Soccer, Portland, Adam discussed on Dad Tired
Well I want to dive straight into today's episode and dive into what we're talking about today Eh on today's Sunday and it's actually my daughter's birthday. You may hear her screaming in the background because she just had her very first cupcake For the first time she's it just turned one year old and down so she got her first cupcake. We just did a little family celebration and she may lose her mind. I don't know how she's GonNa react to that I know there's like a trend that this may be a Portland thing you guys can reach out to me. Let me know as maybe a Portland thing but There's a trend where people are giving their kids now. like healthier alternatives jobs to cupcakes. Maybe your family does this. Maybe you're wiser than I am. And you give them like. I don't know like a cupcake Broccoli. Broccoli cupcake thing and dead spinach cupcake instead of like. I just went to Safeway man like I just went to the grocery store and picked up a chocolate cupcake and I gave it to my daughter. She's one so I don't know if I'm the worst parent the world world. She's never had that much sugar in her life and she's probably going to be screaming in the background. That's a tangent all that to say Today's her birthday and we're really excited about it. She she may be chaotic in the background. So bear with me. I'm dead tired. I'm still recording. This podcast My bedroom after all these years in our little home and it's chaos so thank you for your Dad Grace Today's Sunday yesterday was Saturday coach. My son's soccer game indoor soccer games on Saturday and we played a game yesterday yesterday and we got just destroyed. The other team beat us. I think it was like seven to one or seventy two. We got okay. Let's not lie actually know exactly what the scores it was. Seven not be real bad and so this is I've I've coached soccer games for years. Coach soccer teams for years. We played a lot of outdoor. We're you know not to like this. Sounds really dumb. Because they're eight years old but we've done very well in their little leagues and played soccer. We've always put good teams Coach good teams and the the the kids have done really well and had fun together. And I'm trying not to like just brag on kids right now because they're eight and it's really stupid but anyway we're we've normally really done very well and now we're playing. Indoor and the exact opposite is happening. We have not won a game. I think they've the opponents in the last three games of scored twenty six goals against us and we've scored a total of four. We're just getting destroyed like a big time taking a piece of humble pie here Thanksgiving giving week and In the last three weeks and we're just getting destroyed and yesterday we're playing a game and we're getting destroyed by the other team which has been kind of the normal for us the last couple of weeks and I'm like getting frustrated. The kids coaches kids for awhile. And I'm kind of getting frustrated McMahon. We know better like the. I've taught these kids for Awhile Tom for several years. They know how to play. AWW same position and I'm feeling myself get a little bit frustrating and at the end of the game as I'm kind of sitting there just watching the other team pound goals on us. I was thinking This isn't really the kid's fault like for one. They're eight and two. They're not trying to lose like no kids showed up today thing and now I'm just going to let the other kids beat us like all. The kids are trying gene whether they're doing the right thing or wrong. Or whatever like they're trying their best none of them showed up to lose and so then I had this thought of the person that's really blame. Here is me as a coach i. I can't blame these eight year olds need to look myself in the face and Look at my I look at my face in the mirror and really just say like men like what am I doing wrong. Am I doing something. Am I not coaching them. Well and is there something. That's falling short on me than I need to take ownership of so you fast forward. The reason we even tell you about the soccer stories because fast forward I leave the soccer game. I come home. Layla goes out with some ladies from our church to celebrate a birthday party. And I'm here with the kids kids and so it's just me and the three kids and the chaos pure chaos trying to feed them dinner. I've got a baby crying. I can literally hear my daughter screaming in the background right now I can hear her screaming. Remain in one room wondering she like getting into stuff and my other two kids wrestling around and the the couch is literally flipped over. Like I walk in from the kitchen and and I go into the living room and the couches flipped over. We have moving boxes everywhere because we have to move people to listen to podcasts. It's just everything is chaos and my first reaction is again frustration. Like the kids know better. Why are you being disobedient? Why are you guys acting so crazy before bed which I don't know what kind of universal universal truth this is but like every kid just loses their mind thirty minutes before bedtime And it's just the most frustrating thing the world has been dealing with this for the whole have been a dad so anyway they're just losing their mind. Couches literally flipped over. My daughter's like digging in the trash my one year olds digging in the trash just chaos and I'm frustrated. I yell upset. I tell them. Go the room. Go Brush your teeth get ready for bed. And I'm putting them the bed and I put them to bed kind of like frustrated frustrated and I have this long speech with him and everyone kind of goes to bed grumpy and then I'm laying in bed. My wife still our Enjoying the night with her friends and so I'm just laying in bed in quiet quiet and I just think to myself the same thought that just had with the soccer team and it really is like how much of this is on them. And how much of this is on me as the dad that like. What do I need to own as the dad here because ultimately their kids and they will follow leadership and of course every kid is naturally naturally by because of San the fall there naturally rebellious and they're going to make bad decisions all the time but really like my first reaction is to blame all the time and I think it's easy for us as husbands and DADS to find herself frustrated at our kids when they're not being obedient or maybe at our wives and our marriage when things aren't thriving having when things feel chaotic on but I think it's super important for us as DADS to really ask ourselves? How is my leadership Our first first tendency is always to blame like this is. This isn't just a youth thing or meeting. Our kids thing like our first tendency is humans has always been to blame. Listen to this. Listen Genesis. Three verse nine. This is actually right. The very first time we see sin enter the picture Adam and eve decide to turn their back away from God to make their own decisions. It's decide I wonder. If God's design isn't the best and of I wonder if I should kind of make my own rules and do the life the way that I want to do life and then they sin and this is what happens in verse nine Genesis Chapter Three but the Lord God called to the man and said to him where are you and he said I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid great because I was naked and hid myself. He said who told you that you were naked. Have you eaten from the tree which I commanded you not to eat. The man said listen to this first of all the man said the woman whom you gave to me. She gave me the fruit of the tree and I ate verse thirteen. Then the Lord got to the woman what is it that you've done. The woman said the serpent deceived me and I ate super super fast and fascinating. God says to Adam what have you done he says. Well that's this woman. You gave me giving me a better woman. I probably wouldn't have eaten the fruit turn fault. And then he asked the woman eve. Hey what did you do. Did you give some fruits. Your husband will you gave me the serpent. The serpent's here had he not been here. I probably wouldn't have the fruit. Everyone's passing blame to another person. It's literally been in the very first pages of the story of humanity from the very start When when we do something that's frustrating? We get in trouble or something that we don't like our first reaction is to blame. Just I mean you know this girl like you've got kids and you ask your kids. What did you do the first thing my kids do this all the time well? He made me while she made me while they started it. And we get mad at our kids for that right like Croatia until our kids. Hey own up take responsibility. What did you do? Is there something you need to be responsible for. Apologize for but just watch yourself and how much you wants to blame other people. This happens to me all the time you know when it happens most like when you're most aware that you are blaming as usually usually when you get hurt this is the funniest thing that we all do this like you. You could stub your toe in the middle of an empty living room. When you're by yourself and you just the first thing like who put the WHO? Who put the couch there? Who What Kid? Why did you like? We're just immediately starting to blame somebody like somebody else's responsible for this It's our first reaction isn't usually comes out when we're hurt but we always find ourselves when we're frustrated like who can I pass the blame off to and so when our kids are being disobedient when in our marriage isn't thriving when our household feels chaotic. Are I thought like naturally this is just you and your human sinful. DNA your first thought is who who can I be mad at who is responsible for this because certainly the subconscious thought is. It's certainly not me like there's no way I would be responsible for this and I guess what I'm kind of revealing myself or with the Holy Spirit really revealed in me just last night as I'm coaching these kids and soccer and then kind of had a more personal snow bigger experience as I get home and I see chaos in my home. My first thought was like who am I. Who can I blame? And then the holy spirit is kindness really revealed to me like what what is. Is it in your leadership that you need to own. Is there something here and you. Is there some lack of leadership in you that that may be contributing.