Gabrielle Union, Tika Sumpter, Menopause discussed on Yes, Girl!
I mean things like that. I think are super important in the spectrum. I've gotTA say Tika my daughter and I love watching. I came back and started a now. The yes girl team. We all quote A. J. C. Petty. Yes we we we say. People are shopping there with a credit line. Okay got the MAC. I love that to. I'm like yes at least you even the role that you play as a mom. You know coming from the commune trying to figure it out and adjusting and I love the justice position of your sister. fantastic actress Christine. Anthony she has. She's fantastic. I love what you are doing there. so I love you have the level of a character that you portray the now you have this. We can see all these stains and tie. Thank you so much for your story. I was so touched by your story. Come into motherhood because like you said like you'd given it up you. Have you close the door you like? It's not happening for me. And then your doctor said yes what. You're pregnant. Which I thought I was entering early. Menopause that's what I thought they had prepared me for so I said Oh I know what's happening. I don't want to grow a beard right now. Home let's figure out minimize the hot flashes so I think it's also given me a sense of Of gratitude to right because An and made this even more important. I think the busier that we are the richer. Your lives are the more you feel like. You have to kind of make an specifically from so passionate about the fertility conversations. Because I found it I mean. Recently you know you hear Gabrielle Union. Talking a lot more about her story and their other folks have come forward but at the time guess I was four years ago. I had nothing so I was working at a tech company. I was surrounded by white women who were freezing their eggs doing elective surgeries and doing things that they had to do. As well right they were just so much more informed. I didn't have the vocabulary. I didn't have the resources. I didn't have the information in even working for a company of a facebook at the time. That was very well. Resourced and very supportive. When I got into a fertility clinic no other black women so let's just a lonely space. Why am I here? Why is my body broken? And there's a certain amount of like looking around in in an experience and seeing yourself reflected so you feel a little bit comforted right people who look like you're going through it with you. The only one right but I was but you are definitely and that was. That was really really tough. And I just didn't want anyone to feel the stigma about it if they were failing in it and I had so many people reach out to me who don't even know me that well who wanna connect around it because they just don't have someone to talk them to like you said you don't know the hormonal levels you don't know your options and you don't know the range of emotion. Joe have when I hit like one of my darcus points. I was on a train writing from New York to DC. My friend my best friend from high school best. Five kids I had fibroid surgery before I ever found out. I had ovarian reserve issues and so She had offered before she said if you if for some reason after your surgery you can't carry out what. Perry for you and I thought Oh offer of surrogacy was so like overwhelming to me. It was like you are my sister for life and I hope I don't have to take you up on that But clearly a uterus is strong and then so fast forward after I found out where I stood in terms of you know having egg low-quality an not counting the uterus issues. I'm on a train and excellent. Couldn't talk so she called me and was a cab. I'm on the train like it's going to break off text you and she text me and said Hey. I talked to my husband and I understand your issues not having eggs and we. I'm willing to give you ED's and I was like that was my reaction. But then I was like Mitch. And I have a kindle. My husband look like my face was like oh but will be her her kids. I mean that's what you for five but but no one talks to you about level. I want to play your best friend or all of US love. I'm so happy that you when you talk about it. It does speak to my heart as someone trying to conceive and you know we you and I talked about this briefly but when you talked about that moment where you said you accepted that you could maybe have to do it. Another way. Getting to that point for me was very recent in has been very difficult in that stigma that you're talking about like people say Oh were you know? How's it going? What's going great knowing that it isn't but also I had to personally get into that point with myself. What if I can't do it the way I always dream? What's the next game? Yeah what's the next street? The next dream when it comes motherhood and that's been the hardest part of my journey so far is getting to that personal acceptance. A what is helped so much when back to. What we've been saying is just seeing like you said Gabrielle. Union was experience. All of these women coming out and talking about being there to has just made. That's how you see the next week in in in real talk Charlie. Seeing black women talk about it. Leave the stigma of over the years that we are just baby making machine and we will where we're sexual allows says this actually no because I remember I didn't have too much of a problem. Conceiving but I remember I was thirty five and I went to the doctor's like Oh my God I can't even have children. And she looked at me she said. Have you tried to house like? That's real in total thirties. Like Oh God you're you're you know. Obviously it's higher risk or whatever but even like saying your higher risk and you'd better get going and all these things so of course you go in there like I'm thirty five and she's like honey. I see all your eggs and there they are today. Here's what you do and then sure enough. I went and did what she did. And then you know and that's really. I remember going into office crying. And I'm a myrtle and she was like. Yeah but but by the age of twenty five they had two kids and my big Mama had nine kids lose this side of this thing like having kids and it's like Oh God and now I guess guild of you're you're going to have one and I'm like okay. Are you going to pay for the rest right I do would by? I saw the phrase one and done up to say that I deal with the fact I think about I don't know what I was smoking because I thought when I would see. He knew what she was in preschool and it would be the sibling discount. I thought I met. She was sibling. Go free not realizing no. It's just like Oh yeah no. It's not it's Hey Darlie you have to completely pay for a whole other child. Yes they're paying to college to your money college tuition or eighteen for twenty two years way. My is that is about to be my did always financially right. God I have no idea I would think you get thirty percent off. No you guys have the best energy and we are so excited for this hijack. It just ain't Sitel everybody where they can go and find everything. So you can find the sugar at the sugar pod on Instagram You can find sugar berry at berries on instagram. And then you could buy me at Thika so I am no just Tika sumpter on instagram. And I am Tika sumpter on twitter. Somebody took my name do both happen? Ty wishart yeah tell people oh great. I'm at Tie Randolph. Everywhere Everywhere Ladies Gentlemen. If you aren't following these two women you should be. I am wild by all that they are doing we so much that we can see and even the things we don't congratulations on adding another thing to your plate and crushing it. Thank you for creating a safe space.