Bartolo Longo, Bartolo, Bartolome discussed on Savage Lovecast

Savage Lovecast


Mary looks like we've finally. Even the score are going gonna take a minute but bear with me. It'll be worth that. Promise bartolo longo was born into an italian catholic family in eighteen forty one. His parents were devout catholics and so was bartolo until he went to college at college. He fell in with a bad crowd as one does. But in his case are tolo fell. In with a group of mediums and spiritualists who claim they communicate with the dad and he eventually wound up in a satanic cult as one does and was ordained a satanic priest. But it didn't stick. Our tolo was anxious and depressed and a friend convinced him to talk to a priest a catholic priest satanic priest and after listening to this pres natter on for three weeks bartolome cracked he renounced satanism and embraced catholicism or embraced catholicism. And he's now a saint. A junior saint beatified by pope. John paul second. That was the pope. We thought god would send adults who had consensual sex to hell while he sent. Priesthood rape kids onto new parishes. Anyway bartolo took the name rosario because he was very into the rosary when he joined the dominican order making him the third most famous. Rosario in history after rosario dawson. The actress loved her top five looking forward to seeing her and clerks three and rosario gambino of the gambino crime family. You may be wondering why. I know so much about this guy then why i am bothering you with us this morning. Well bartolo is the patron saint of the anxious and the depressed. So if the mets aren't working you can try praying to bartolo longo. That's how it works for us. Catholics god does hear our prayers. But god is a busy guy and so you have to ingratiate yourself with saints in hopes that they will intercede for you with god put in a good word about you with god and then your prayers will be answered. It works every time except for all the times. It doesn't work which is most of the time. But that's not one bothering you at this and it doesn't work. Please don't go off your meds and start praying to bartolo longo. Don't do that. I know about this guy. Because of the date he joined the dominicans and changed his name to rosario the date he took vows and took holy orders. October seventh nineteen eighty-one ninety eight years later on october. Seventh nineteen sixty four. I was born in a catholic hospital on the north side of chicago coincidence. Not according to marry not according to the person who has been blowing up my inbox with emails about bartolo longo for fifteen years according to my pen pal mary who maybe a listener this october. Seventh business is not a coincidence. Bartolo taking holy orders. On the same day i was born a century later. It is a sign. A sign from. God that i am destined to return to the catholic faith assign that i will one day divorce. My husband or announced my sin. Put down the dick and live a life like bartolo dead. Another event of world historical proportions had happened on october seventh in one thousand nine hundred two on october. Seven cats opened on broadway. So my thing for lycra catsuits and but plugs with tales coincidence or dame by god anyway i was thinking about berthollet. Rosario longer this weekend the catholic saying to her announced satanism after reading about Novell goma the catholic bishop who left the priesthood to run off with a satanist in barcelona about that's a bit of an overstatement goma resigned to live in sin to cohabitate with a lady shrink who writes erotica with satanic. Themes just divorced. They're living together. They aren't married. he's blowing loads. She's cranking out dirty devil novels but wasn't just any catholic bishop. He was a high profile supporter of conversion therapy for gays and performed exorcisms to drive out those gay demons because the devil is real and demons are real but gay people are picking it so i wrote to my friend mary on sunday just to let her know that we've even score. You got bartolo. Rosario longo we got bishop xavier goma per now you could return to the fold returned faith but at the moment the former bishop is looking for a job in barcelona as an agronomist. Which a whole hell of a lot more useful to society that an exorcist also world is on fire democracy is in peril. People are losing their minds. Please do what makes you happy. Be a dominican fine with me water runoff with a woman who writes satanic pornography. Sounds good so long as what makes you. Happy isn't setting fires attacking democracy or blowing up at people in airplanes in supermarkets. Have at all right coming up..

Coming up next