Hockey, Alzheimer, Meyer discussed on First Class Fatherhood
Aim is when we're not in the pitcher are that when they're out on their own they'll be able to have the self control to be able to function in a way that they don't end up in prison. I mean that's the bottom line line and so I believe that that You know the discipline that we exercise. Now it's ultimately to save them from the punishment out in the world that is much harsher than anything then than we can give and it it's it's for them to be able to blossom not to break their spirit or anything like that and there's no and as a kid there's definitely Y- I'm very conscious and mindful of that and I quite frankly I hate you. You know I hate it given spankings and and And so I so I think that really cushioned how I went about it so I think that my wife actually ends up being more the disciplinarian than I am just because You you know so it's kind of there and there's also personality with our kids. Our kids are split I have kids. That are very stubborn and are very like me and then I have two that are very gentle and sweet and and more like my wife and I tend to have to discipline the hardheaded ones and yeah then my wife tends to discipline the sweet ones because they have me wrapped around their finger. kind of thing so Yeah yeah very cool. Yeah I go through the same thing myself and I think there's obviously yeah definitely discrepancy between spanking and child and beating a child so I think that and it doesn't always necessarily work have kids like I. I could spank them all day long. It Ain't GonNa Change You. They spanked him once. And that's it. Yeah I mean I have two kids I just say that I'm GonNa make them and then that's it then they've ever done and the other ones it's like we you can see them all day long and it's like okay. This is an accomplished anything. So we're not we're not gonna go that route. Let's figure out what it's about figuring out. How so that? They can learn their lesson in a way that they hey have some sort of pain whether it's emotional physical so that there's a natural consequence of that next time they seek to do the right thing on their own. I mean that's that's that's that's what we want. Is that our kids. When they launch an eighteen going to college that they will be able to Be placed in an environment that. There's going to be tempting them to do things that will have far greater consequences than than any spanking so that they know how to get a hold of their their flesh. I should've from a from a Christian perspective and say you know what I'm not GonNa make that decision because of the consequences of doing that will be far greater than any immediate Instant zinc gratification. That I can get from this moment and so that's that's ultimately what we want and I and I really wish I had that when I was a kid and I did it have it. So yeah well. That's one of the good thing about fatherhood. Is You get a chance to do the things you thought should have been done. You get a chance to do them absolutely And you know I wanted to ask you. It was just 'cause my four or just about the same age as yours Meyer. Thirteen twelve eight and five so my wife and I are the most challenging Transition was going from two kids chance to three that once we had our third kid that first year felt like one long day. What was what was the What would you say the most challenging You know the nomination. Asian of kids Well obviously the the first the first one was terrifying. I remember leaving from where we had her and it was like. They're letting us just take this kid like who do they who who do they think we are. You know like driving away with a car seat going. Oh man there's no like we're the buck stops with us down with this kid and so the the first one was terrifying leaving realizing that you have now been entrusted with this this precious life. The second one was less terrifying. But that like you the the the third one is you have to move to more of a zone defense and and it's it's no longer one on one and it's you know you have to manage the three of them for four. I've realized that you enter into a special fraternity. Anytime I see kids. Parents was more than four kids. It's kind of like there's a special winking going to not in a hey we're in the same boat and and You know you you WanNa keep them alive and it's it's you suddenly start to realize is by the three or four kid mark you know you can have one child and the kid can be perfect and by the time you have four you have kids. They have different personalities and different subsets. These are all four kids from the same family and you realize that good ones have nothing to do with you and the bad ones. Maybe don't have anything to do with you. Also that It kinda breaks your spirit but I I I found that even with four for me is spending one on one time with my kids. And and Ah trying to be diligent about that so about three years ago. My Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. And so my my relationship with my dad began to. We're we're we're in this this kind of this last chapter of our of our relationship and made me Remember my childhood and so About three or four years ago we have a basically San Diego goals. We have a hockey team. That's in the AHL which is right below the NHL. And so I bought season tickets and so I started taking you know two seats and I rotate through the kids. So that I get one one in time with each kid and and just trying to you know rotate them through the hockey game. So that I'm being intentional about Spending one on one time with each the child as opposed to the whole clan. And so that's been really good for me and just Helping me kind of develop as a dad More of a nurturing funds sort of in a an environment where we can be shoulder to shoulder and and have have I heard one guy say once that quality time comes within quantity of time and so just making sure that. I'm putting quantity of time and with my kids. So that I can find quality moments and and The the quantity of time that I spend with them. Yeah Yeah I love that. Yeah it is just having four kids myself and it's definitely one of the things that I'm super. Observant about is the amount of kind of each individual each one of them individually and making sure that whether it's going to the library to go get a book for me. It's not really much to do with the first of the child now that I'm doing it with like their whole day and it really means a lot to them so It's something that I'm super observant about my in my my own parenthood. Here what do you got coming up. Next what kind kind of goals for yourself Well I I. I'm doing them I I I mean I right now Lord. Well that I'm Gonna I'm holding course where I'm at my church and and just you know if if God has it for me to stay here to re retirement and just in this season I'm very Planted with the with my kids. Just kind of there's a short and fast season I remember when my second daughter was born I I. I brought her to church for the first Sunday and there was an older gentleman at my church and he looked at me with tears in my eyes. And he's like brother she's gone already and I'm like dude. I just brought her home from the hospital. And you're like he's like I. His daughter had graduated from college that weekend. He's like it's over before you know it and it had a huge kind of impacting. So I recognize that this while it seems like we're in the trenches right now That they're they're going to be gone before we know it and so so I'm just is really trying to focus on on realizing how precious life is and how life can change in a moment and and life will change change quickly that You know especially my thirteen year old daughter. It's like Oh man we're like getting high school and you know like I think that you know within four or five years. She'll be transitioning out of the House to a collegiate environment is is You know it's kind of a sad thought it's like no you know. How did that happen so fast? So so I'm just enjoying the moment this season that I have now before it's Before they're all out of the house which will happen quickly. Yeah you may have punk Sean right there and gone with the last thing I liked when I ask I love to ask. All the data got on the PUCK is what type of advice you half of that new father or that about the be dad. WHO's out there listening? Oh what kind of advice you know I'd say it's to the father's I'd probably just say it's GonNa be okay. I encourage them to work hard. Provide for your kids leads Don't also at the same time don't don't don't succumb to the rat race of this life You don't like I see a lot. The Dow just killing himself trying to provide you know the the the sport I feel like sports has changed from when I I don't know I'm forty five and when I was younger it seemed like sports where for enjoyment and now it's I. It seems that sports has almost catapulted into a new new category. Where they're traveling they're doing all sorts of stuff? The parents are killing.