TA, Bill Burr, Chris Farley discussed on Opie Radio

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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Oh don't look at my notes now. I didn't look at your notes. I'm shocked that you just said my name right. Why because everyone says cure sin like I did show yeah and he said it the whole time and I don't correct people because I have such low self image? Whatever so you really happy that I send your name right well? It's weird I mean bill burr produced my comedy special and he said Pearson in the special literally literally and it's out there and I didn't even correct you know you've made it if bill burs working with after what you know you're an overnight sensation aren't suggest side now he's like he saw me perform a retraces benefit right right and he was like what the fuck cab. I haven't seen you in fifteen years. I worked my ass off claw. Me Out of nowhere was like you deserve special. I want to produce it. Oh Beulah so cool that he did that. I got scared that you took a peek in my notes because I anything prepare like Chris Farley. This would actually be kind of funny. Jewish lesbian. Imagine Kaik Dyke was in a sorority. I'll narrow sober so bad yeah. It's a fact this is my God. I was molested in fact Cam real. Yeah I say on stage. If anything's GONNA keep you fat. It's being molested in fact cab adulation I asked for because my clothes were tight couldn't go seriously it was. I was like fourteen fifteen so molested well. I can't say I was molested because I yes. I was a kid but I was participated in it. It was a counselor also. Also you want it wasn't like why are you you know but yeah I was underage. Yes and how old were wait. It was a he yeah so this was before you i. This is why I didn't come out for a long because I don't like labels. I mean I'm married to a woman but I never ever wanted to be seen as like a lesbian comic because they've been with men. Do I watched straight porn like I'm into both but I prefer women. Can I don't like labels but yourself a bisexual yes. I lean more towards Eh okay but now I'm like. Oh God it's tough. Oh really woman saying that but it really it's a lot like I'm very male and a lot of ways so it's hard what's tough about women women. I just deal with the whole passive aggressive. You know what's wrong. Nothing like I'm the you know a lot of times the guy in the relationship like she'll just shut down. I'm like what the fuck happened. What did I do? What's you know it takes a while so for me to be forgiven for like little thing the whole thing okay? I'm always doing the wrong thing. I'm always I'm not cleaning enough. I literally my friends talk to me and I'm like I go through the exact same thing I was going to end with fat campsie. It's at the end but now you gotTA. That's the beginning now. You've got to tell the story so you were fourteen. How old is he? How old was the counselor? I think thirtysomething Oh yeah I fucked up. I know I I'm going to say like twenty Kony twenty one word sort of I don't WanNa say it's more the problem was the problem I was fourteen or fifteen yeah and this has happened to a lot of my friends. Look how sad you look now. No this is Amy Candy said on his penis. Imagine Charleston Jews crotch now. Could you walk me through this. Yes I mean I I loved okay. If that's GONNA would probably not your listeners but there's always girls in the audience that are like I've changed my ways a little bit I got I got more females. Listen to me. That's good. It's kind of Nice. It's great. It's important you don't want one. I mean yeah in the crazy days of opie and Anthony would do all these live shows and stuff and you could count the women on one. I've opened for a lot of guys where it's like where and if the women go there they're not even into the comic you I know. They're doing it further boyfriend or husband exactly but I love I loved camp. It was that's why when people get upset that I went. I'm like I had the best time in my I really did have fun. I was with great kids because they were all insecure and fat yeah so they were overly nice because they were fat yeah so it was it was fun. So what was this had to be the eighteen eighties right yeah all right because I don't think you the the reason I ask that is because I don't think you could send your kid to something called fat camp anymore. They would have to name it something else under the guise that they're going away to maybe lose weight and get healthier overweight yeah. Can you imagine overweight cam yeah yeah. You can't say fat camp anymore but but it is fat Cam. I know it is and it's fucking amazing. I I really try to talk about it on stage with people get so upset but you know how funny it is every morning at six A._M.. Thank Benton and had a lineup. It was like a line of elephant we'd hold onto each other's drunks and we had to walk three miles a day yeah but I you know what I much well. They don't you get it where this is the best part it was. It's in the Berkshires in Massachusetts. My family has a house there so I grew up going there my whole life. It's a lot of Jewish people from New York New Jersey who have houses there so might might aunts and uncles my mom's dad's friends so they would drive by while I was walking. Oh my God yeah and they they were just like I just feel like a Mercedes go by amd Barbara Hijazi so but we it was a lot of fun and I was into sports. I wasn't even that FAG. I honestly think going to that and going. Nutritionists and being on stuff made me a lot heavier right wasn't even fat. I probably ten pounds I need because it puts a thought in your head and what was your mom who felt felt always both but mostly my dad he was ABC's obsessed with weight stuff. Yes yeah yeah a lot about looks and my family and was her goal at fat camp to lose a certain certain amount of pounds before you even in the summer and then you had a every Saturday you had to line up on L. in bathing suits yes in in the cafeteria in the whatever it's called the cafeteria. That's like biggest luna maintenance slaughterhouse. You're the best she's the best you don't laugh at your life. It's sad I mean because it was a great experience but I mean I'm sure it fucked me up for sure but why the bathing suit. That's you know what I try to wear as least as you possibly can weight so you weigh less yeah so maybe they would leave you. People would smuggle candy like it was drug deals like hey I got to they'll give you two twizzlers for that. Snickers it was I was not getting yeah so you gotTa tell me about the counselor and how that came about. We was very good looking and he I was a teen and I was insecure and he was very inappropriate and hit on me and I ended up fooling around with. I mean I didn't like have sex with him or anything but <hes> it yeah. That's what ended up. I think he he was thin so I mean after years later. I'm like why why did this guy work as a counselor at FAC. It wasn't even a nutritionist. Nothing could explain why he was a Chubby chaser right but also molester that term is okay anymore but it used to be called a Chubby so you don't say it if it's not a Jew worry about what you say and Dan got so much money. Don't matter yeah so does my father. I think that's why like I just I just do this for fun. Now I used to lose sleep worried about getting fired and writing about not saying the wrong thing. That was a joke but you know now it's true. I know what you I'm just like. I don't let people silence me. That's why I do this because I was talking to mark Norman the other day well. It's been what he just texted me. Oh really where to go up in the elevator elevator. Yeah we should invite him to do a little blurb Tessema us but <hes> yeah he's great we were talking about stuff and I said the word tranny and he went and he's a comic. That's pretty edgy is like you say that and I didn't even know that that's another word we're not it allowed to say I had no idea I didn't know that either really yeah. I didn't know you can't say tranny. I don't know I don't know what the right and wrong. I feel like it's all wrong now. I can. I feel like as long as there's not hate in your heart and I agree sure okay yeah I do too. There are some words. I don't think people should just be you know saying in front of kids and stuff. Oh yeah absolutely right but I still wouldn't sell them not to say it does that. Make sense like lately believe in free speech each but I encourage my kids to curse yeah I mean I don't encourage them to curse but I don't WanNa be that person the here curse word I have to shut down everything and explained to Mike. It's just words in the end I go look because they me and my wife curse a lot and we don't mean you too and they're and they're always on our case. You guys Kershaw and stuff and I'm like. I don't care if you guys hear curse words but I do care if you curse because you will get in trouble at school right but I don't want them to think it's such a powerful. Oh my God thing if they let a curse words. It's not it's not that I think you're right. If there's hate in your heart and you're saying in like a mean-spirited way it's I don't love it. Do you know you can't say Irish twins anymore. Now that's racist. Who said that some other person might have been desma show? Somebody told me you can't say I feel like I've heard him say that. Maybe it wasn't him then but someone said you can't say Irish twins. That's racist. Thank you can't Ansah. It really said that to me. I guess that means what Irish people fuck a lot. I have no yeah I mean they're wasted I I when I joke about Jewish people. Everyone gets upset not everyone but a a lot of people besides Jewish people Jewish people die laughing and other the Non Jews that probably hate us. I'm serious. They all go and I'm like I'm allowed to say this. These are my people all. I'm allowed to their so fucking stupid. It's crazy I mean I can't follow..

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