LA, Scorpio, New York discussed on Just The Sip

Just The Sip
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

I just feel like my sole purpose in life is to help other people. So if I'm here and I can lend a hand to one woman who lends a hand. Set an axe and it just keeps going then. I did my job. You know so for me. I would say that's why I went through it and I had to learn about myself and I needed to grow one entity to become better. Yeah sometimes we get stuck in our own ways you know. We don't grow because we just usually. Everything's good so so God often. I feel throws obstacles your way to see how you can grow them. Come about a person. Yeah a few years back. You tragically lost the father of your son. Sudden Tennyson to a senseless act of violence. Did you ever in your life from Magin that you would be a single mother. No extremely hard I A I come from my my family's split. So I have a stepmom Stepdad. Mom Dad seven like I got the whole Shebang and I was like you know when I get older. I had a great life growing up and I was like. I'm going to never get a divorce and I'm going to get married and I'm going to have my kids you know like I just had this idea of what life would look like and it didn't turn out like that you know. I never could have imagined that his dad wouldn't be here to share him growing up in the moments you know with me. That's extremely hard. I mean like my kid asked for his dad. My kid is he gets it. You know you would think a three year old is like doesn't but he's smart and he misses his dad and he wants to see pictures and he wants to see videos. And it's very tough. Were you planning on having those conversations with him later in life and did it just hit you that he was like? Oh Wow at three years old. You're ready to talk about this. How are you preparing yourself to have those tough conversations? It was going to come. I didn't know when it started at to where he was like as much is he alive and then they kind of now. We're at MIT. Ed I want my dad. I Miss My dad. You know like in those moments wake up in the middle of the night could be at anytime so I wasn't sure win and I'm still not 'cause it's the journey you know when someone is not here anymore and physical the explaining. You just have to keep going because you want your kid to always trust you before anyone else. So it's it's going to be an on going journey for me and it's not easy but you know yeah it's interesting because you said you had this plan for your life you had like. Oh yeah because when you have a plan by the way God loves to throw arrange in it and you know that it's not GonNa go according to me but you know you had this white picket fence and I'm GonNa meet the guy and I'm going to get married I'm going to have a baby was perfect. How were you as an adult and as someone who's older and more lived? How are you changing that for yourself? Are you still putting that pressure on yourself to have that perfect life? I don't want perfect anymore. You know what I mean. I think I want what makes sense for me and I just met a point where I would I always say. Never say never no more because you just never know what's GonNa Happen. Yeah we have plans. People who have passed away have plans. You literally have to live day by day and I to your best and that's just what it is like Atkins Plan but God. I always laugh because of my book. God has a plan. You know what I mean like. It's so many things that I thought would go one way. That completely just went the way went. I'm I'm okay with it now. I've grown and I've just realized I like you know it's not going to happen. You do things however it does happen. You could put in all your best effort and whatever comes out of that. That's how it's going to go. Yeah no it's true. But I'm like I'm a Scorpio. I like control was supposed to be Scorpio. And His dad was a Scorpio. My Dad's a Scorpio. So you knew how the score human work. I'M GONNA Double Scorpio. We like control. We'd like to know what the plan is like. I feel like when things are thrown off or interest on my system I lost my dad really eighteen. No and it's so I get what your son's going through and I get what you're going through in the wondering that I do all the time about him. But when life throws a wrench. It's kind of hard for me to pick back up. It's hard for me to get back on that biking keep on going especially when a ranch. That big comes in your way. What advice would you have for people who have gone through loss or who are raising kids on their own right now? I would just say it's a process and not to put too much pressure on yourself right because you want to just say. I'm strong strong but it's okay to have those vulnerable moments to where it's like okay. I don't today's the day where I'm kind of sad about this mad about it because you go through different emotions with loss you let yourself go through. Have anger and despair. Or you're going to find somewhere else to let it out at right where it's GonNa come out the wrong moment like I don't know why I was so angry. You know what I mean like you like you know what happened. I'm morning this and I'm going through that and it could just come through so many different ways so I just thought it was important to allow your emotions to be what they are like a flow like letting it flow dealing with it taming. It making sure you're still living positive unhappy but allow yourself like some days. I'm like Oh like I'm really sad like I was engaged at one. Point had a son. Utah have my son and his dad is longer here. And it's sometimes you like. I just can't believe this is my life but right what it is that this is what it is but I feel like a lot of against speak for black homes and I've heard this about people who grew up ethnic homes. We sometimes sweep a lot of things under the rug and we don't talk about things and we don't deal with things. How are you? Was that your life growing up. Did you guys ever talk about hard facts or was it one of those like we? Don't talk about this as a family. We spoke I feel like my all of my parents like they were pretty good with whatever you feel. Kinda speak up. I'm really good communication with like friends like I'm GonNa tell you how we know how you feel. I want you to tell me how you feel so we can either agree to disagree and move on or whatever if I don't like it cool. Whatever right now we'll be going eat. I just that's just me like I wanna know what's going on. Don't hold nothing for me. So New York. It's Amy Buddy. I can't believe he didn't wear a pair of Tim's I am then New York. La No. I don't hate it. I don't hate it. La I always say I came from New York but La Kinda helped. Raise me right. Because I was living here from like nineteen to like twenty five. You guys are like my neighbors. Yeah he's Murray and used to live across new Grove August. Yes we lived there for a couple of years. I was balanced all around La. I was in Hollywood. I was downtown. I was in Beverly Hills. I was deposited every year. I was just moving around moving. Yeah it was fun. Yeah so I. I learned about fitness out here. I did my all of that. New York had mijas eating doritos. And whatever over here and I was like okay so brown rice you try and tell me okay. No why no my flower foods. I had to change it up. You got snatched worked on out here. You got real snatched. What was it. Was it the way you looked? Was it the way you feel? What made you go down that fitness road. I was super insecure. Growing up like Alan like Like everyone around look different. I went to A Jewish elementary school actually from K. Through eight only like two hundred kids and a whole school. Everyone looked like me there. Some got these hips. But everyone don't look like right. I don't know I feel fat. You know and my siblings were smaller than me. So for a while I dealt with like just not unlike when I look like and then when I got to. La is like go. Like I can change this by working out eating right and I was like cool. I'm going to do that and I just. I've been on that like path ever since I worked on my whole pregnancy. I love working out. It's just like fun for me. You box a lot. I Love Boxing. Tell me about because when you lose that I five and you get into their dress size down. It feels like you just like bead rocky as I did it. I did it but a lot of girls get caught up in the numbers. I don't do it. I'm the scales scales. I don't WanNa know what my doctor but like. Don't even tell me that number you just go by the close I feel and what I look like. I'm like you know if I know if I've been slipping too far to the left or right you gotta chill out right. That's it is just a little a little pep talk. I don't really I have a scale but I just decided for me. Personally I would be caught up in a numbers and now I'm sitting there like up to date. I don't WanNa do that. Yeah nope well. It must be harder for you because I grew up with a cousin who was my age and he was a study. He played football. He played basketball. He was to look like tomorrow more when we were ten. I was like I was like a real owns right. Fourteen and a lot of times got compared to him and it made me very very insecure. Did that ever happen to you when you were growing up with? What your system Manasseh like. She's the slimmer one. She's more like you know. Got More than you know a little bit but I think a lot of it was just my own like insecurity just me like feeling like that and just make an observations from around me just feeling now. I feel like people get insane with I g when it comes to their looks in my them doing the most on how you keep it authentic. I just include people what I do like basically. It's like if I'm waking up. It's me I'm my Pulo filtered. I don't care I want that. Paris's comment something. Geez you know no makeup on his money you know gotta give you something to look at but yeah just like I do. That's always me like I've before. Instagram was even where it's at now and they weren't the people on the platform I had it. I was enjoying myself taking pictures of things and then it just grew like the natural following. Because I like I've had instagram since like it started the dawn on there like this thing because I love photos so I've always been a personal like keep photos and videos like I was doing it way back even if you look at my fitness video on youtube from like Gbd's way back probably like no one was carrying about Elvis on twitter. Feed back in the day when you were doing a Tony Pony because weren't even a thing we were just doing a pony..

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