Damian, Luke, Wesley discussed on The Art of Charm


I I can understand on the post and how troubling I can be an I O. We were in a a shoot for one of my projects. It was a band and one of the guys in the band had handed the the guy who's putting the video together. Impose them when he was editing thing. Two pages of shots that he wanted to see of him in in the video and I was like Oh my God. He's like he does know this the three minute song and Lake and he just threw them out but it was just one of those things like really like do do that is for me. I can understand. There's things that you would hope. Make it into the cut right. Sure but to sit down and write out two pages ages of shots of yourself that you would like to see is. I don't know if you deal with this but Wesley asked how. How do I stop procrastinating? I mean how bad do you want whatever you want paying. Yeah the why of why you're doing it and if you really want something bad enough you'll just. There is no procrastination procrastination. You just go you know do it. Yeah the motivation. The willpower all becomes a lot easier. So asking yourself I. If you've identified what you're procrastinating on asking. He yourself why why is something. That's intimidating me or I'm not getting to and then of course the the flip side of that is. Do you have the time to actually get it done on right now and you know time management is also a part of it. I think I've certainly struggle with procrastination and it's usually stuff that I'm not good at So I know it's going to take a lot more my time. It's going to be more frustrated right which I'm the same way sometimes where I feel like if I don't know something super well sometimes this even the thought of I'm doing it is like it's more intense than just actually doing the thing because I don't know it is Intimidating is a good word. I know for myself when it comes comes to reading. I don't WanNA start a book and not be able to finish it so that will usually keep me from getting into it. I've now since as as I've gotten older like if if you're just a like it just put it down right you don't need to force yourself through this thing right but yeah that that always made made me procrastinate in the past. I think it's also again getting a deeper y. There's a level of self sabotage next month talking. Judy Ho wrote a book on self sabotage. But in general. Especially if you've started something but you can't see it all the way through right there's some self sabotage going on. They're like why do I not want to get this thing published while doing now and hit post. Why do I not actually want to get this out? I think a lot of people are afraid of other people's opinions and you put out something that is you through ruin through whether it's a book Song Film and the thought of someone saying something bad about it is terrifying for a lot of people Kuwait. How do you deal with that because because nobody who criticizes me is doing more than I am? That's an incredible thing and and I hope for context of the young on kids who are listening to us to to put that in quotes. Write that down somewhere but on on top of that we. What is the one thing that you do? When you're seeing one of your friends friends doing things that you wanna be doing? You immediately go to wherever they're creating and you hope and you try with the nasty comments so that you're like see he. I knew he couldn't do. It could happen but then if you engage in that sort of behavior when it comes to your time to raise your hand and and put something out there going to be thinking about is the negativity that goes along with that. Because that's what you've engaged right that's true and you know most people that are in the the the ring with you so to speak and putting stuff out and actually you know creating There's a mutual respect for everybody you know and yeah you might get a cheap shot from somebody who's also working as well and could just be like a jealousy thing but for the most part like the criticism online just comes from people who probably wish that they were. We're doing whatever they're watching. Is You know. Yeah I think in general. It's a lot easier to tear down the news to build of course in every we're talking about here it takes a team. It takes hours and hours months and months of work to put together to have that finished product and it's just so easy to pick apart one little thing. Yeah you just see the you know the tip of the Iceberg Berg so to speak and a Lotta Times too. 'cause I you know I'm not You know I get negative comments on my staff. Not Too much but I definitely do in a lot of times. I just say to myself will you if you can really do it better and you know how to do it than just show me do it. Now I love to see it and I had Mike. I'm not I don't have an ego about out like always being right or anything like that. Always listen if you know. It's a valid point is coming from a valid sources. Yeah show me why or how I could have done a better and do you have of any sort of comparison envy when you compare with other artists and creatives out there of course. Yeah Yeah I do without a lot because I work with a lot of incredibly incredibly incredibly successful people all the time And they're all really young around my age. Maybe a little bit older twenty seven twenty eight and of course you compare yourself off because it's so strange because you know a lot of people probably look at me and think I'm a successful euro is Kinda just like benchmarking yourself. Yeah I think pushing yourself and maybe you can speak to this a little bit you know. Obviously there's no top of the mountain now like you. Ah you see the next project. The next thing in front of you and it's great to hear that from you because a lot of our audience exactly that looks at everything in your body of work and I was like. Oh my God. He's he's crushing and he's killing it. He's made it and of course there's going to be that level of all I want more in. Oh my God. These other people are creating stuff that I want to be creating two and that balance silence. So do you find yourself in situations where that that comparison leads to some negative self talk or some self doubt. And how do you you. How do you deal with that? Yeah I would be lying if I said I didn't doesn't like affect me or you know I am a completely immune to negative self talk but I don't know you know. We all have our different journeys and paths and you know they might be in our seasonal life. Where they destruct gold and and that might become informed me again you know in a couple of years from now next week? Who knows so you? Just tell yourself okay. We'll what are like the actual variables that you can control troll and it's you know how hard you're working you know how talented and skillful you are at your craft. It's how well you treat people and then the rest kind of just. Yeah you just gotTa throw your hands up. What's going to happen is going to happen right? But it's gotta be published. It's got to be out there for things to happen. Yeah exactly that's the most help on hard-drive to sit in their exactly got a questionnaire from Luke says he was raised in a poor community in my understanding of what is possible personally and professionally is pretty limited head now that I'm educated and live in a city filled with opportunities. How do you decide what I want? And how to get it when I have no frame of reference and obviously as is your careers taken off. I'm assuming the the big GIG in the beginning was GOPRO. Then you've athlete bad and now it's like how do you open up yourself to that world a possibility and figure out. What's next I think you just you do things that excite you because even I don't really necessarily know what's around the corner a year? Now you know. I have a a gauge of where I want. WanNa be but I kind of yeah go by like the things that fulfil me and excite me like doing the film for example is if a very fulfilling thing and I kinda just you know we were talking about earlier out things. Just don't make sense like doing this. Film makes zero sense completely self funded. It's a ton of money. It's a time suck. I'm giving giving up music videos and directing campaigns for commercials if he would have so. It really doesn't make sense but it's what I I know is going to fulfill me in excites me so I do it so raising that level of self awareness and really listening to your intuition and this this. I don't know who this person is. But this person when they were our You know living in the poor community or wherever they're from they obviously had aspirations to get out of there and they are out of there now right so I would just have them ask themselves elves when you a daydream about where you wanted to be. What were those things and then just get in tune without again and have you had any mentorship along the way? 'cause I feel like this is definitely a situation where Luke could use as a mentor. Who has experienced that and has a frame of reference that he could draw from I talked to my dad. A Lot. Dad Is Someone like look up to a ton and good businessman and just through and through very level headed with a lot of things but as far as like a formal mentor in like my industry. Now I haven't had had anyone probably should but it'd be nice. We've carved your own way. Yeah Damian asked basically I struggle a lot with initiating and maintaining conversations especially with the opposite. OPPOSITE-SEX I kind of get stuck and start to filter out things. That would not be fun enough. This makes the interaction much more awkward and difficult for me How do you gauge how to initiate a conversation patients someone in a social environment? And if it's going well Do you have those situations. Have you struggle at all so feel free. Alco Matt Nice to meet you like even if they don't even know you are you're in a weird spot and then just get them talking about what they like. Yeah sure enough. They'll talk the whole time. I was really good conversation. You know like I didn't say a word find yourself. Would you describe yourself as an extrovert or intimate. Both I guess I can. I can switch it on or off what it is. I I like my alone time and I like creating alone but then I also like to go out and have fun and be with friends and the both I guess. Yeah I think in general enroll you you realize the time and place for both right being creative you have to retreat. Figure it out for yourself and then also knowing what the career takes to get to the next level that network you have to be building you have to be able to be extroverted as well right right allies. Those opportunities are not going to present themselves. I would also you know. It's through this question. It you could see the Damian also extremely analytical writing. He's stopping himself because because he wants to figure out whether or not what he's about to say is going to be interesting enough or fun enough and if he continues to think in that manner and he's going to let a lot a lot of things a lot of opportunities just roll past and so he's going to have to learn to speak up and of course we talk about this in our workshops. It's all the time and and we even put together Improv workshops for for this very thing so that you can let loose use of your anxiety. What's going to be fun and what isn't going to be fun because you're sitting there thinking about it you don't really know and how and this is the same thing about creating hating if you're not putting it out there? How do you know what you have and what people are going to enjoy true true? Sorry good well what you were saying earlier right. Hey Yeah Matt. It's being present..

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