Pamela Atlit, Jessica, Katie discussed on Anna Faris Is Unqualified
Hey dear listeners. Today's guest is the amazing actress screenwriter producer and director Pamela. Adlon who you probably know from King of the Hill California -cation Louis and her award-winning better things. Before we begin the episode. I want to tell you how grateful I am. For All of your letters and feedback. I always knew. The unqualified community was comprised of some really cool and amazing people. And you continue to prove it to me so here are two of your letters the first Jessica to Katie who he called with fortune teamster Katie. Im you or should. I say I was you when I was nineteen. I got engaged to my high school boyfriend behind. Closed doors are sex. Life was mediocre the Household Chores. Were incredibly one-sided me doing everything and his lack of maturity was obvious. I was so blinded by the ring on my finger and a new last name that I ignored. All of these signs also ignored the warnings of my family my friends bridesmaids even my maid of honor told me. I shouldn't do it that I listen. Of course not I got married at twenty soon. I resented him the house we bought in our marriage entirely. I hated being around him. Hated it all. I finally pulled the plug in filed for divorce after a year and a half. He seems surprised saying that. I thought we were so happy. Like on unfortunate said if both of you put in the effort maybe you can turn things around. But be wary. It's hard I'd recommend holding off on the wedding to give yourself time to figure out if he can make things right or if you should leave the relationship you'll feel so much better in the long run. My Ex husband would always say things like Oh in twenty years this won't matter and I would cringe. Twenty years with him sounded dreadful. Should have listened to myself and to everyone close to me who knew. I wasn't happy before the I do. Katie my love and best wishes on this endeavor. It is so hard to be in those shoes. I will say I am now happily married to someone else and we have two beautiful children. It gets better and it can be easy all my love to you on a. Unfortunately you guys are amazing. And congratulations on your engagement on a love Jessica. Thank you so much Jessica. This next letter is from Donna. Who writes hi ANA and Cassie? I spoke to you guys and Whitney in early December about my relationship of three years and how I was ready for the next step but it seemed like he wasn't well he proposed loves note. Thank you so so much for your advice to be open and talk about marriage and Our Future. It got the ball rolling for US and here we are engaged. Much love to you all hope to hear from you soon. Hugs and kisses Donna. Thank you Donna. Thank YOU JESSICA. And thank you dear. Listeners I truly love you guys. Please help the unqualified community. Grow by sending US your questions. Your answers in your stories. Just go to our website unqualified dot com and now here is Pamela Atlit Ladies and gentlemen you're listening to qualify on a fair sir. Somebody asked me about good luck. Charms of you know and things like that. I really try not to get attached to objects or anything like that and I try to get the superstitious things out of my head but if somebody says the name from his play I'm like get the fuck out of the building. Go outside turn around three times. Don't come back in until you do it and hey dear listeners. Pamela just kicked out the team like right before we started recording to give me step parenting advice. Which was Pretty Rad? 'cause she did it in the sweetest way. I mean it wasn't that she was just like okay. Everybody leave everybody out everybody out. We gotTA talk and I want to be in a place in life where it's like. I'm friendly I'm cool. I'm nice but get out some there smiling. Yeah first of all better things. It's such a fucking good show. Thank you I like it too. I drank my own Kool aid. Will you should. Because it's fucking brilliant. Thank you I was thinking today. About how every day? I wish I had a better vocabulary because finding the right word is sometimes difficult but I know this is what I tell my writers. What don't use the word amazing. But that's what they do yet because they have such they don't they can only use sixty words so if you give somebody something if you give them like a little goal a little discipline let me try to use any other word but amazing or incredible awesome right. There's a lot I can't think of any right now but I love the how the genre bleeding your show is. It's like genre blending blending may are tonal shifts in your show that happen abruptly that are you know very true to life that are jarring in the best of ways. It's a challenging show to watch because it's historical and it's he sees the word poignant. I like poignant. Okay thanks to my love. Poignant I liked to have feelings a you know. I'm somebody who just I love the way a song can move you or you know colors make you feel or just walking outside today. Today is the best day all of La in February is the greatest thing in the world. I live for the cool air and then the sun and it's just you know you're in a magical place and so I love that feeling so for me it's all about all the different feelings that I can instill in the show and when you say my shows a comedy you're not doing it as service because it's not a comedy. Your shows a comedy but it's poignant. It was so hard for me when I moved to Los Angeles in one thousand nine so I I didn't near two thousand one because you did king of the hill. Yeah I truly think I had two lines gyms and jellies are really liked those lines. It's fun to say jams and jellies jams when you took off. I was like I know her. I'll that's sweet. Yeah the idea of like the separation of comedy and drama felt like it just didn't quite understand why there were only two lanes felt like in that world. Well it's just labels it's just labeled and I feel like that's what the world is struggling with right now they just don't WanNa have labels anymore. Yeah okay I was thinking yesterday. I wanted to talk to you about specifically because we're in the industry and we're like over forty the of jealousy and I was thinking about how one of the Nice things I've noticed about getting older. Is that either. I don't have the energy or the mental capacity to be as jealous as I used to be that of other women. That's usually where my jealousy comes from like when I clock see it's usually another woman or you know some and usually somebody in our profession and I think I would. I'd love that role or or wise. This thing agitating me would feel somewhat arash irrational way. And I don't like that you know it's it's this other thing that's having control. It makes you feel powerless. And that sucks. What's your relationship women in general or friends or do you have eighths totally changed for me in terms of you know kind of coming out of this. K- whole of three daughters for the past twenty almost three years. You know. It's exactly that so. There was a point a few years ago where I kinda was like a weight I have friends and I just. This village became a part of my kids. I was sharing my kids with my friends and my friends with them. And that's that's my love life like just really enjoying. I'm usually enjoying it enormously. Because the thing is I have a lion in my show this season. And you'll see it when you see it but I say women need to be brothers to each other one hundred percent completely and I kinda really got into women and my female friendships in my life. And it's up to us to adjust if you immediately have an allergy to somebody and you're like Oh okay this bitch you know you have that feeling but the reality is it's you so if somebody's like a know it all or if somebody's you know irritating or something like that feel like. I've failed if I haven't made that work but some people you just you just can't you know what I mean. It's not for everyday use. You can't be around them too much. I was watching an interview that you did think it was Jimmy. Kimmel and you you talked about. You know being fifty. I was thinking about this because you talk about AIDS in a way I was thinking about how we betray each other with our shame of age. A bit like. Yeah so anyway. I'm trying to give you a roundabout compliment that I loved how you're like. This is my life. Well I remember being obsessed with the fact that I had to get my birth age off of IMDB because they literally it was just like a fucking conspiracy to just bury everybody with our birthdays. It really was a nightmare and the age shaming was crazy and anybody who's lake over forty or in their fifties or whatever we were in a frenzied panic to cover our age up so much so that when I turned fifty. I didn't even realize that I was fifty. I'd been lying about my age for so long and then the fucking Internet told me I was fifty and I was like. Oh Shit and it's funny because I noticed that I started to lose my neck. My jaw line started to disappear the second. I got my own show unlike. Look through the camera. I'm like what the fuck is happening right now. When I need the JAL line God dammit. Oh but the exciting thing is look at Jeannie Berlin who is in succession and she's in hunters. The new Jordan Peele show. It's like now it's cool. Now you're we're we're embracing it and once you stop fighting it once you say. Oh I'm not going to get talks or or whatever you just do. Whatever makes you feel okay completely. We tied at one hundred foot when I'm one hundred four. Yeah like Oh my God. You're hundred four. Yeah you look great. Yeah that's what I want to hear. It and you're spry is fuck. Yeah I just lose. Yeah exactly what's the thing where the horses dance a Cirque Du Soleil? I just took up horse dancing with the Cirque Ami Tammy come join me dressage. Just yes buck. Yeah Yeah I'm dancing with the okay to get back to your show because it's so raw in so reflective it's difficult to define so smart and you've been very honest performer for a long time. Now were there moments that felt like. Oh this scene like afterwards that you felt a degree of liberation or like. I was really good there well. I never felt that you know. I never really studied because my mom she. She told me this story the other day that she's told me fifty million times. It doesn't make me want to drive my car into a brick wall anymore. But it's because I have a show and I made a character of my mom and so now I just look at her and I go. Oh this is funny. This shit is funny but my mother said to me the other day because we have a friend staying over with us from Copenhagen. And your mom's your neighbor. My mother is my neighbor. The lady next door. You're the landlord. I'm the landlord so threaten eviction all the time we get some like creepy notes that you just need to start putting on been on the true but she said that I went and I got a meeting with Beverly. Heck choose my first agent and I just I opened the phone book and I got her name and number out and I sat my parents down. I was eleven years old and I said I gotTA meeting with an agent. I really WANNA act. I WANNA get an agent and my mother took me and she had me read a tide commercial sides for tied commercial and she comes outside she says to my mother never let it take an acting lesson. I love that sweet. Which is I'm reading about Ethel Merman right now and it just said in the book that they said it was like a big studio heads. Said never take a singing. So there's something to be said about like there's something natural totally. They didn't accept that as a compliment till later. I didn't I didn't know that she said that to my mom but I think I coulda used some less than did you see me. On the facts lively robbing Mrs Garrett. Oh the scope of the career tied commercial. I know I should mockup sides but what was your first job. Then by first job was a Mexican pudding. Commercial called Donny. Pudding and it wasn't approved by the FDA and so we had to do it in Spanish. He not kidding. I wore the dress I wore to my brother's bar..