Lupus, Junie, Hannah discussed on Don't Blame Me!
And then it's, it's, it's kinda like if somebody like, let's say somebody has chronic fatigue because they have lupus. And sometimes some days some months I I call my depressive stuff downswings or like alone. It's like, I'm just in just the world is dark today. Everything's in black and white, you know? So like if you had some, if you love somebody that had lupus and they're like, I'm so exhausted and you know, they have lupus and you know, sometimes they're lupus flares up. You wouldn't be like Junie coffees. One vitamin b. do you want to build you exercise? You'd be like, oh, okay, it's a lupus episode. Got it. You sleep all day. I'm gonna go have a good day. Yeah, big disclaimer. You and I are both talking from the perspective of people that have done the self-knowledge rose there. Seventeen. We're older, you know, for the situation your in listener little fucker. Maybe, you know, as hard as it is, you need to set the boundaries as you have them because that's the only way she's gonna learn. Yeah, you know. And it started because you might she might not be ready to understand her depression, but you have to set her anxiety. You have to set your boundaries so that she has something that she has to. You know, she has something she can work with not just always being there because then you're just enabling her to always have to rely on another person. There's also some guilt there that like for me of, I'm feeling really depressed in shitty like sometimes there are still worst. How are you ready? Stay home and the entire time you're staying home. I'm going to be looking you thinking that the reason why you're here is because of me, and then I'm gonna feel more upset and so that's something to eat as much as you think. You also might be helping her a, there's the enabling thing. And then there's also this, this Justice, feeling of being like a charity case of somebody being like, wow, I just like opened up how I'm feeling and as opposed to feeling rational normalized of being like, that's totally. I totally get it even though I don't. Maybe you don't personally relate to it of being like just as normal, like you're so good like you don't need to stress about this as treating it like this is this is this huge, massive thing. You're like, oh, wow, so I'm not normal. So this isn't like, what is happening here? I would say my advice and this is something that is so funny. The guilt thing too, because like every time I'm in a really like low place. I'm always like, honestly, it's best for me to just kinda socially isolate right now. Just sometimes sometimes it's like I just need to be hand on Hannah and because I just can't carry the weight of like. I don't know what I want for like, you know what I mean? Clearly, and like being like having a responsibility to somebody else and being I don't wanna really talk. I don't want to do any of this kind of stuff. I'm gonna feel even more guilty if I'm not being a good communicator because you are being generous with your time and your energy. And like I feel like an asshole because I don't like. The gesture, but like I'm not gonna appreciate it. Right. And it's like the chronic fatigue analogy where the lupus persons like, oh, this coffee. Thank you so much. Yeah, let's go to a movie now. All they wanted to sleep feel bad, but I think and a system that I've gotten really great at with my friends and my boyfriend..