Matt, Partner, Asmat discussed on The Art of Charm

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

I've been firm that I'll only talk about the children or insist on written communication when I get in return is abusive language or long winded messages that are often not about the children. I have a new partner now and will only start a conversation of impacts that children. But when these conversations comes up, she uses them as an opportunity to unload, everything on me would love advice on how to deal with someone. I cannot completely cut out of my life. There's a lot going on here. I was let's start to dialogue about it. Yeah. First of all, this is unfortunate because there's children involved in anytime. There's total involved. We have a lot to lose with that. I would just say a lot of times, you know, we have in our mind. Oh, once children get involved will change behaviors. And we'll just put the children, I that very very rarely happens. So these problems were probably there before you had children. And then now it's being exacerbated by the factor no longer together, but you have children and not only that children end up being weapons against each other. And that's certainly not helpful for anybody. Just just looking it seems to me at least in Matt's case here that he's trying to have a relationship. He's trying to talk to her, and he certainly isn't getting anywhere part of me still wants to Asmat though, as has he allowed her to fully unload, everything that she needs to say and has he allowed her to fill that she's been heard, and he's fully recognizes all of those feelings, and now we have a dialogue for as he or she started these things has he just ran off Sam only interested and talking to if you wanna talk about the children cash, really so hard because as he's describing his acts like that could've been me very easily could have been me because when you hang onto those resentments, you know, you do the person just discuss you every time you see them or hear them you like just want to go off because you're in so much pain. And so it's hard because my advice to mount would be like, okay. And I agree with you. John. About like letting her have that full space in acknowledging those things, but at some point he has to detach from that. It's not his business to manage how she feels anymore. It's one of the hardest things is because obviously someone who shares children with and like he wants her to feel..

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