Testosterone, Times, Partner discussed on Factually! with Adam Conover
Okay we're back with Nicole PROWSE So another area here. A lot of pseudoscientific information about sex is the difference between men and women as a standup comedian. I have heard so much ill-informed pontificating at my workplace about differences between men and women What are some of the myths? And what are some of the things that we know about those differences sexually? I'm sure there's a lot. Yeah so it turns out a lot of things. We attribute within sexuality to gender differences or probably more due to sex drive is on average guys. Fire sex drive in. That's cross cultural. There are very depending who you ask but maybe one culture where women report having a higher sex drive so we hear things like. Oh men are more visual will not if you control for sex drive. It's people who have higher sex drive. Tend to respond more to sexual images like nearly speaking no scientifically And you know it's not that guys have some special receptors in the brain. They're totally different. That pipe porn straight to their penis or something like no that. Of course that doesn't happen It certainly is the case that women orgasm much less consistently than men do very well documented and I back that up in lab physiology so It's very much more difficult. Seems women to get there for what reason we're working on it. These are all these are actually the opposite of misconceptions. These are all sort of like our general cultural beliefs about the sexes that are being held up here in the case of orgasm gaps. Yes but not. The men are more visual. I'd say that's a myth. Oh the idea that men are visual. Because they're hunters and they need to see a lion run and so then they see boob and it's the same as that and they wanNA clunk him on the head with a club I knew. I mean people really believe I listened to some really bad podcast sometimes Where people talk about this. You know so so. It's just that people with higher sex drives were more are more efficient But that's really interesting that that that that whole one thing that really struck me was. I wonder if any insight on this I was watching a video by Trans woman talking about her transition and one of the things he struck me as I said that was really interesting was after she transitions went on. You know all the various hormone therapies. You said That she felt her sexuality change and she no longer needed to have what she called an obligate daily orgasm that like no longer felt like. I just must have an orgasm wants today and I was like. Oh that's like a way to put it that I've not thought about it before that there's just like Sometimes for many feels like you're just like taking a crap you know it's one of the things you gotta do. You know what I mean that. The research currently on women and drive a lot. There's a lot of interest in something called responsive desires and the idea that we're in the past using the same model for men and women where you're just supposed to be walking on the street and Powell you're hit with sex drive and I must go get off now and it doesn't work that way. It seems as much for women and probably not for lower drive men either and so by responsive desire. What we mean is like you gotTa have a little something. I kind of get the genome is. You can't say I just expect lightning to strike and that's my model like if I don't have lightning striking that I have low sex drive. That's not true. So you know if you need someone kind of coming onto you or touching you and like non sexual regions zones to even start to think sexually. That's normal. That is the common experience and so we don't want people you know believing they're deficient or low drive because they need to be touched. I in some way or solicited in some way we are now trying to transition a call that responsive desire differentiating that from spontaneous desire that walking down the street struck by lightning. Kind of feeling that I think you're describing. How how much do we know about when you know people do transition right or like you know taking how? How much does that change? You know this sort of dichotomy that you're talking about. Yeah so those are interesting because they're exactly supra physiological doses of hormones so in general sex drive is not tightly tied to testosterone. And that's another good myth to us That is an either men or women. The Tigers that are in our bodies at any particular time don't seem too tight or experienced sex drive but that is not true in the case of people who are transitioning. Because they're too strong levels are out of soup out of physiological range. They're going super physiological. You know so. This is I'm getting far more or far less to Saas Stran- than Was in a norm within normal limits. Getting and not that. It's a disease but into disease territory. That is if a doctor saw this and knew you weren't getting testosterone would be worried so those are very different kind of levels and tighter of hormones that they're dealing with but within normal limits. You know those don't generally tie to the experience of drive and in terms of men and women or men and our women and women together when we're talking about we're taught doughnuts or any combinations of folks Like what are the misconceptions? What are we learning? What are the fascinating new things? We're learning about couples or triples trying to trying to like be really how inclusive Arabi woke. Yeah exactly yeah so there are. There's the stuff we're doing. And then some labs generally are interested in this kind of fluidity ideas just briefly. The fluidity idea is women. Tend to be more. Broadly aroused To a variety of different stimulus even a straight woman you show her gay porn of men or women gay porn and she tends to respond to it at least a little bit in terms of her genitals at least but if you show guys things that are outside of their stated preferred range. They tend to be very constrained to respond to just what they say. They're interested in and there are a number of labs that are investigating those kind of sexual fluidity issues differences That they think are their between genders. And I'd say we're kind of in the middle of that we've got some you know fare base of knowledge at this point but we're still trying to suss out kind of what some of the things are due to and then we're actually bringing couples into the laboratory in measuring from both of them at the same time to try and understand really what the physiology of interacting looks like so. We're getting a brain measures from both people interacting for the first time. Ever to understand like when someone is providing stimulation. What is their brain look like? And what is the brain of the prisoners sitting there receiving it look like and then Are Those brain states useful for anything you know. Do they have maybe health applications? That's a strong interest of mine. Can we use being highly sexually arouse to help us in a way like meditation may help us? Yeah so one of the questions like to. What extent do we have that kind of relaxed but awake brain state when we're highly sexually aroused and you know if that was the case with couples? Is there an intervention? There you know can we potentially capitalize on that and use it to even have partners helping each other if you stayed or you know. This is a practice they do regularly together. Looks Meditative. Potentially yeah idea of sexual arousal is like an altered state that's like meditative like really resonates with me. Because I think about the Times where you know I've tried to. You know be aroused and have not been able to. You know what I'm not been able to get into it right and it's like something's running around in my head like I'm thinking about work. I'm angry at somebody or I'm you know you're just like you're making out with your partner and inside your head is just like Volvo. And they're kind of like where are you and you're like I'm not here. I'm sorry and then the times when you're most aroused it's like you're it's like your mind falls away and you're just like in that moment and you're just like in this real and it's like one of the best things about it. Frankly is that you lose yourself and that you you know. Become sort of the thing that you're doing and that's a that's a lot like when people talk about meditating we think these are unique brain states and that's one of the kind of discovery as where we think we've made that were trying to you know trust but verify and so we see. Initially when people start to become sexual you know. The brain is very strongly engaged. You have to have a lot of effort. You have to be able to allocate attention to the stimulus kind of as you're describing but then if we say okay you know that's Nice you've been masturbating now and watching porn for twenty four minutes or we give them. We'd like you to try and have an orgasm now. The brain state at that point completely shifts not orgasm but long before it. And that's when we start to see a kind of a loss of cognitive control or reduction of control and that may be something that looks more meditative so I don't think that kind of earlier arousal stages look very like I have to try to pay attention and I have to be awake but then later on shifts to something that looks very distinct so We also see this in the nervous system that is early on heart rate breathing rate August going up and then we say okay now try and have a climax will masters and Johnson said. Well you just keep getting more and more and more and more arousal. Pow Lamma Orgasm. Yeah you go to bed and Our model doesn't look like that. It's like okay. We get breathing. Hurry up and then we say okay try to have an orgasm and then they just like start going down and we're like wait. We know that happened so now we're trying to figure out what that is. Yeah that is Even if you interrogate your own experiences of sex it's not like Oh yeah just keeps going up. I think everyone's had the experience of like you know. Yeah Okay let's try to make it happen and then Oh I. It's house not not quite happening. There's something there's something amiss there's like Yeah it's like a really interesting puzzle to try to figure out like what's actually happening in that moment as even in that moment like you said where you're just like all right. Let's you're having all right. Let's finish up. You know what I mean like. What is that difference? And then what actually gets you to the point of finishing up in not everyone where sensors upset. Okay so Yeah it's like the or some people I think are calling this edging here. That term through the heck is that. Isn't that just being aroused? There's another thing well no. It's maintaining that last moment. As long as you can think that edging is maybe not so special. It's maybe just hanging out in that second phase of Arousal Which is Great. You know. It looks like fun by. I don't know that it's anything special to call it edging. And just yeah. Is there any sort of researching that you know? Th this part of this like. Is there any therapeutic advice that you have for folks like hey one thing I've learned that's like here's a tip? You know what I mean that that can help people with their. You know this is a good one so I think you know. People tend to have problems with one or the other. Sometimes they'll say oh. I get turned on just fine but I can't get over the Hump My. I can't have climax and I don't know why I'm just stuck other times. They're like well. Yeah like if I can get turned on. I can climax easily enough but I can't get into it now..