Israeli what got longer longer periods between seven coming into my mind. Sorry yeah it was a long process but very very worthwhile on. That is powerful. Because people all say i need closure. There's i don't think there's ever closed complete closure. I felt like to you. Know when you've only heard something and then it's kinda like Yeah in your mind. There's a million different scenarios. I keep going on and and maybe you're watching a tv show and see something and tv shows that. I wonder if that happened. Or you know what i mean but when you know or at least have that that that bodycam footage and lisa gives you that final the final but you know the just help a book back together process. So let's get to the doctor's now. Your doctor is now telling you to take these tablets. So let's get done the ptsd but you're still. There's still things going on. Okay i got to go to my doctor. Now what's what is the dogs are saying now. So this is the thing people talk about you. now it's going to be emotionally physically able done enough. You've been through so somebody very close to you. You actually fading realize the great fuss physically and for me. That emotional stress. I was fading came out. A form of chronic stomach aches and really by migrants in the sense. That speech. And i i went to the doctor just to get some medication for the for the bad stomach and for the headaches he said to me. He gave me some advice he did. He gave me the medication. He gave me a prescription for it but he said to me as well if you've been active person which had been united score. Never they big part of my life. If you've stopped going to the gym you need to get academic because all of these things happening of bill stressful minds in your body giving them a release it just and that's why last what's happening. My co founder. Ephraim when he lost his son afghanstan he shot out. He was the strong on. He went back to read quickly. They didn't cry. Do anything i mean. There was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He's absolutely convinced that was result. Not eric stressed body couldn't take why he was going through. And that's what happens if you don't deal with your emotional stress. It comes in a physical way. Got sorry yeah but the doctor said to me description. Depression and i was kind of like well. I know why depressed surely these poor people are suffering depression. Don't know why the press right right just the age you know about awful clinical depression. I know why the president. I feel a should be actually feeling. The pain is putting a validation enough. I had my wife. So i wanted to feel it. I didn't so it. Just as i said the tablets gave me were just not why for me. They may work but people you need to try. United i'm jan. But if you don't finish bryan you've done better than you. D ron body. Now that's amazing insight that you right before you even took the took the medication or the prescription. The inside of wait a minute i am. I should be the press. Like i know why i am like so no. I don't wanna feel it all the time. But i actually know. Try see what goes on right away. It was like there's no way. I can continue. Like comedy describe heightened allows time. I felt like that was after a soccer match. I just go sucker was really dehydrated. And i didn't drink enough fluids. After the next i woke up and i could be heavy and us wandering around. The house was not how the i saw the tablist. Might we failed is really heavy. Legs of not really properly. Yeah yeah i mean for sure. And i was gonna ask you if you were if you were healthy or fit or or play sports or or this happened and you said yes you did which is which is which is i think for for people. Listening is is important because as we get older like. I said we need to be an and the best health we can because we will be. These things will not way happened to you but these things will happen. It will lose people very close to us. We will lose people and we need to be able to have a the resources first of all be as healthy as we can to deal with whatever it is and then have the resources to fall back on after everything you know the first month or two weeks or whatever after it's done so were you had. That fitness was great. Also you know the the other thing about other you talked about. Was the group sessions. Mike New guys definitely guys. Don't like group sessions. You know that it's kind of like a pride thing right like oh. I don't want to sit in a in a room. Full of guys or people who i don't know and here i am showing my weakness. I'm in recovery right For for many years. And for me. When i first went to the the rooms You know it was. It was weird but now like i've been recovery for a while when clean for a while so. It's no biggie for me. I enjoy sharing. I enjoy like when. I love it because it just i know that i. I'm getting off. But i'm also helping others and it's not again. It's not like surrender. Is a the big word. But it's not surrendering in the negative way at surrendering and turning to something that i have no control over. Which for me was addiction for other people. It could be the ptsd or emotions happen. So that's good to surrender to that. So you can open up your your mind and everything says other things so the groups the group thing is important. We'll touch on that after you started to work out more now like now. You're into the gym training and you're feeling good is that what's going on. Strength feel so starting to feel about it in kovacs every ira number of months and months and but the training started to help me focus on the training bravo oven sky on in the rest of my life so i was able to put together a plan. You know foyer. While i was in the gym focusing on that decided i wasn't necessarily thinking about everything else going on in my life. I was just enjoying the training. But if i wait wait apartment. I was trying to pump out. Start to just talk to them without realizing. Because i was focusing on next size. I was china and the end of the session. I'd say so glad you told me not and so worried about you would you. What what what what. You've been talking a law because he's obviously strike good better so again. It was just that being able to focus on the exercise brought bama barriers and my woes. And i forgot why was doing and it was just amazing dude on especially when i was doing out. Dole's for ramadan country lanes. Oh just going on. Some hill fell running back with a friend. I would just really aren't out. I think it was paul. Being always beautiful surroundings you'll know yourself you drive to these nature valleys or wherever. He's papa call get out shot. The door is like a huge black station. Comes aby and yugoslav some place in canada. Obviously by some week also beautiful. Is it here too. So that's what we do. We strongly type people to.