Santa, Jesse Thorn, Travis Griffin discussed on Bullseye with Jesse Thorn

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

It's bull's eye Jesse Thorn. It's our annual Bullseye. A holiday spectacular this week when the holidays roll around. We love to get some pertinent advice from our friends the mcelroy brothers just stained travis and Griffin are the hosts of the smash it. podcast my brother my brother and me right here. At maximum fund they have joined me from their various disparate points across across this great nation Travis Griffin Justin. Welcome back to the show. Nice to have you thank you so much you I treasure my favorite Christmas tradition We've been doing it since we were toddlers. Actually Jesse a teenager would come into our home. That's right he's fifty five years old he would come home. Yes ask us for holiday advice. I mean imagine I I. It's been my holiday tradition for many years to travel the nation gathering questions for this even back when I was a team name. Yes that's why they call them. Jesse questions seeds travel the countryside collecting questions. Here's something from. I didn't keep the receipt so I got my boyfriend Polaroid camera for Christmas and it's already neatly wrapped underneath the tree however today. He told me he's planning to buy that same camera camera for himself. How do I convince him not to buy the camera without letting it slip that that's what I got him Last year I thought to get my wonderful awful niece Charlie. This little kids camera so I called my older brother Justin. Justin does she have this and he said no of course not and then when we arrived did their home for Christmas she totally did So now it's going to be a future present for my daughter so maybe you could re gift this camera to somebody somebody else or I don't know just say like hey don't buy that because Santa That's the traditional approach. Yes don't buy anything because SANA have you guys tried tried using the Santa excuse with your romantic partners. Unfortunately Santa can't bring the one thing. My wife wants for Christmas which she got her a little note to Santa Right here. It says she wants just like a second. Please just one second. And you've only got to read Justin. We have two two children which is so many try upgrading by fifty percent. My friend now Jesse. I can't repeat your mistakes. That's why the older generation is there for my generation Asian to learn from them. You've seen that movie misery. That could be a great solution. As problem boyfriend down his legs exist doesn't go bipolar but griffin you forgetting about one thing Amazon dot com also. He kills her at the end. I guess you're forgetting about two things things. Yeah Return. The camera get a tiny scanner so they can make those pictures relevant to this year in which we live twenty eighteen. Ad No no but just in. What if the question asked returns the camera and gets a tiny scanner but then the boyfriend doesn't buy a camera and instead I guess also gets a tiny tiny scanner? Oh Henry okay. Here's something from all. I want for Christmas tunes in Texas. I love Christmas. Machines Zun Polaroid camera and I hope they got the wood grain. I love Christmas music and I broke out my Christmas playlist at twelve o one. AM on November first this year. Wow my girlfriend however it is not like Christmas music because she's worked in retail for so along and had to hear it all day every day during the Christmas season. How do I convince her to get on board or at least to tolerate my Christmas jams? I have have found if you are willing to dig a little deeper. There's a great movie about this called Jingle Bell rocks about the vast loads of Christmas music that have not become wildly overplayed over the years. And if you did a little deeper. There's some fantastic Christmas music holiday music. Well however you want to slice it that is out there that has not been just like done to death. That's still very excellent. It's just like knock completely one thousand percent overplayed like like some of the classics asks. The director of that film is passed bull. I guess you can listen to a past Bullseye holiday special to hear you. Jessie just like one segment without that. Come on come on what I want for Christmas less wild self promotion I want. I want you to be mindfully president in this segment. Thank like you. I'll tell you what they're not blasting over the PA.. Barnes and noble is traditional. Nearly Ancient Christmas hymns give some of those going in there. I'm talking about these five stanza babies you can also good deeper into the the classics to get some of the virtues is that maybe we don't always get to dear. This is an actual verse. I was recently reading Larisa Jingle Bells this is an actual verse. Oh it gets wild a day or two ago the story I must tell l.. I went out on the snow and all my back I fell a was riding by a one horse open sleigh. He laughed as there. I sprawling lie but quickly drove away. What uh-huh cruel America's funniest home video in the middle of Jingle bells all these years and nobody anyways merry Christmas that's how Dr Atkins Diet? That's not funny. It is the justice kind of ooh. Here's something from Santa's future stepson. Was Mommy Really Kissing Santa Claus or was it just their partner dressed as Santa. Last last year I listened to the holiday classic. I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and had a realization that the reason daddy didn't see Mommy tickle. Santa was because Daddy was Santa. When I brought my findings to my friends they said I was wrong and it really was Santa that Mommy had smooch above his beard so snowy white who is Mommy Kissing Santa Real and a home wrecker or his? Mommy just into Santa play. I think kidding no I can't say definitively whether Daddy is Santa but I think we can all agree Santa is daddy thank you. Griffin has hit upon the possible symbol. Third option here. Santa Claus is Your Dad Song. Oh this saying internet sex way but sexy. See all manner there in a sexual manner. That's possible San is a major daddy. We can all agree on this. There's no argument here. I'm saying the song from the perspective of a Fred Claus Orin Arthur Christmas and Arthur Christmas. Thank you travis. Who finds out that he is in fact Santa's son? Oh okay okay. Here's the pitch I call the movie. I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Boy doesn't know his father's father's never been around. Oh what's that his father. Santa Green Light Green Light Green. Green light on thinking Fifteen Mil Get back to me and let me know what you think was green light. Green light green light a series of green lights and different media. Yes ask film. Television full motion video gaming. It was filmed television at McDonald's toys. Did you all know that a live action version of this. This film was adapted in two thousand. Two starring Connie CELICA and Corbin Bernsen. Swear God they did a whole movie. Eight blows my mind to even consider that this on that it's not the person dies after a boy seabed in Santa Claus suit kissing his mother. He thinks the real set of wants to replace father so he goes to prank war with them. How does that last longer? Go say one prank. Are you kidding me. That's a verse of the Song. I hadn't heard. Yeah Man I will say this Santa Claus when he does his job in your house makes himself vulnerable pretty much the entire time. He's in there. Yeah I mean his ingress is a pit pit of fire. There's a lot of easy ways to kill Santa. I've thought about this a lot. Strange note to end on. But here's something I'm from distressed in DC last year when flying home. I was stopped airport security because I had a wrapped gift in my carry on bag after they're being cleared as no threat to national security. I remarked to my girlfriend that it was weird. They stopped me for that. She said everyone knows. You can't bring a wrapped gift through security ready. I disagree my question is why aren't wrapped gifts allowed. Surely they can still see through them with their x ray machines emphasis mine. I'm not using lead lined gift. Wrap please help me understand so I can put this behind me are they checking are are they checking the wrapped gift carry carry on. They explicitly do say that. Okay good I mean this is the same sort of organization that thinks the pouches of Apple. Sauce I try to bring onto. The plane is actually two guns. So let's not start bringing reason into it now. I think the reason that the. PSA doesn't like it is they see and they think. Oh.

Coming up next