Listen: TOM, Tom Whispered, Tom Colombo discussed on Israel Story
"Nothing deafening silence seconds turned into minutes and before long Tom was grinning from ear told you so bobby he got up and headed toward the wall to retrieve the grenade but I reached out and grabbed him by the collar Tom I started I know I made a deal with you but now we have to call the police tom cried foul play what you promised look tom this was one of the dumbest ideas I've ever had I know there are explosives inside because I felt them maybe the grenade didn't explode because it was rushed you're old navy all it needs is one more sharp movement one more knock and it will detonate you pick it up and Tom was pounding but I was determined somehow finally what I said began to make sense to him maybe the pot was wearing off anyway I was going to get the bomb squad but that was easier said than done I knew that if I were to call the police we'd be asked what happened I couldn't tell the police that I the idea of soldier in full uniform had pulled the pin on a grenade and thrown it into the Muslim quarter let's just say that wouldn't play well on the morning news and it would definitely not sit well with my commander. I told Tom we needed to coordinate our stories here's what happened I said I came visit you you were playing solitaire I went out to the roof for a breath of fresh air while you finish up the game I found the next to the tomb and I told you I was going to get the piece. That's it you got it. Tom said he understood but since Tom also spent the evening smoking pot I asked him to repeat and rehearse the story growing up I had watched enough episodes of Columbo that I could imagine exactly what would come next a cigar smoking detective rubbing his chin with his thumb trying to catch us in a minor inconsistency I could literally here ask one more thing Sir I almost got chest one last question young man did you I go to the police and then tell Tom you found the grenade or did you I tell Tom you found the grenade and then when you went to the police I knew we needed to get the time line right so I repeated the Cronyn all g over and over again remember Tom I told you I found the grenade first and only then that I go to the police I got it I got it he said still annoyed at me for depriving him of his prize Souvenir I'm not an idiot I didn't have to go far to find a soldier to whom I could report the incident the entrance to the Kotel was right around the corner from the dorm and there was always a soldier standing guard there I caught my breath and went up to him as if it was the it's natural thing in the world I told the soldier that I had found an old world war two grenade nearby I asked him if he could call a bomb disposal experts to get rid of it and I specifically tweeted that he not make a big deal out of it he looked at me like I was insane and he called it in the highlight of his shift I'm sure maybe of his entire army service within minutes what seemed like hundreds of policemen and soldiers descended upon the Old City a military helicopter began circling overhead sweeping the courtyards alleyways with a cone of white light how did the bomb squad to the grenade they placed in a bomb proof box and took it down to the Kotel plaza was immediately cleared the police took me Tom and the few dozen other late night governors into a nearby tunnel a couple of cops stay close to us to make sure we didn't bolt before the a question us robby you are such a schmuck. Tom Whispered to me the grenade wouldn't have blown up you made such a big deal nook Tom turned white the severity of it just went down began to sink in I could almost see the thoughts running through his brain this was the grenade he had been throwing against the wall in catch with and hanging above his bed while he slept the police marched us up the stairs towards the Arab shook our destination the Kisla an old Ottoman police station right next to Jaffa Gate Tom was unusually quiet as we began walking and his eyes were darting all around he mumbled to me that he needed some pot to calm down Tom I replied you realize we're being escorted by the police on the way away police station right that didn't seem to deter him he told the copy was cold and seeing as we were going to pass by his dorm building anyway he asked if he could go upstairs and grab a jacket to my surprise the cop agreed when Tom came down he had a big grin on his face and a joint and a lighter in his pocket when we entered the Kisla we replaced in a cold empty sal with two cats they swung the cell door shut and locks in we were told that we would have to wait until the detectives came and that it could take a few hours just as soon as the cops walked away Tom took office arain jacket and stuff that at the foot of the cell door he then took out the joint and lit up Tom are you fucking nuts I said in a frantic whisper we're in a jail cell and you're smoking pot and besides why the hell did you put your sweater down on the ground by the cell door oh always stuff it under the door he said so people outs side can smell the pot I looked at Tom Smoke as it wafted through the iron bars does this look like a normal door to you I said it's bars last bars they can smell your pot in Amman a few hours later the detectives showed up we were taken out of the cell placed in two different rooms to be interrogated separately I quietly prayed that Tom would stick to the script a short stocky cop sat down at a table in a small empty room and said to me in Hebrew Betterman what we're doing on the roof tonight well began fully prepared I went to visit my in Tom but he was busy playing cards so I was just walking around on the rooftop until his game was over and then I found the grenade I honestly thought you would say okay you're free to go but that didn't happen did you have a flashlight with you tonight he asked looking right me no I said wondering where he was going with this well there was no moon tonight so how did you see where you're going on the roof I have good eyesight I answered as I pushed my thick eyeglasses a little higher up on my nose did you have an umbrella with you tonight he continued no do you always walk around in the rain without an umbrella all these questions were beginning to add up and started weighing heavily on my chest it was only drizzling I said and I actually found rain quite refreshing he clearly wasn't buying it you wear glasses and it was raining he went on wasn't hard to see what the raindrops on your lenses this I got by was the best answer I could come up with now he went in for the kill so you mean to tell me that on a rooftop with street lights on a night with no moon with no flashlight and with raindrops on your glasses you look down into a grave site surrounded by walls and saw a small black the need now that's a good question I admitted trying to buy some time so I could think somehow we had covered that one in our cover story I scramble to come up with a plausible explanation well I was afraid to tell you this before I began but I had jumped down into the grave area to see the tombstone up close and nats founded were you the one who threw the grenade of course not I said Okay but just one more thing when you found the grenade and did you go right away to the police or did you. I tell Tom What you had found I smiled he was my Colombo after aw and Tom and I had this down I open my mouth and I said I ice whole Tom that I had found a grenade and then I went the police at very moment the door swung open and the other detective pop this Heddon you'll see he said to my interrogator the American doesn't speak Hebrew and my English is shit to use beginning nope yes he said what should we do the other one asks wake up Rami it's four I am yes he shouted you want to wake up of rummy of four in the morning he'll kill us this I realized my get out of jail free moment I cleared my throat and head in the most authoritative Hebrew I could summon I needed a berm lead on E. Hologram Latham is speaking I can translate for you there was a pregnant pause in the room they looked at each other then impatiently at their watches then shifted their gaze to me and shrugged. Okay the guy said I'll bring him in before I knew it Tom was sitting next to me they asked me to ask them all kinds of questions aversions were aligned in the story was adding up till they got to the last question ask Tom Colombo ordered me if after you've found the grenade you told him about it and then went to the police or you went to the police first and then told him I turn to Tom and said in English the detective wants to know if I told you about the grenade I and then went to the police or the other way around Tom recognized that I had prepared him for the exact question and he broke out into his big stupid grin loudly and assertively he said Robbie I you mentioned the police to report the grenade and then you came back to tell me about it it was the exact opposite of what we had rehearsed Tom looked at me all satisfied with himself I on the other hand was speechless too afraid look at detectives I imagined the worst we were toast I'd be kicked out of the army and we'd both be called Jewish terrorists and thrown in jail but nothing happened utter silence I slowly turned towards the detectives trying to evaluate whether they had understood Tom's reply Nada Zilch F s they just stared at me waiting for me to translate muttered. Tom said that I told him first and then went to the police Columbo and his partner looked at each other and with a tired glance they said okay you're free to go."