Virgo, Whitney, MTV discussed on Good For You

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He put them all in one building. So we all know where they are. I'm fine with that. We'll be friends. Yeah like you all get it. Otherwise the cult's going to be all around us. I'm fine with them. Keep them in a building Maroon them. They've been quarantined for years But I I. It's interesting how when something I don't pray really much but when something bad happens I am talking to God like when one of my dogs got sick It always starts with. I know it's been why right. Are you still there all of a sudden? I think he's like a man with a microphone and headphones. I and I apologize for how long it's been. Yeah because in my head. God-like KEEPS LIKE LEDGER. And he's been waiting for you and all he needs an AFP. This all accepting God needs to open with an apology right and it's always like I'm sorry it's been so long right. Think it'd be crazy. I like the idea of God with his feet up on a desk eating a sandwich and reading a paper and then he here's your voice comes on and you're like he's like Oh shit. Oh Yeah Whitney what's up? I'm sorry I didn't think you're you're GonNa do this again. I wrote you off a while ago. Removal also I loved it in my hands. He can hear me but didn't know I was busy right like just like I've been really busy. Things have been crazy slam. You know me you know me you know I am. You made me like you. All people know this like I sort of like Cherry pick. Yeah what did he knows and doesn't know and then I and then I started bartering. I'm like you can have my car. You can take my house like as if he wants me to hit his van. Mo- yeah so that my dog stays alive and I start telling God all the things I'll give him to not let my dog die. Yup Yeah I've started doing that too where I might. I will say More commonly I will. I will pray for what I want. And then when it doesn't look like I'm GonNa get I go. I go okay okay. All right all right this is this is this is okay okay all right okay. Yeah meet you halfway. I see where this is going on an idiot fair. Let me get ahead of this so okay. So it's it's not going to fire me. I couldn't so he's so he's not he's not going to love me. The way deserve You're trying to make me stronger. I see what you're doing you're doing I see what you're doing. I would just ask that you speed it up so this this lasts less time this suffer or giving me a new closer this past. I see what's going on. Okay thank you thank you. Thank you God but if you could just refund my money it's just so weird. I how many times I have prayed either in the last year. I said if there is something better the you are trying to the whole the rejection is Jackson form. I go if that's what's going on here. Yeah could we speed that thing? I'm with you. I'm all in? I just needed to have faster. Yeah that's all. I just can't be here that long I'm surrendering to God's will as long as it's on my turn. Yes forty years from dozen can't do it. Maybe eight maybe eight years not attention span. I'm a lenny younger we watched. Mtv cribs like our attention span is just quick. I can't take this. I'm dying. Yeah I decided I'M GONNA die at thirty four so I know that you make those decisions but this one I feel like is up to me. Look it's all in your hands and you know what's best and everything to your plan. Pitch I just I just have a pitch but if I could just what seem what I think what seems like a good idea to me. Yeah is it. I know you have the best ideas. You also made me there. Four probably have some good ideas too. Because I'm in your image so let me pitch something back to you. It makes more sense. It just doesn't coming your abusive boss. Total. Who's GonNa give you a job at the newspaper when your internship is over? I have to let you go some point. I was going to ask you to hyper color. Shirt as hypo color hyper color. Is that the one. That's all scrunchy and it gets really small off the shoulder and terrible looks like it was made of a thousand nipples made out of a used tissue. It was so bad tiny shirt. That will look like we're going to doll. And then you put it on charges out. Yeah it looks like you bought a piece of paper and through it. Yeah this is a shirt that was in the nineties. That was if you sweat through it it would change colors you it was carson. Everyone that you know that has cancer got it from those jokes. I I found out my mom died Taco bell or something but closure from this. How would you describe your style? I mean when stylist isn't My Best Best I can. I can say I think Put together what unassuming. Yeah yeah afraid to look too. I like simple and hopefully we feel like you need to cover yourself. Yes I'm always. I've always thought that about you that I'm always covering because I used to do that. A lot too and I still do. I still do but it. Maybe just because what I see I feel like you. It's not like armor but it's like this is okay. Yeah agree no I like it is and I see it because I like that too. But it's like I'll see you and your like your leather jacket and like that's your comfort zone like it's like a little bit of a second skin. Yeah if I were a Hoodie on sage. I'm like ooh look at me. I I will not show my arms onstage. Help never can't do ever done. It can't do it wouldn't would you would you? What world thank you so much. Better bizarre I know I could never do it but I also just like the consistency of the same thing. I know I'm I'm no I tried to wear quarries onstage. Recently that were like cutting bell-bottom and cute split them really bent over split him. I was like this is why I wear the same thing on stage every single. I know it's not gonNA rip. I know how I'm going to be able to move. I know what I can do with my hands. Why mix it up yeah? There's something to that we agree. It's who you know that episode of the office where Jim is putting quarters in Dwight's phone so that it'll just build up the weight and it will take them all out and then it'll hit him in the face. That's why I feel if I like just stopped wearing a jacket on the day that I would gesture to freely and just like boomerang back and hit myself in the face. 'cause I'm like I'm not used to no weight on my arms. When's your birthday November four? I don't know anything about that show. I'm Scorpio now we're just hanging out what are you. Do you know what you are timber forth. Do you know what that is Virgo? Okay which ones I think. That's good people look virgo is like calling someone con to this point. Lazy Kind Scorpio Really. Yeah everyone's like people arpaio. Basically it's like saying you're vindictive asshole how is that? What's Yeah Scorpios are supposed to be like very like into vengeance and sexual manipulation? Okay which I'm like. Yes look Christian vixen and I definitely am. Petty is definitely hate you I. It's just funny because like whatever somebody wants to accuse me of being like too much of a virgo and then like why and they start listening and they're like because you're always busy and you're never rounding never available. Just want to hang out with you know. I make time this is not. I mean I think virgos and Scorpios are pretty compatible though. I think we're similarly intense. Yes I only know that because somebody asked Salmon I on I g live and he's Virgo. Oh wants his birthday. I think it's August. It's lay dog. I don't want to say the wrong one best. Yeah very anal retentive. I guess well it's because it's also I mean I have a whole theory about this about it's not about the month you're born. It's about essentially the other holidays that existed in the same month. You were born and what other things you had to compete with. Oh Sam and myself your boyfriend and I. We both had our birthday basically around the first day of school. Oh that we had to be academic on our birthdays like my birthday was September fourth. I was in my first day of school when it was my birthday. I was working on my birthday. That's set the stage for the type of person I was GonNa be simple like and then. Leo's that are August late July August during the summer. They got to have their birthday party on vacation. They're outgoing you know. They got to have birthday parties and be the center of attention so they got used to it. You know. I was competing with Halloween and Thanksgiving didn't have a chance. Didn't have you had to become funny. You had to become intense. Yeah it had to be indicative of manipulative in order to get someone to pay attention to you. Oh my God you're right and then January January capricorn is like they're also very academic very serious work really hard. They had birthdays. Minoan had any money left after Christmas and new years and no one had time to celebrate their birthdays in January. That's when we're back to work. You need to write another book. Vary the moon in the stores. According to win I feel like that's why like in your most impressionable time what you had to compete with on your birthday is what forms your psyche. How have you not written a book called Whitney come into my office? I mean that to me is my favorite advice. I've heard in a while. Just pretend to believe in yourself because it's also like that's my thing about any people that have low self esteem especially actors and Comedians of like. I'm so scared like pretend you're not. Nobody thinks you are act like you're not. Yeah and then let your also pretending you're faithful to your wife and were buying it. It's true pretend you believe in yourself. I'm and let the people who fall in love with you slowly. Find out the you or a crippled mess of anxiety. You're pretending you can afford that car. Why can't you pretend to like yourself for five minutes? Oh my God. That's so true. Such a bummer. How many male comedians cheat on their partners? I mean look. It's such a bummer. To me it seems like it's waning a little bit. I mean when I started it was yeah I mean it was flagrant when I started standup. We'll now anyone you sleep with on the road could reach out to be a correspondent on.

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