Listen: Founder, AOL, ED discussed on Freedom Fast Lane with Ryan Daniel Moran
"I loved it. And. Would wake up every day with the pit my stomach because I was so upset with my life. And. That that was enough on its own, but that time of my life, and I think everybody eventually goes through that point of you know, what am I really doing? Do. I wanna make a change is this all there is the life, especially when you had some success. There's a sense of what do I is his all? I is this really what I wanted like a have. I have some abundance now as far as monetary goes what the hell now. And I started going to some marketing events to try and get some ideas for what I was doing business in war. I was going with my life and. I was around all these people who just put on this persona at the time. I thought it was real of. They were just like they had it all and. I went in. And I I heard the one of the keynote speakers talk lot happiness, and he was the founder of AOL. I think more Ed sold AOL or something. And I listen to this guy talk about happiness and. Twenty minutes into the conversation to the presidential is like me. I'm not happy. This is this is awful. I feel terrible about myself and my life, and I gotta get outta here. And I I went up to my room, and I I sat on the bed. And I was like what am I one of my doing with my wife, and I time, and what is my purpose here. At the time. I was a very religious person. I'm no longer a religious person. But I was extremely religious at the time. And I remember feeling this. What what felt like this really dark presence in the room and on the other side of it. I think it was probably just my own perception my own projection. But the time the way I interpreted this in my very religious upbringing was that there was there was like a darkness or demon presence or something in the room because it really felt like there was something outside of me in the room that was just this real darkness. And it told me or I I had this thought. Of I should open up the window in my hotel room. And I should jump out of it. And it was like it kind of felt like an this is this is embarrassing for me to talk about because. It sounds weird. And I don't even believe I don't believe that my perception at the time was accurate. But this is what was going on in my head at the time. And that was that there's this presence in the room, and it communicated me told me, you have an out you can open up the window, and you can jump out of it. And. It sounded like a great idea. It sounded like I had an out it sounded like. I had an option. And that scared the crap out of me. So I did not do. So I picked up the phone and I called the suicide prevention hotline, which I I googled on my smartphone, which were new at the time. And I I called the number, and I talked to a very unhelpful person on the other end and had a really awkward conversation. And I told that person. I'm supposed to be the kid. That has all together. I'm supposed to be the kid that. Is an awesome business. I'm supposed to be this. I'm supposed to be this. And she said somebody affect the while these things take time.."