Creatives are using comedy and humor to cope with grief trauma and loss. We hope that you too can find some relief today with a few laughs before we get started. I'd also like to thank our patrons. Luis moya to core stevenson fields. Sarah long and trenton bennett for their support on patriotic. We couldn't produce the show without you today. My guest is jc coakley. You may recognize from shows like a comedian in grief. Why with hannibal burress key and peele chelsea lately and last comic standing j. c. Thank you so much for coming on the show chat with me today. Oh absolutely thank you. I actually found you after. My husband died when i was frantically. Googling things like grief comedy. Because i was feeling very alone in my coping mechanism and i was so grateful and fortunate to come across your special. A comedian in grief makes me happy little personal. Congratulations thank you. I couldn't keep them. We all can't keep him. Sweetie i really. I have kids just a more a way to try and dispatched before it took over. So i totally understand. I'm glad you're able to find it excessively i. I didn't Comedy in grief when this first happened to me. So i'm glad that in went there and i want to go to my work. My husband and i actually were using comedy. Dark humor to cope. He was terminally ill. We work in the space. We produced a comedy podcast together. That was a good chunk of what we did working in entertainment together and for me it was just like instinctual. I found his body on our kitchen floor and i had originally planned on taking my life because he was the only person that had ever loved me unconditionally. He was the only family i had and i started just making dark jokes about it to the trauma specialist. Who was there and she started laughing. The emt started laughing. Because they're sickos you know that's what they do to cope too is just make dark jokes. They got it and that's originally. What prevented me from going through with it was hearing that laughter which you can probably relate to. You know you hear that laughter. It's like validation hakoah okay and my thought was like you know if i can't if i if nobody's gonna love me anymore. I can at least make people laugh. So maybe there is something worth sticking around for but sweet. I think there's no one's gonna love you hate woman that's immediately where when but you didn't have that same experience it for you. It actually took you months before you started laughing again after you lost your sister. Am i remembering that right. Yeah it actually took me years. I would say Fister was one of many millions of americans involved in the process of the opioid crisis and it opened. Crisis is something that has taken over many small towns and cities on all sides of the aisle left right center. And at first. When you're a kid growing up you see people taking pain pills. We laugh about it but as it progressed. She moved more into harder drugs. And then my mom found my sister dead from heroin because of an overdose Choose age of thirty four and it happened when i was on the road and holy shit now. My family members was a heroin addict. What how did that happen. And that that was just so unfunny to me. It was just one of the most unfunny unfair super like an. I've heard people. I use russell brand a lot like he gets to survive wine but lindsay died funny to me but obviously he's been through it and he was able to kick the habit but there's so many people that don't get that lucky And yet it wasn't it was not funny It only was harder to do comedy work. Because at the time. I was touring and i didn't know the purpose of even writing a joke because that was my first real grasp of mortality. And not in the order that you were told it would happen grandma. Grandpa mom dad. You maybe siblings your children. You don't really think oh it could jump. Actually grandma grandma could outlive baby. Tommy oh wow six year old bath instead now and they parents have to live with it. So that shock I was. I delved into like a meditation supernatural outer space intergalactic drama New dimension like movies like interstellar to star wars. I went to this explosion of the big bang theory end earth in. What does it all mean. Roll stacks and i was sober during the whole thing to meaning. I didn't do any alcohol prior to my sister's passing. Because i was hearing hard things with about what she's dealing with denying that you know spoons in her room and she was denying that happening. All these stories that can force. And so you don't know who to believe because she's still sort of looks like yourself but it's different and then your sobriety kept me sane. Got the phone call you. You got to see it firsthand. Which is like you said. The mtc percents. So i've been. I've been deduced to stand ing the body of human being In you know. When i was a kid they made us because we got caught under a strict made us like go to a body gets seconded. They pulled the liberality showed us one a bad liver would look like it was just kinda like eating popcorn those grady. So i didn't find the funny because it hurts so bad to have. It just happened so fast. And so unexpected. In any way that when you start to unravel this plot echinacea opioid crisis sackler family. Us government. how did they get these kids. Even start the stuff wearing her. When coming from you fall down the norcal rabbit hole which is drama. You know it's almost like an investigative piece and it was hard to transition into anything emotionally sexual or emotionally connected. Because i had to survive and in that survival space i definitely was like okay. This is a flight or flight. I'm gonna make this choice. And i just want to grief. Therapy started like that day three times a week and immediately stayed sober immediately Meditation will continue address. Was like i'm going to feel this. Actually feel this in my skin once. Exploding in psoriasis. I'm losing my.