Long Island, Hicksville, Hilton Windham discussed on High and Mighty
I remember another way the way he saw it was I guess now. Well, he's he's out. And he's he's gay. But like we all liked him. Everybody liked him. So what would he have been worried about? Yeah. And it's like, well, that's not how it works for me. But he can't get he can't get outside of his own head. And so for me as a kid, I was surrounded by people like that who were at that point. Actually, it felt vicious to hear people say fag all the time vicious people to be like hell bent on on guys being the most quote, unquote, masculine as possible and that to me stems directly from that. Weird macho Italian culture that was so. Insidious? It was it was everywhere. And it crosses, you You know. It's know, it's like. like comes from that. But everyone wants at least these the young men I grew up around wanted that macho attitude was like that's where the weights that's where lifting weights comes into play. I feel like going because it's gotta be stronger than the other people. You gotta just don't are you going to be more masculine for me. It was like I think I was I was less scared of being I was honestly less scared of being seen as gay and more scared of being seen as like a Sissy or fag or whatever because it was a death knell for straight guys like that to sort of let my secret that I was gay would have been, you know, I think put a target. I mean back to the to the point that I mean, this is so fucking nuts. But like, and I've tried to block it out. But like at our senior, prom, I think it was a bunch of us who went together in the same limo. Whatever the same seniors. Now we use enjoy. Tony owns a limo tints are bubbling when they show. That's like the ten I was in senior year bubbly tint. So I was like. Charlie gnarly, tinted windows were so huge in my high school window. If my mom lets me tint, I'm gonna go to shade. You can't worse. Yeah. And it was people like these aren't even street legal. That's how awesome these tints. Well, why do you mean darted in systems tense weird? Like, you know, what I think the tenting is like it just gives them such a feeling of bad ass nece. It's your car wearing sunglasses inside inside. You look you'll going to ask my God senior prom to know is gonna say two of two of the people in our group work. It was a gay couple. And I've honestly like blocked this out because it was so silly. But we have to be escorted out of the prom. Because the because they were like threatening the couple threatening. They were getting threats on the dance floor at the fucking Hilton Windham in fucking hicksville or songs already the gas thing. You can do you rent alphabets you like dress up you get your photos taken. It's like to me like for a young street. Boy, I was like this game like doing this very gay and Cillian who why do we need this days to get escorted out because they were threatening a couple and your guy and your your closeted very much. So that's. Even like that's a fucking whole nother to where you're like. Now, I'm not gonna say shit. Imagine. Like, can you imagine that just just heist like high school boys on Long Island having enough hatred in their bodies in their souls and their minds enough hatred for gay people that they threaten them on the dance floor. They go out of their way to make their their senior, prom or any any day. Forget us from they go out of their way to make them feel. So make them feel not just bad about themselves. But unsafe on a fucking dance in hicksville. It's it's it's so upsetting for so many reasons because it's like, you don't even know why you don't don't even know why you're picking on them. You don't even know this. It's this Long Island has an I'm sure a lot of towns conservative base towns and like not super liberal city centers. But it's that other ISM like it's a sounding different into Palestinian picks. And I'm not trying to take away from anyone's experience there. But it's just that Long Island attitude of like, we chose to hate you..