unpacking with me last night and. She started to dance with her anger in her frustration and she. She started to dance with it in not she approached it. And she took his hand and she allowed it to lead her for a little bit. But as she started dancing, she realized that she doesn't know the steps. And then she started to realize that perhaps maybe people can see that see that she doesn't know the steps in see perhaps that she has no clue. and. Fi crepe soon. Bryant fear being code out fear being judged for being seen and it's really the sense of being so deeply exposed. In that dance in the dance with your angle with your frustration and obviously any other emotion that that is coming few. But this one specifically was fear and frustration us. Sorry anger and frustration. And what was so beautiful was that she she started that dance you know and she started to unravel with me and it just all came out and it was so beautiful it was expressed so healthily. Until. Until. She told me about some of the positives. Right. All of this is happening now I'm feeling really stocking really frustrated in. These fucking thing going on and Yada Yada Yada in but I recognize my problems on as bad as everyone else's and I should be grateful because you know at least I still have my job and I should be grateful because at least this and and you can see how you can see how as you sort reach that point of fully exposing your anger and your frustration and being more importantly, the sensation is being seen and being witnessed as you are expressing the ruinous of that emotion of that feeling of anger. You really start to dance with an as soon as you start to feel that that sense of discomfort. You pull away you pull away you retract and you reflexively find something else to focus on to avoid. Being judged, not experience being seen in that way and for for a Lotta people in north of this particular client that is a feeling of weakness of being caught at as someone who is not in control as someone who is not strong. Vulnerability, right right at the very deep core, the deep this is this fear of being seen as vulnerable or as a victim. Right. And it was just so beautiful. I was so honored to receive her and I just heard plotted I said I love you and I love your anger and let's talk about this. Positively. Right because. She was sorry close to really fully expressing touching the depth of all that was being experienced for her in that moment I, the ruinous, the real mess it was she was allowing that to feel her up and come out and and be fully expressed until it got too uncomfortable right and we all have this You know we all make this in our own ways and in different circumstances, different things, and you may you may recognize that there are certain experiences in your life will certain feelings that you'll only go with certain point with to a certain point with you know until it gets a little bit sticky, uncomfortable and the and sorry the mind creeps in and starts to make up the ego thoughts make stories about what that means and we devote. Right and we divert and so many different ways like this is. You know we this is really like we we avoid it a lack. Shit that's intense. That's really uncomfortable. Don't want to go there. I will scroll my phone instead. What can I do? Instead I'll cook in the kitchen or go clean the house I'll avoid procrastinate in some way, but I just don't WanNa feel this look at this, and so we find other ways to distract ourselves and now mind thoughts and feelings. And positively is one way that we do that to bypass really touching debt than I was sorry. Proud of my client because this has been something being witnessed in anything other than being or K. and fine, and in control and on top of things has been. A very, very long and beautiful journey fit this fit is beautiful client and if she's listening, she's probably listening I'm love you I just be so much So. We use positively as one of those ways to. To reflexively divert from from that discomfort. Riot. So we only take it to a certain point before we remove ourselves from an old distract astles from it'll retract from it'll shut down, will pull away or find something else to cover it up with and and positively is one of those ways that we do that case. Sir What's really fun about this is as soon as we start to understand something or soon as someone explain something in a way that resonates we understand and you know it's sort of connect some dots and it all makes sense almost using this analogy at gipsy today actually. We had a new goal come in and she's like well, I could just just a lot now, Zach? Yeah. It's a lot and just tried to explain to do to sort of lack. You start out with. is actually like a thousand dots on the page. But when you start, you can only connect to right like you just play new dance between the two for a little bit and then eventually connect three. But the whole time you don't realize is actually a hundred dots that connect to those other three dots in. It's just your consistency in and you're showing up in your practices that allow you to to start to really connect those dots and this is all this is this is all I love to to really bring to you is this justice opportunity to connect some dots to.