Montana, Geneva, Billings discussed on The Endless Honeymoon Podcast

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Geneva Moshe Tasha hey guys. How're you doing? Good House billings. Oh you know it's it's good. It's billings I love billings things. I Love Montana. I've been there billings. Is it like a big city. It's the big city right. It's the biggest city in Montana. It's the big city of Montana. People travel here parts you Do Their shopping and other such big city things. High once jumped off a bridge in billings Montana into a river. Ah which wait which bridge. Well probably twenty years ago and it was a bridge that kind of stopped in the middle of a river. It hadn't been completed and so does that ring a bell. Oh No not at all. I would've been five at that point so well. Okay Hey Geneva do who you voting for in the presidential election. Well you don't have to say but here's the thing you live in Montana. Vote is worth like four hundred votes. Isn't it yeah. You have great power great responsibility on your fingertips right now. Geneva choose wisely. Yeah well I think at this point it'll either be warrant or sanders. We love it. We don't call them yeah ours either. We call them Colonel Sanders Colonel Sanders Sanders. There's you know You may not know this but the One of the marks of distinction in politics in Montana is that there is at your senator body slammed rammed reporter for asking him a question. Yeah he's a total garbage bag not not a fan real real bad guy. I Love Montana and I love your state and in fact. I think Natasha are coming there. This this summer to We're going to go check out the Big Sky Montana. Well we're did not say what I'm going to Mont we're going to yellowstone which is mostly in Wyoming. We're going to swing through Montana because I think it's so beautiful and I think you'll love it there. You Go Natasha Tasha you'll love it. Take my word for it really. It's truly a beautiful special place. Oh cool I'm excited. I actually know nothing about it. It's got a big sky and a lot of anti breath billboards the last time I was there. Yeah Yeah Anti Math billboards and pro-life billboards so you'll love it. You'll love it. Actually talker might not like it because she loves abortion and is a methamphetamine addict. So Okay Geneva tell us why you called okay so And I have been dating my boyfriend for a pretty long time. We've been together for about a year and a year in some change. ENJ and We seem to work through problems pretty well except for one thing. which is his massage therapist? Coast is also his ex girlfriend and like this. This is an a very very serious ex-girlfriend like marriage And every time we talk about it it ends up in a really big fight because I feel like he doesn't understand why that makes me uncomfortable massage. How often every Tuesday? I think Gosh every I would say every two months maybe but yeah it's still so it's happened like eight eight times. Yeah and that. And that's that's a lot I think. Yeah and I talked to your ex girlfriend. Gave you off on. Say Oh Geneva Geneva. It's so weird I mean it's beyond weird uh-huh okay honestly. I feel like I might even have just needed validation to know that like my feelings are are accurate because I WanNa know some of the things you bring up to him like are you like. Couldn't you use a different massage therapist. Obviously that's the first thing you'd say. What does he respond with? Why does he need to be with her? I was I was GONNA say Geneva. What's weird what's we're it's definitely funny and the most funny thing I've heard all night and I've heard some very strange in the last year on Monday but it's definitely a funny that he does that? But what's weird and making me like alarm bell is that He. He doesn't respond. Well would you say that makes me uncomfortable. I WANNA give them the benefit of the doubt. Look it's Montana. You don't have a lot of people. There's probably four sauce therapists in the entire states professions. Johnson's therapist nope. She works at the fish farm. She's she's a salmon fisherman. Oh my God we let me ask you this. has there ever been anything around the massage. Like where he was supposed to come home afterwards but then he's like Oh. I'm GONNA stay at this massage. Or does it ordinal Oromo. It all feels very on the level. It's just he won't give it up it's just do you think he's sex with her. No I honestly don't feel like I don't have any suspicions at all but it is just the idea of him being like but ass naked we get in a room with his ex girlfriend and it's just the idea of it. That makes me really uncomfortable especially since I never like. I don't know this woman I've never met her and she just seems like this various secret I don't know it just feels really icky and I he you know I explained to him like I. Don't you know I won't necessarily ask you to find a new massage therapist but I just want you and Ah Boorda on Geneva now no okay I found I found I found the problem because I'm I'm over here thinking here's how this conversation conversation should go. I'm the Guy Geneva you come to me come to me and tell me what you're what you're Y- you tell me your issue. I'm your boyfriend I'm i. I love salmon a ride horses. I Love Montana. My boots are caked with mud of red clay way that it's actually pretty accurate but So I feel uncomfortable with you getting massages judges from this woman. I think there are I know. For a fact there are many other massage. Therapists in billings. That are probably just as good. I just I I guess that would be it. I here I go here. We go ready. Yeah hold on. Let me finish this salmon. L. Mytalk the boys and poisoned Barry. What kind of Berry got those fund berries huckleberry sauce on the salmon that I just caught fresh out the river honey Geneva Geneva? Let's have a little convention. Let's have a little Geneva Convention. Hey Hey hey. Don't make fun of me vis-a-vis my favorite comedian. Moshe casher love that you know what honey I assure you. Nothing is is going on between me and my ex and I promise you absolutely. Nothing's going on but hearing your concern. You mean so much watch to me that just because it makes you uncomfortable. I will find another massage therapist. Now that that's what that's what you should. That's the obvious thing Nisei and then he could say something like you know what she's important to me. Because I had a long relationship with her so would you. Would you be okay with me. Having coffee with her her once a year or something like that. I mean the idea. That he can't break himself away from her slathering his ripple salmon fisherman bobby with with oil. I mean. It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. I I got a massage probably once a month more than that. I love massage. And it's like if something something even slightly weird uncomfortable happened with a massage therapist and the Tasha didn't want that person around. I just feel like okay. Go to a different massage therapist right. We I want to know what what has he said when you've asked him about what's his response. So he's he's been like well you know. Is it like do you not trust me Do you think that there's something going on between us and I obviously say no 'cause I I truly don't believe there's anything going on I just I explained and you know this is. This is how I feel. And he says well massage is really important for my healing or whatever. She's the Best I've been able to find and I want to support her business. And and all of this and then it it sort of ends up in a place where I I look like. I'm not supporting what he needs and wants which is always a weird weird place to be in? Because I like. That's it's not not the case but I guess it's just finding that balance between honoring my discomfort while also like allowing having to make his own decisions. I don't know any very he actually he. He offered to buy me a session with her. He's like you're you're going to love it. You'll never come harder in your life and it's just I think his insistence to keep seeing her is just. It just makes me uncomfortable. Did he break up with her. Did he break up with her. Yes so it sounds like maybe he feels a little title guilty to like. He bought like a twelve pack of her massage for her business and like he's trying to support it and maybe he feels guilt and it's his way of like you know trying to like be like. I'm sorry that I am not marrying you. There's terrain there's a term. I hate to use as a world still. I don't know if it's bothering you like Moshe said you should get out right okay. There's a term for the way that he was talking to you. I hate to use like a woke doc buzzword but it's a term for that it's called gas lighting. Make you feel crazy for your own discomfort. Let me get. I'll tell you a little story hate that. Hey Ah yeah it's it's it's awful. I'll tell you a little story. I once went on a date. This is when I was first in therapy for trying to figure out how to be in a relationship attention this long before. I met Natasha. I went on a date with a woman and we went on one date I bought dinner and we went on another date and she invited to people to come on the day. That was actually a whole other bizarre story. which was that the couple? I'll just quickly tell you the couple. The woman had met the man on a suicide hotline. She she was calling oh she was calling as a suicidal person. He was the counselor he then somehow roped her into dating him brought her into a and became her sponsor it was the most toxic that shit ever heard in my life. But that's neither here nor there. She invited these two people out. We went out to eat and at the end of the meal I was young I was broke and young. I didn't have any money at the end of the meal. I didn't pay for her meal right and when we got home because she had invited these people it was awkward. I paid for my portion. I was young. Whatever we got home that night? We've been dating. Everything had been kind of exciting. She kind of freaked out on me and was like really upset that I didn't you pay for the meal. Felt devalued Blah Blah. Whatever I went and talked about it in therapy the next day and she said it was? She said it's okay that she default that way that she felt devalued or that she wanted you to pay for a for the meal but there's no way she's never heard of someone going Dutch. There's no way that that was a new concept that it just like. She couldn't believe that someone had gone Dutch on a date. That's how I feel about your boyfriend like he might. He has the right to feel defensive of this relationship with this woman and assuming he's not doing anything untoward or weird. He has the right to feel defensive in his relationship with this woman has the right to to say you know I just it up. It's Weirds me out that you think this is not cool. But there's no possible way A. He's stupid enough that he can't imagine a world in which his current girlfriend would be uncomfortable with regular naked massages Sasha's from his ex fiancee he and that's how he's talking to you. He's talking to you as though he can't. He's never even heard of a person so crazy and paranoid that they wouldn't be totally comfortable with regular nude oil rubbed unless he's like really deeply not attracted to this woman his ex no no but even then he still has to give Geneva the the the conversation could be. I wouldn't like it but it could be look. I know you're uncomfortable with I. I get that you're uncomfortable with it. You're totally reasonable to be comfortable with it. Here's why it's not weird but it's not that it's what are you talking about. Don't you trust to me. I think you're why are you being paranoid about me. Don't you understand that massage is important to me. It's like complete like psychic gas lighting. Not I hate it. I don't know Geneva needs to be a little more strong and needs to say you know it's not that I need you to find another person. It is that you needed to find another person you need to be you know. Plan your three sentences you want to say and repeat to him over and over the next time you have this conversation. I've thought about it. I don't know if it makes me unreasonable or not. But I do need you to get a new massage therapist because I'll never be comfortable with this relationship. That and during the she needs to say anything. 'cause like say and it's not that I'm saying that I think that you're cheating on me. Do you know what I mean. 'cause he's GonNa take their bright. What's what's the thing she can say? Data absolve herself from that. I usually do a thing I go. I usually do a thing I say. Hey Okay you think this is totally normal. Let's ask five of your friends and five of my friends if they think it's normal. Let's take a little poll of the room and if you ask ten people in Montana that's an entire town that's a whole district. I mean seriously sleep. Run this up the flagpole to see if this doesn't stink to anybody else I mean I'm pretty liberal and I have relationships with a pretty much. All of my ex is is that I've dated and I'm friends with them all. Go hang out with them. The tushes met a lot of them. I don't I would never say. Can I get a regular massage. It's yeah it's just like even though I would no I could trust myself..

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