Yale University, Dr Judy, Johnson discussed on Dr. Judy WTF



Then your parents ever were to you so in your tastes I would say. Stop the bleeding. which she did? Which means you to remove yourself from destructive people? Then then you have to recognize your pattern to get involved with people who are needy codependent and Argh only on you and potentially bleed you out in vampire you and then you've got to put in the good stuff which is now. I'm going back down to panel number eight. Which is the encoding coating panels? So did she. She did she steal your childhood. Ya I would say and now what are you GonNa do about it. So this is where we begin to be the cause of better outcomes To our lives as panel seven eight. Nine after you've done the work and then you can shift out of the old dynamics and recode yourself so in your case I would say pay attention to recoding by being able to have fun and play time and just act silly and be childish and Nurture yourself and be around people. Oh who take care of you once in a while and have people Take Care of you and learn how that feels because one other thing that happens is that you don't know how to take can love because he'd been giving giving giving giving get it and there's no opportunity to take in love I'm glad you're going through the mind map system. I love it I absolutely love it. Thank you your joy. It's I'm sorry it's a pure joy to me. Yeah I mean there. There's been very painful. I've cried so much stuff but I'm not numb like I I've spent my. I was so numb before I always freeze in my emotions in order just to kind of smush them away in sublimate them because I had so much to take care of outside of me right and so oh now. You're not smashing your emotions. Oh I'm motion. I way better way better. I'm so happy to hear for that and And and so just keep going through the process and write about panel number six as you know. is the process of removing the psychological poison through truth conversations and so Be Very very liberal in the exercises that I present in the mind map video series which by the way is available to everyone you can purchase the mind map video series I absolutely legit and panel. Fix was very difficult for me but getting through it to seven was a game changer. For my whole life and see the the thing is not not to sound like a cheap salesman but at the risk of sounding like a cheap salesman a lot of people spend thousands Johnson thousands of dollars on therapy and go through years months and years of therapy and in unless you have a system of of healing that really goes straight for the cause see. This kind of therapy is not a talk therapy model. It's not let's come And talk about your problems and And and tell me how your day was. This is not a treatment plan. A treatment plan is going deep into do the wounds of childhood how they embedded in you how to deconstruct them in how to morph into health. So this is a psycho educational the process and one of my goals is to get this into school system so if anybody has connections with the school system I think children children need it because There are a lot of children out there who don't have ideal parents and their self esteem of affected and infected and the quicker they can learn. How childhood wounds impacts them and encodes into their negative core belief? The more of a chance we have that they will not carry the load load of these horrible And destructive thoughts about themselves So just keep going over it even if you have to go so over and over and comb through your feelings. The main thing is that. You're not numbing thumb and the main thing is my favorite line in my book is is a quote by Einstein which is smart people solve problems in geniuses prevent them so the mind map is away to predict what could happen. If you don't set up your life in a healthy way because if you if you don't recognize your patterns you're doomed. Mm To repeat them if you don't recognize the childhood wounds that lead to the patterns and heal that deep level than you're going to turn them into implosion explosions and psychological symptoms and physical symptoms and Soma ties them because the the body and the mind are connected. So you already know this because you've lived it and you're doing the work and as a result You have a much better chance not picking people in the future that are going to bleed you and use you and abuse you and I'm confident about that. For the first time I totally trust myself and I actually I lived in a lot in relation. And I'm less isolated than I've ever had because I know I won't be tempted to reenact. Let's say something unconsciously you know what I mean like I know it's it's it's this this mind map series articulates for me what I always needed and always wanted that I could never articulate because I didn't know what it was consciously Johnson in writing. Yeah because it's all unconscious and I know we have another call in some GonNa give this okay of gifts to me and I really really thank you so so much. Is Your your mind map and reading your blogs and and and And this here tonight so thank you. You're very welcome. Thank you union. Okay good night take care good night and okay so I think Hopefully everyone out there is getting this horrible system gone wrong and I know we have another caller. Hi you are on the couch. Hi Dr Judy it Dr Capping. Hi How are you. Oh I've been talking to you. Yes and it's just a little background. Dr Kathy called me today and you're a an assistant professor. Yes clinical and clinical professor at Yale University and so impressed. I'm so impressed US Yale University okay and medical staff at Yale newhaven hospital do therapy okay. which is very much watch psychoanalytic psycho dynamic therapy and you know that last caller? What a beautiful story that she understands how much it affects for Life Ice Herenton by child and I wanted to share that you know in my practice and my work at Yale with patients that I can see the also this epidemic of fathers and daughters and how seductive the role is when a daughter is young young there so you know they they just love their daddies and they want to make an impression and their daddies might not be getting what they need from their wives? Yup Yep so that the daughter becomes this all important you know when the child is that important to be there for their daddy in a way that is apparent because their mother can't be there upslope various reason has just derailed the old their lives. I've seen outta lessons that they can't even stay in college because they're so worried about their daddies wealthier. They had seen like young women. That are just caretakers. Lost their sense of self because they have developed up to roll your entire life to take care of an adult it was such an important role sport role. They stay with them their whole life. They even and go into helping professions. Not In a healthy way while this is something that. I'm glad you're sharing because it's not on this little checklist of what I read it often. You're absolutely right. There's another form of parental child where that child becomes the wifey of the father or the or the sun becomes the little husband. And that's just maybe a whole `nother show and this highly impacts persons sexuality through -ality correct and and maybe they become very provocative and then they have to deal with the jealous mother or the jealous father her and it creates a whole nother spiral down and and and I'm so glad you brought it up and most importantly as as we were talking on the phone this this early evening I was telling you that I. I don't think my colleagues like me very much because I do things at ten sessions. The people take months and years and by the way as you know. This is a cycle analytic model. It's just that I happened to ask the questions quickly. Don't wait for years ears tasks somebody were. You sexually abused where you physically abused were you. Were you smothered. Were unique. Let let's get it out there quickly. WHY SPEND YEARS SO I? I can't tell you what one thing Dr Judy. There's so many it's amazing to me that after years and a years of therapy of some of the patients in this psychoanalytic group that I do. They don't even realize that they played this role whether it's a parental child or they it was like I say it was so seductive in a way that when your child and your that important to your parents Karen You don't feel that you've carried that caretaking role in such an extreme way in your life that you're the target for a narcissist absolutely lutely at target. Right that is that is called grooming. Right is out the room to be that person you tell me to jump and jumped so high. Just tell me how and I'll please you know until you burn out but the narcissist getting in a caretaker who will just mold to their needs. It's a perfect storm. No it's the perfect storm eventually but in the beginning it's natch made in heaven and you know the sad thing is an I put it this way to my patients is every child wants to please the parent and if the parent has has a hole in their soul. There's no amount of love that you can pour into the vessel that all fence route this beautiful A A fountain of love. It just doesn't happen that way. Unfortunately your poke your pouring your love into a vessel. That's just sucking you dry and Dan taking you down in depleting your energy. And that's what I define as narcissism system gone wrong where instead of the parents it's putting their children I they become number one and their needs become more important than their children. I WanNa know your your your opinion from a psychoanalytic point of view if you would concur with that definition because there's so many definitions of narcissism out there. Oh yes no. I absolutely absolutely concur. And then this other piece for the parental child dynamic with mom and dad is this piece of the parent. That's paying contention to the child and the child that's meeting the need of a parent now. The other parent is tremendously jealous. DOTS it as nationally Ashley with the centralized dynamically you were describing right. What is the parent going to think? And so many times in my office. Yes I hear comments like you know my my mother. embarrassed me in front of my boyfriend because my mother wanted to know that she was is prettier. Or sexier you know. What kind of conversation is this? Right is this Right and in a mother and the mother acting out. oftentimes I can be that the that the daughter might be getting a lot of attention from the Father Right. The Mother Act out in front of her friend. So I wanNA know what's going on at Yale. Yale is a top notch university in New Hampshire correct Connecticut in New Haven Connecticut. And what is what is the current way of thinking. So we know. There's cognitive behavioral behavioral therapy medication management is behavioral. There's DBT above. I am into minority. Okay W. above everything you just said it's a very nedical model. It is trey is diagnosis. It is medication it is. CBS maybe yeah it's behavioral a DVD for. There's a very strong DVD program. That I know is very very effective for borderline when I was I was covering for a while for some of the Sessions that that director of the program had some medical issues. And when I did and I started asking.

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