Maui, Partner, Hawaii discussed on Habits and Hustle


Tiny habits I loved your Tedtalk. Are you a couple of debt? Talks though right and I've watched those but I say I really really enjoyed the first one. Thank you and your new book. Timing habits if thing this is what's going to be very difficult about this. Podcast you have so many of mazing tips tricks processes and how Gain a good at new habit had a bad habit and everything in between I don't know quicker even have enough time to cover everything I feel like. We'll see orders. We'll do a series. We should two part series once a week for the year. I I'm telling you I'm going through your walkout like okay. This this one piece can be literally entire podcast and so listen. I guess we'll just Kinda see where out far we can get in there but thanks for being on habits hustle. Thank you from biting me. Well this is going to emmy however would you live in Hawaii or you Kinda? Yeah part time in Maui and so you didn't escape what's going on here right now. We were already here and just made a decision to stay here so in a time like this. When everyone's basically on lockdown especially in California New York Building Habits New Habits is is gonNA is extra tricky and Is has a whole other layer on layer of difficulty with chaos and kid everything in between I don't even know where to begin. I guess I I guess the first place to begin is how do you it? A new a new normal is going to be. I don't know it could be monster all in our homes. How do we kind of shift and create A new set of habits that you know is kind of Florence. All of us. Yeah The environment around us. Changing all of us are creating. New Habits is probably. I'm quite sure in the history of the world. We have more human beings changing their habits right now than ever before and it may never happen like this again. I hope the environment so so much of our behavior in our habits are driven by our environment our context and right that's changed. There's an environment of fear environment of lockdown like today in Maui and Hawaii. Was the day that everybody stays home. And so people aren't doing their normal things aren't in their normal work environments and so whether people designed for it or not whether they want it or not your habits are changing and there will be some habits. Stayed The same and some change. Maybe a lot that change my own habits. Haven't changed that much because what I do is I do. Mostly remote work Medupi some shifts. I need to do And some of them might be bigger than others but most people are probably making really big ships right now and I think the key is to maintain the good habits you have and then for the habits that you have the shift around like how you work out or how you eat or how you work than design for the best habits that you can and be proactive about that. And that's really what my work and tiny habits is about. Here's how you design habits into your life if you do that deliberately. And it's not as hard as most people believe and just do the best. You can especially in this environment because there are so many distractions guy. There's the emmy very at for people who I know. You hate the word motivated but not hate. The word. Motivation isn't really a NAS to change behavior or to create a better behavior right and WanNa talk about that actually of a little bit. And what how? What are the ways? People the roadways how people shift behavior because at the end of the day Jim built a habit. It's actually about changing behavior right. Yeah so it is is I mapped it out. Habit is one type of behavior. There are other types of behaviors like doing things one time. We're doing things for a limited period of time or doing something more intensely whereas habits Behave you do quite automatically and motivation matters. Yes it matters. I though understand through my research and through coaching over forty thousand people inhabit that motivation is not the key to trading habits. Yes you have to be motivated to have a particular habit. So focused on habits. You want those that you feel like you should have But instead of focusing on motivation which if supplicant on you really focus on ability making it really easy and then the third component of figures the prompt. What's going to remind you to that behavior? So from the outset you pick habits you want so motivations built-in like if you Want to serve well. That's great awesome. Then make it really easy to do it. Make sure there's approved. That's kind of what I've done. That's why I live in Maui Part Time Right. I do not have to motivate myself to go surfing. I have to in fact do the opposite on days where I'm really busy or maybe the weather is really terrible. I have to stop myself from going on. I still go out and look at least so if you I know it sounds crazy but I'm not the only one in this situation so if it's a habit that you want and it's really about making it easy to do in finding it prompt and that essences tiny habits right there but let's just. Let's just stay on the motivation because people ask me all the time just they also saw that you worked with weight watchers or with Dave Kirk off. Which is what. I was with weight watchers for so many years and so that I was reading your book and I'm like Oh my God I know I know that guy. Yeah Yeah we to actually add watches. I'm not just saying that because I was involved with them for many years. That was because it actually does work. I mean is it reason why it there. There is success to it but Anyway I get asked a lot but motivation like wow. I'm just not motivated to work out of just not loaded at. How do I get motivated? And people always say that it's motivation and you really talk a lot about the different types of motivation. You can have a storage motivation menu. cloth You can you. Let's talk about the different kinds of motivation and walk. You're the expert. Tell us you know logistics categorize it this way. There are aspirations down. We have like I want to be healthier. I WANNA lose weight and there's motivation for that abstract thing that aspiration and then there are specific behaviors. WanNa Surf I WANNA eat three carats everyday and the motivation for that specific behavior. So motivation applies in both contexts. So yes you need to be motivated for that aspiration. I WANNA be more fit or I want to be more productive but then you need to find the behavior the specific new habit. That will take you there and you need to find a new habit that you're motivated to do so in terms of fitness. I think all of us are motivated to have more energy and be more fit. And so that's there than the challenge is to find the exercise or the new habit. That will get you that that you also wanted so if you came to me and said. Okay. Bj going to have you walk on a treadmill and a gym for an hour a day. That's how you're GONNA BE FIT. It's like no known aboard like I might be able to get myself to do that for a time. No I'm not on board with that. But then he say Oh go surfing. I'm totally unemployed. Which is harder than walking on a treadmill so motivation applies to the aspirations are outcome that we want but it's really important to also connect with the new habit that you're doing and find one that you want to do so if it's not walking on the treadmill look for exerciser fitness habits that you do want and don't just assume because you've watched. Ted Talk or you some TV show or friend told you that something great. That's right for you. So the method that I outlined tiny habits is a way to figure out which specific new habit is a good match for you and that includes something that you're already motivated to do that. You want to do that you like doing well. You talked about that. I believe in you. Know the steps to change Design your behavior right like what not to do and what to do right like what what. Why are you laughing? Well because I it's just there's so many people that just assume all this stuff that they've heard for decades is right and they're like okay. I don't really want to go to the gym. But I guess I'll go do and that's part of what my work and my books about is to say. Hey people so much of what you've heard about habits is wrong so stop believing it away and don't laugh out of derision it's just it's so commonplace and once people see it of course of course if. I want to walk on the treadmill now not going to become a habit so there's kind of this nice moment of insight people can get like. Oh help myself do what I already want to do. Can really be that easy. Yes it's not it's like people always say what's the best best thing is to do to lose weight and the best thing is that you're actually going to do like there's do. I have to run well. No you don't have to run if you're not if you don't like running you're not gonna Rod so they'll pick that activity pick something different. I know what I you're very. It's very what you talk about is so contrary wherever here is because you don't like in your whole book and what you're talking about you've never used the word like goal like here's your goal. It's about like you'd never liked working or remorse right. Everyone always talks about well if you want it do this. And you'll get this or have this goal and you're like people at all how it works right. Yeah I mean you. You don't have to set goals. The there are times when those are helpful You don't have to be set up an accountability partner. There's times when that could work The the really the key to key takeaways and I called them maxims and everything falls under these two statements. One is help yourself do what you already want to do. That's maximum number one and maximum number to help yourself feel successful so goals setting helps you feel successful do it. But there are people where it doesn't and it scares them and they know that they set a goal. They won't even do it because they've done it before. And it helps them feel unsuccessful if accountability partner helps you feel successful still it. But if it doesn't don't do it so there's a lot of techniques approaches that it's hard to say. Yeah that's good. Or bad the overriding principles or does to yourself which already want to do and help yourself feel successful so anything you look at whether it's a specific technique like accountability partners or an overall program like weight watchers or Peleton. Or what have you ask yourself? Is doing those things from enough? Yes Divan if fidel than avoided. Because it's not going to work in the long in the long term so that in a situation we're in right now. Right where a big motivation would be or stock by the lake to figure out what we're second home. We have lots of work screaming. Kids now not a school. Isn't that big enough motivation to start at a? I guess a a different behavior will eliminate a bad one. We're in a very unusual time Usually motivation will if it surges. It will go down fairly quickly and I've called that name that with health. Dr David Sobel. Thank you David. Call at the motivation wave. It goes up and then it will come back down wherein appeared. That's more like a soon Nami. It goes up and it doesn't come down quickly. A will come down but it's not doing it quickly. So we have a period of weeks and certainly months. Hopefully not years months of where we're GONNA be in an unusually high state of motivation for certain things protect ourselves from virus transmission. First and foremost and so in when motivation is high. Were able to get ourselves to do difficult things when it drops. We can't do those difficult things. So where and we've seen this globally where the people were all doing these really hard new behaviors and we're keeping them up because the motivation so high right now. This is a really unusual period. It's a Su- Nami the motivation to NAMI rather wave. That goes up and down. So how did you become a a Europe behavioral scientist but as a lot of your I guess all your research is it based on practical experience. You try these out. People are defense trial and error on yourself. A bunch of forty thousand or fifty thousand I. It is a combo of IT'S A. It's a Combo of academic work in doing research. Looking at the research and hands on experience in coaching. I stopped counting at forty thousand people so I save fifty thousand personally. Coaching forty thousand plus In habit changed and I did that through email so it wasn't like they showed up at my home or whatever but it was individual emails year for starting back in two thousand eleven week after week after week after week people hundreds of people and really fast at it Automated parts of it. But I would look at everybody's email that would I mean it was a daily thing where I would spend time of every day coat for years and after a while you see the patterns of what works. And what doesn't in a way that an academic study cannot teach you because it's people in the real world creating real habits and you're just you eventually see patterns and the patterns are overwhelmingly clear and not really helped me than look back at the academic work and go. Oh yeah this could have worked as a laboratory setting. This doesn't work in the real world and so on an even help focus my own research so I was studying. Not The tradition right if I just picked up on the academic tradition. I'd be studying things. That may not matter very much but looking at things actually matter. That's where the maximum came from the combination of. What do I know? Is Behavioral Scientist? What do I know as somebody who's hands on for you know week after week for years and it really boils down to those two maxims and I at first even though I had a sense those variety I almost didn't say them even to myself that no it can't be that simple can't live under those two things then after all just end up just yeah it really boils down.

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