Krista Tiffin, Burstein, Iraq Meditation Center discussed on On Being


I'm Krista Tiffin. And this is on being today for mother's day with Jewish Buddhist mother grandmother teacher and psychotherapist, Sylvia. Burstein? I happen to have the experience of having my first child my daughter while I was at seminar while studying the allergy which was a really interesting thing to do to be reflecting the logical and then going through this experience of bringing life into the world. One of one of the really strong reactions. I had after she was born was realizing that I'd grown up using this language of goddess father. And that is very or don't reflect on what we mean. Because this father God who I always thought of so sovereign so powerful, right. And the experience becoming a parent is is one of excruciating vulnerability and loss of control. And to be able to know this whole thing of worrying and catastrophes being fearful gives you all kinds of rich new reasons to. It's really affect one of the people who. Women who came regularly. I teach I teach is Iraq meditation center out in California. And the classes kind of a regular group of people that comes every Wednesday and women came who was a pregnant was at first child and the whole group was looking forward to her having her baby. And she took some time off after the baby's born. Then she came back brought the baby there, and she talked about she said, you know, when I became pregnant everybody said, congratulations great-great-great fake day, and what I had the baby Rizek, congratulations. Great fake fake. Nobody tells me that I had at that point mortgaged, my heart for the entire rest of my life because my happiness now depends on this baby being well and healthy and nothing bad happening to it. Nobody tells you that they don't say when they hear say, oh we brace yourself. Stationed graduated foes this converge relations. It's the most amazing thing we can do as you said feel speaking to create a new life that comes out with fingernails, and eyelashes and all all its fingers and toes, it's amazing thing. And it's extremely awakening in the sense of knowing how vulnerable we are. You know, sometimes when you say goodbye to somebody sales. He's soon and you've actually never know. And it would be grim day. Think about that all the time. But if I think about that enough time, I think the result of my thinking about that a lot is that I try very hard not to harbor any grudges and not to leave anybody in the not good way. And to say, I love you as much as I can when I leave people, and when I talked to my children, or my grandchildren. I think that's actually the thing about the effect of being aware of how fragile in fed how fragile and strange unpredictable life. In fact, in fact, that that the crux of what the tot is really is realizing that everything passes including these lives, and it's it's not it's not a gloomy Macab kind of philosophy. It's really an understanding. But that's what's true, and knowing that's that's true. I think we have mandated not to waste any time with 'em the negativity or grudges it so easy to make a grudge list and the nurtured. The world has changed pretty rapidly in the sense as well. People tend to you'll often have mixed families of one parent is religious. The other is not or they come from different traditions, and their extended families may have ten different traditions. But then when people become parents, they often still start asking this question. Do I want to have something on her? What do I want to pass on? A rabbi sandy Sappho said to me once that many of us not all of us have a mother tongue a tradition we grew up in and we may have rejected that, but she said don't let your tradition be defined by people who may have ruined it for you that that probably is a first face to look. But actually the truth about me is I didn't come back to Judaism, I've never left many people come back. That's true. I actually never left. I had always a very cordial and warm relationship to Judaism, my family was a comfortably a fairly traditional Jewish families. I grew up. I never questioned that. I was fundamentally Jew in the sense of my native language is sandy Sasso say I actually was introduced to a couple of meditative pads that didn't particularly speak to me. And then I met my teachers and I went on retreat, and I was very touched by what they said. And particularly the understanding about the difference between a life inevitably challenged by pain and complications, but free of suffering that there would be a way to train the mind to not make more suffering out of the inevitable challenges of life. And it just sounded exactly true to meet made tremendous sense of like, Hugh, someone understands that there's something anxiety provoking about life. And I thought that my private hangs. He was my nobody else had it. And I thought about becoming enlightened that if I practiced meditation enough that the challenges of life and the pain and the disappointments of it would just I would sail over them with great nitty. I didn't happen. It didn't happen that didn't happen. I tell people I tell people that I could have the most profound equanimity, and I am to words of way from losing it completely. Then they say, what are those two words as you have to understand the first phone has to ring ring ring. And big of the phone voice says Hello Aloma..

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