Rachel, MEG, Twenty Nine Percent discussed on Parenting Great Kids with Dr. Meg Meeker
Her do anything that she can to keep her feeling normal. Parents who I've seen who have chronically ill children that have worked in keeping their kids from having this poor me attitude and feeling that they're that someone's feeling sorry for them. All the time. Our parents who really continued to do everything normally with the child, and when I say that I'm not just talking about activities. I'm talking about discipline. I'm talking about restrictions. I'm talking about you know, she acts up that you have these same expectations for your daughter that you do for any other children. And that's the best thing that you can do to keep her from having a poor me attitude. It really is important that your husband not treat her differently than the other kids. I e not give her too many toys because he is treating her like he really feels sorry for her. So I encourage you to sit down and talk to one another and say, what can we do to communicate? Our daughter that we don't feel sorry for her that we feel towards her just like we do all the other kids, and again talked your pulmonologist about real risk and how to avoid very serious risk and let the rest go. Here's another question from Rachel their doctor. Meg I'm in a bind with my sons. They need discipline rules and limits, they often tell me that dad says something and its ally. And I have to be extremely careful not to bad mouth him the courts granted me sole legal custody. But he still has twenty nine percent of their time. My ex husband has contacted people to have me killed any turns everything against me. And the boys believe what he says they only partly obey when they obey me. And my first line of discipline is sending them to bed early. The second line of discipline is with electronics and screens. I need an effective discipline to deter them from getting into arguments with me over things they. Don't need to be a part of. I was told by a psychologist with boys in the room that I can shut them down and teach them to not engage with me. And it's wrong that I don't tell them everything. Their father still has the power of control and knows how much he uses the boys to control me the boys. Tell me I'm selfish for having the majority of their time. But the truth is it would be selfish. I gave them up and disappeared for my safety. I'm the parent that isn't interested in only being their friend and letting them be in charge. The court order parenting class tells you not to talk to your children about certain things we did move over the summer, and I know it's a change, but parents should help their children, not cause more pain. But my ex husband won't stop. And he's trying to take them away. From me. It's heartbreaking that my boys. Just don't wanna be with me. Rachel you're in a very tough situation. First of all, it's your safety and your boy safety is of. Utmost importance now, it's really important that you seek out legal help to the police and your lawyer and the courts about the threats that your husband has made to your physical safety if he's made those threats towards the boys as well. And I wouldn't be surprised if he does because people that make those threats against a previous loved one can easily do them against a child as well. So that's really important, and you need some sound advice from the law and the legal system. Secondly, the fact that your boys don't wanna be with you is a result of their father, really manipulating them. And he's doing this obviously to drive them away from you. There isn't much you can do about his manipulation of the boys. The most important thing is to remain steady and constant presence in their lives. You need to keep healthy discipline.