Boston, Jessica, Don I discussed on Good For You
It was like I was cold coating my so everyone everyone is doing a little bit of. ASM are on the show. I think that's yours. That's my favorite one you to Jessica all the time in the studio and recorded not up Queens. I just play. That's my favorite. And she would hate it so much. I think the problem is I hate how much I like it. Yeah I think it's more that you know what I mean. That one is oddly. Sexual all right. I didn't feel about what I What else would that sound like old man eating soup? Oh you guys are terrorizing rising me. It's enough as I like that one. Do you watch them. No I know I know they exist. I appreciate the culture. It's a big thing that ESU thing. I'm trying to get one. I like the The scratching. I just like it when people listener people whispering one girl I was watching and I found myself falling in love with her. And I don't know why whisperings the worst thing you can do for your vocal chords right. I think that's true. I actually think that's I think whatever I do in my stand up it's the worst thing this pills for now. Taunting her something. I'M GONNA call myself out on. Is That I. Why sometimes try to boss people around by pretending to be helpful? I do that too. I'm bossy it's fine but it's yeah I bet you as someone who's now in charge of the people do you find yourself worrying about other people's feelings and how do you tell me how to do something with grace and elegance. Yeah submarine is I I. I Love self-help. Some Rina's book called radical candor Yeah it's a great book is all about like being a Boston workplace and like you know just getting your mind right and making sure career employees as well and like realizing you know like the first thing I realized once I started becoming a boss. Was that like you actually work for your employees just as much as they work for. You WanNa make sure they feel appreciated and your nutri mirror drains right and you know. I think a lot of times when people don't tell Benton up to you. I think a lot of times people get into our positions. They sort of lie to themselves. That Lake people are dying to work for you. But it's like you're paying. That's why they're here. That's correct like a man is a great assistant she's here hi Don I e Oh. You're not a volunteer uh-huh oh you don't just want to be here because you care it's not just your dream to watch her dreams. Come live audio. Well you know I asked her like order. My Sweet Green Salad doesn't want to do that right. She doesn't want to order my guacamole. Greens are paying her. That's right and so I think you have to understand that lake. You're not this. Treat to be around twenty four seven. Yes you know what I mean just realize you are also a person with your own flaws in your own ups and down I oh I think it allows you to sort of put yourself in the in. I used to be an assistant so I think you can put yourself in a position of your assistant or whoever your employees Louis is what their position is. I understand what they're going through in order to work for you. I'm glad you're saying this as I'm thinking about it as sometimes when I've ask for something like that and have felt weird like God. I feel like I'm Boston. Someone around I'm her and then I'll go like well. I had to do this or when someone you know when I'm to direct with someone or not communicate of enough with someone or not clear enough with someone I'm like well. No one was clear with me. I had to figure it out and I'd eat shit and then I'm like that doesn't mean should perpetuate this cycle. I came up under under. The idea is to be better than the bosses. I've had. Yes because sometimes rationalized my own behavior. Rubbing Liguori was fucking Shitty to me and I had to take a bunch of abuse. But that's not. Yeah yeah of course correct. Yeah of course and it's also like Like anything the more. It's actually I find because I remember this. Journalists was like following me around for something secure so nice to everybody and I was. I thought it was so sort of weird comment. What's going on out there? Number one number two actually being nice to people whatever that means is kind of selfish. It's like well everyone's better at their job. Yeah if they feel respected. It's also I don't like go to work every day and go. I'm going to respect everyone because that's completely against my instinct. You know what I mean but but it's also like you get better work out of everyone. Yeah they mean to people. You're actually just hurting yourself. Hey now and I think people don't understand like what I think. A LOT OF PEOPLE WANNA only be a boss. I get to tell everyone what to do. It's not what a bosses. Yeah you like. It's truly worrying about overhead. It's truly being leg checking in with each employee making sure they're feeling like you. I do feel like you're kind of like a parent in some way off and like these are like your kids and you're really just like I wanna make sure everyone's happy and good good and feeling good all the time and it's really. It's it's a little more exhausted. I thought I was going to be but I do enjoy it. I mean I think that a lot of people think if you know Being a boss means I have to boss everybody around telling them what to do all the time. If you get off on that I can't help you know you know gets your journey And but I think the the best bosses hire the best people and then leave them alone and let them do the. If you're telling someone what to do constantly all the time you've made a hiring mistake. Yes it's a it's a mismatch. Yeah and it's also so many people have so many different skills and talents off. You just get the fuck out of the way that's right and let them flourish and shine. They'll surprise is you in themselves and they can learn skills about themselves. That's right they can really do all these amazing things so it was like. Don't hinder someone so you can be like. My name is on the check check. No one cares. I also think it's really important that I thought being the boss Matt I have to know all the answers all the time. It's great it's actually the opposite. Yeah what do you you think. Yeah what do you think should happen. And then you hear else's idea and then your job is ultimately you have to make the decision. Yeah in be decisive but I realize like sometimes the boss is the person in the room talking the least yes took me so long to understand that really. Yeah yes okay. Yes took a couple of weeks. What was the whole up on this because those are secure that I think for the first time I had okay? This is the thing that I made so I have to know everything and have answers for everybody. and IT'S I. I thought my job was to do everyone's job and they're all doing here. So when you have Whitney Were you Kinda like that on the show where you were just kind of like well. It's also like a lot of pressure when it's like your show is named after you your lane and I gotta be involved. You know I was also so young and I was so scared and I was so dismore fiqh about what healthy working and looked blake. Because I didn't have mentors didn't have women to look up to. I never had sort of seen powerful women running things and my main priority back then was making sure everyone liked me and what I now know is if you want like you get them out at a reasonable time. Not You know what I mean so just be direct with them. I think most adult people don't want to beat around the bush in terms of feedback. They'd rather you just tell them what to do. So then they go home sooner. You Know I. I was so worried about hurting people's feelings for so long. No I mean I like this but I feel like you know what I like it. Yeah I do like which is like totally irresponsible. Communication totally fantasizing people that just kind of want to be told the truth booth assuming everyone was sensitive as I was or something you know and I think I also again. I thought that I had to make every decision. I didn't understand I and like oh I can delegate I can say well what do you think yeah and I can empower other people. I thought I was making their lives easier by doing their jobs and I wasn't. They were kind of just like confused and like what am I doing here. Yeah but it is. It is tough being a dream killer if you'd be like Oh no you can't do this or idea or a working on my talk show and there's something wrong I was. I was like Oh actually. Don't like any of these questions and I said until the show right incident to the right as I don't like these questions Let's do some more. And if folk kinda mean to be like. Oh I'm not loving these questions but it's also like we're only going to get to the good stuff you know. No one's kneeling it. All the time I it's you we we really joke yet to revise a bunch. So it's it's fine it's hand everyone's fine yep everyone can is an adult you know but I also think I put a lot of pressure on myself because in the beginning of any business any endeavor that you're doing any website you're starting you have to really make the target clear to be so if you are saying no. To people about things creatively creatively in the beginning. You have to tell them why you're saying no you know so that they can get better at their job. I think that's the biggest mistake I see a lot of people making by experience someone just like no and then you're like I don't know I don't even know what I'm pitching. I don't even know what the target is. You know you say in Benton I've probably been overly Liquicia in this area where I'm like. No and here's why do you think your boss and I feel like I was sometimes like overly and I never wanNA feel like. I'm micromanaging but to say like these questions on work for me because I just want to get to the root of it so then they go. Oh Great. That won't ever happen again. Most people just want to be good at their jobs. Most people feel pride you know and I think for me. I'm always trying to figure out. How can I have someone in this environment? Feel pride died when they leave every day. You know. Yeah that's great. That's I mean thinking that weighs like are you know you're good boss Joe. That was my idea. Whatever you know? And and And I I I think it's just the way you say it. I think it's just sort of like you can say no in a way that's graceful. I've started And I'm always always about sharing like tools that help how people just like you know I've been thinking about it in this doesn't work for me and here's why saying I've been thinking about. It just helps people know that you've been thoughtful about something and then you're not just like Willy Nilly like in the moment like nagging something. Yeah Yeah I've been thinking about you know have given us some top. That's how manipulative. No this House that's good. Yeah that's solid but just and here's why I think.