Nico Twitter, Nico Tortorella, Bethany discussed on Nightline



Good evening thank you for joining us no dow marriage can be complicated for actor and activist Nico Twitter Rela a most unconventional relationship is challenging labels. Here's what nightline co anchor Juju Chang today Bethany and I both identify as non binary and prefer they've been pronounce actor Nico Tortorella and Bethany see Myers are a uniquely modern bolt my wife my husband my best friend my partner everything both are gender fluid their marriage poly-amorous review finding what it means to be husband and wife in layman terms it's not man not woman all man or woman it's all laid out indicas new book space between a place they say where people who don't consider themselves he or she can call their own and tell me the pronouns that you pronouns referred all pronouns are welcome and I may screw it up if I mess it up along the way it's still working progress for everyone I still mess up sometimes to what's the point of pronouns for me they them fully encompasses all of it that exists in my own multidimensional dynamic being right it's it it it just feels more inclusive it feels wider Nico also revealing their painful struggles with coming out and facing their dark battle with alcohol when I started having access to the party to the celebrity to the free everything it got out of control like it does for so many people in this industry thirty-one-year-old Nico found fame playing the hyper masculine tattoo artist Josh on TV land's hit show younger who causes six o'clock in the morning portraying Lyle Menendez in lifetimes blood brothers and in the upcoming spin off of AMC's looking dead Niko plays a queer character battling Zombie apocalypse should be scared every time on the red carpet Nico often makes a splash with mild gender-bending outfits to be okay with to get into this situation here at their upstate New York home their sanctuary Niko in Bethany employees but why get married because it seems to me a very traditional all social construct for two very untraditional people I knew that when he became having a foundation and a family foundation that this was the person for me to do it with when it comes to know visiting each other the hospital God forbid that ever happens when it comes to bring children into the world when it comes to health insurance system was was built for reason it's what works for them and all Bethany and Nico are deeply committed to each other they also each have multiple sexual partners Paulie hours some people think just means having group sex but that's not what this is it's the ability to create space for more than one person at any given point how could you not pay jealous you're not a jealous person like I've never seen anything like that sometimes I'm like get You Bet Jealous Flint jealousy is something that I often have to practice and severi normal human emotion that's Great Sean Meco and Bethany is under additional love story began as teenagers in art school in Chicago when Nico developed a crush Nico very much to me and I did not Lake Nico at first I remember talking to one of my friends and being like I don't know who this person is and they kind of annoy me but they're going to be in my life forever you we talk about where you come from culturally and how that is a place where you've had to deal with some backlash backlash resistance and I'm from Missouri Small Town pretty conservative raised very traditional why was raised knowing that if you're gay you go to hell I mean that was kind of the only thing that knew Nico also struggled growing up in working class Italian family I always knew that I was different I think when I first realized that even homosexuality was an option I saw it on TV I would like go down in the basement and watch queer as folk and delete it from the queue because they didn't want my parents knowing that I was watching it with leaving home in the Midwest Nico came into their own and with finding fame came a greater sense of purpose when you walk the runway with the Harry destined full beard whereas that's a lot hyper masculine female political I mean it's not just throwing out address I'm having fun it's to prove a point and I look good in address so what's the problem I have a certain privilege that people do not have wearing a dress as activists for me while Nikos fame has given them a platform it's also been a double edged sword your very candid about your substance abuse and how rock bottom it gods yeah once you're just like alone drinking alone doing drugs own your completely numb to it all it gets really scary you know gets really lonely you described Ashton Kutcher intervening twenty one years old living in New York City everyone was partying and I had gone ask him for some advice and he was like don't put up your nose we were all drinking we were a I got into his face he was like your high right now I was highs so you feel like you're invincible and we started going at it didn't get physical it could of before quitting alcohol alarm bells we're also going off at home with breath amee there is days when I was like he had a day together let's just be like sober today let's let's not party you know let's go like being in the sunshine than Nico turned around and grabbed bottle of vodka out of the freezer and started drinking and I was like Oh you can't and that was really scary moment for me how is your sobriety today great still I speak of my sobriety as fluid like the rest of who I am mackall that was the one thing that really was the devil so I gave up alcohol still smoke weed still use cannabis things that I found most refreshing about your book was the way that you paint your mother's evolution right her transition eh alongside your transit when you quote her early on its phobic yeah there's some gnarly stuff in there for sure but that was the language I feel like for so much of that generation he goes mom any joining us looking back on that first time she saw her son and address here at New York's fashion week I'm like are you kidding me I mean like at one point does it stop right where's the line and I've realized there is life you start drawing lines then you're putting a box what would you say to other moms out there whose kids may be exploring sexuality and gender engender was more important for me to have the love of my son I who am I to judge who he loves who he doesn't love ah he loves everybody and over the years those lessons learned from Nico became part of Annie's every day how did you get to be friends with so many queer people in Florida it started with my hairdresser as it does any now surrounding herself with members of the LGBTQ plus is community like her son Trans masseuse gay hairstyle in the lesbian doctor husband and wife mother grandson on their separate paths but bound by respect and an abiding love you said a lot of things to Nico I'm sure he said plenty have choice things back when you look back on it now what do you think I wanna say I wish I could do it all over again I can't change the past I can change today he's he's changing today for so many people he's done it for me he's helped you change you are thanks Ju Nicos Books Space between is out now up next she's just what about styles her steamy erotic writing based on one direction heating up more than just the pages yeah.

Coming up next