Instagram, Italy, Shing discussed on Taste Of Taylor
Be using energy towards something positive yet. I have stuff like about myself like a million things, then how do you just like check it and disassociate from it? That's a good word does this. I detach. I'm very good at detaching. Just I think because of my childhood I'm very good at makes Shing yet. I don't know. If that's honestly, I want shares. We my dad actually went through the same experiences. You went through when he was eighteen he apparent that took their lives, and he channeled totally. And he channeled that though he's so like he is such he went to Harvard. He's a doctor. He's like the harsh working person I've ever met my entire life. And I'm like so impressed by him and his work ethic. But he later on in life said I detach, and I channel it all into work. So it actually out of a negative comes at a huge positive. You know, Italy. That's that's I very much really with your dot very much really with him. I think I think that there's the story of two brothers. And so they grew up with a complete alcoholic father, like horrible father that beat them. And they grow up and one becomes this huge leap successful person. And I'm not just talking about money just successful in life other one becomes homeless and he's using drugs. And he you know alcoholic and they asked the two brothers. They said, you know, why are you the way you are? And the successful ones said my dad and the homeless one said my dad, and it's like it's life is like all about the perspective of how you look at it. You have to pick. How you're going to look at it. So am I the most confident person that like thinks I'm great. No. But I just don't want to waste any second of my life like thinking negative thoughts when I could be channeling it like I said towards something positive. So can you go way back or or even recently and think of a time we're like, you could have gone negative, and you identified it as negative feeling and how you got yourself out of it. 'cause I feel like so many people sitting right now, myself included, it's so inspiring listening to you in that positively and I feel like maybe it comes like, I don't know if it comes second nature to you. Or if you've just like, I don't know develop some sort of line of defense where it's quicker for you to get there. But like for me like hearing that like it is so aspirin. It's like me like saying like I'm going to get a Ferrari in a month not possible. You know what I mean? So like, how did you train yourself training is a good word. It's a practice practice. I think what I'd like to do is if I notice I'm doing something negative is I like to nip it in the bud. Okay. Like right away. An example is this. I noticed that for the first three years of my business. I was waking up and looking at Instagram and one day I woke up, and I'm like, what am I doing? Why am I waking up and looking at Instagram? Yeah. This is setting the foundation of my day. Right. Looking at other people and this person and they're fake versions of their lives. What am I doing? Why am I doing this to myself? So I decided I when I make a decision like that's the decision is because you know, Ed Miller was another person that we had on. And he was like if you can't make a promise to yourself, then you need to like really reevaluate loyalty in your life in general last year. Itself is the most important thing. So when I make a promise to myself, I really try to hold that promise like just for my integrity. And so that I remember the day. I decided I'm not gonna wake up and look at my phone. It's not serving me. This is not good for the day. And so I- every morning wake up. I have a routine that I do and it's the same routine. Every morning Arielle Saami do it today. She literally, I'm we're we're energy in a room. That's literally as big as this Cup. Inches, and I still had to do the routine and the re what the routine does is offsets me looking at Instagram. Okay. So what I do is. I see the negative I Mike. Okay. That's the negative like I shouldn't. I shouldn't be schooling on Instagram. It's don't make me feel good right identify it. And then I'm like, okay. What am I going to replace the negative with? So if you are having negative self talk, and I don't know if that's what it is. But whatever it is making you upset or feel feel bad about yourself. You need to identify what it is. And then make a system that's a routine that you do when that happens. So like for me like I the second I wake up I want to meditate for ten minutes. And I know that sounds like, ooh. But there's something about just sitting there before I wake up and just breathing. And just I think when I meditate I'm not like trying to like I like to think and just sit there for ten minutes. Okay. She likes that a timer. Sorry to be so ridiculous. I'll I'll give you every specific a head space. I wake up I put it on. And I like to sit up because if you lay down you'll go. For sure for Sheila row to sit up. And then when you this is so crazy, but. I had massive Joe surgery where they broke my entire. I saw that picture on your Instagram. Oh my God. And so I'm so weird about puffiness, so a even sitting up just gets your lymphatic system going. Okay. So I set up I listened to my head space. I drink water. So I'm like doing five things at once. But it's positive. Yes. Not negative. And so I- after ten minutes heads base goes off. And I opened the blinds immediately. Because that light just kick the having the light on your face something about it. That makes you feel good. Yep. I'll have to catch mine in the cab ride year. Oh, okay. Okay. Or you get assault rock lamp and your house. What it does the same thing to retinal kidding? Yes. We have one in our house amazing for depression and anxiety. Oh on on. I I have to tell you. If you feel any kind of anxiousness is I I don't go read about it. It's like there's something ions in it. You just like look at it. You just I have it on. I have a night light in my shower. I have it on in my house like twenty four seven. Oh. Okay. It's really good getting it's now. Yeah. Just get one. Like, even like, you're brushing your teeth. And it's on yet. That's light. I would consider it all that counts. And then I like to move do something that I'm moving. So I go I go in my pajamas and walked to get coffee. I don't give a fuck. I look like each synopsis bleak. I'm like put my huge sunglasses on and I walked to get coffee and why I'm walking to get coffee. I do look at my phone to turn on a podcast. And it's something that's uplifting, or educational like it can't be it can't be something. That's like gossipy, and you guys to be something. That's like going to set the tone of my positive and those things that is that's a half an hour in the morning that half an hour has completely taken me off looking at what everyone else is doing making me feel bad. You know, this girl over here looks like a Victoria secret, supermodel, while she's young pizza like I don't that's not like how I wanna start my day. It's just not do you. Limit your time spent Instagram, I don't screw. Anymore? I don't either I actually feel like somehow I'm selfish dick for that. But I'm just trying to keep my brain street. And if it pops up I'll like like all like it or if I go seek the personnel. That's what I have to do. I have to of people I seek out like friends, or, you know, like, like, new friends or whatever like starting in particular. She's like bitch. You don't like my shit. And I was like girl I'm not looking at anyone's. How does she even notice? She has eighty million comments and like. I don't know. I got she. She has her magnifying glass out. I love you never comment. And I'm like, I love you so much that if that is important I will make an effort. So I do and you'll see them probably like, my girlfriend's pictures like that is trackable because she's on Alabama, Jillian followers. I limb I legitimate not scrolling. Then I'm like, how can I not school? And then ask people to follow me. And so I'm just like I have like a mental disability. I can't enjoy Instagram. You what you can what you can do is. Okay. This is this is kind of an often tangent. But there is this thing that influencers do called comment pods. Have you heard of this? No, okay. So basically influencers they are on those what I'm talking about. They go into fifteen to twenty groups are fifteen or twenty people in DM. Okay. And when they post a photo, they send it to each other. And they all go and comment on each other's photos. So what it does is it ups the comments on everyone's photos now if you're. Or in like, ten groups. That's two hundred comments to an so these brands are seeing this. And they like it's looks good. Right. Right. Okay. So like two years ago, I was approached to be an common pot, and I'm like, okay. Like, what do I have to lose? Let's try this. Right. So I went and one and after two weeks I was exhausted. My meeting on it's like cute pretty love it remotely like like get it girl like girl. And so I was like I was like this is exhausting. And here's another fork in the road. I benefited that. This is not the vibe. And I said, I can take this energy. And I can put it into these common pods or I can put it into my community. And I was like I am going to to stop the comment pod. After two weeks put it in my community. And I'm going to follow my community and spend my time in my DM's talking to my the the people that have supported me and support them. Yes. And I switched serve it. I'll spend more. Time answering than I will scrolling and looking and liking and commenting. So my advice is when you feel like you're feeling negative off like an Instagram or whatever it is going, your DM's and talk to the people and contribute to like there. See what they're doing and go like their phone so appreciated. I mean, the truth is no one would have a platform without the community. No, let's talk about community because your community is huge. It's like it's rabbit in a good way. How when did you start to see that the community was I actually the way you talk about your community reminds me a lot of mine. It's like holy now. It's like, yes, you connected them. But now, they're friends because of your show because of your podcast because of your blog because of your everything and they're connecting. And there do they have a name are they like they have like a like a like an identifier? They name themselves. They're called skinny, and which is so funny because the blog the skinny confidential has nothing to do with being skinny question. What is a skinny confidential? It's like get the juice. It's like get the echo Guinea at the skinny gets and everyone likes nothing. Thing to do with being skinny it. Skipped the juice. That's the whole site is get the juice, and so they name themselves skinny he's on a minor little efforts, oh likely. Likely due to a little efforts have a secret Facebook group, they do I need to join God. It's a couple there Strecker nation. Okay. And then there's Taylor's toasters. So then, you know, the morning toes. Yes. So that we have a lot of overlaps. They love you. I'm in the toasters group there may you all the time love them. They're so nice. And then there's some other ones that are. The toasters. Oh, the toasters great. Are you in nations? Great now. But there I definitely I would say over the years I've developed some I guess you'd call them haters. But you gotta love your hater shoe gonna do haters say really they're I mean, they're invested. And once you've heard it all once they've set it all it's like, what more can you say exactly it's like, how did you deal with it being such positive person? How do you handle the haters you clap back Kelly Ripa style, you ignore you block? What do you do? I ju- shoe things. I either maybe it'd be three things. I don't give it energy. If it's something that I'm just like, this is ridiculous. I don't even I leave the comment. I recently had a situation where I was engaged. And I'm like this is going nowhere and the more. I give it the more. It's like going left, and I just got to know tap tap out. Or I'll do like a Chrissy Teagan tap back. Some clapback not taback clapback. Sometimes I love to like if it's like Susan's commenting something where it will use the name. Susan, not everyone can be as pretty as you. Susan. That. And then sometimes if it's constructive criticism. Yes, which sometimes it is. And we we need that. It was someone said this is like when I first started podcasting. You say like too much, and yeah, I do say like, and I can acknowledge that and say, you know, that's something I'll work on. I'll try. I'm not perfect. I'm going to say the word like one hundred times, it's just part of the part of the gig. We all have verbal cry. And guess what? If you get rid of like, you will trade it off for another. Verbal exactly how we're right. You're right. And you're the master at that. So thank you for saying are, welcome. No. I definitely I've struggled over the years. I would say anyways that was one for like it. I like it like, I think blesses my new one or as a live and breathe, but that would some good exhausting creative. I if it's constructive criticism than I respond in a constructive way. If it's something I need someone said the other day, please don't don't Snapchat and drive, and why am I stopped trying and driving? I totally totally fair. If it's constructive like, I'll take it. I was actually in scrim story. And driving from New York to Boston over Christmas that safe, and I was about to post it. And then my my sister, my new brother in law. My sister's husband was like don't do what you're gonna get so much shit. And I was looking what you're so. Right. And you have to be as an authority in the space, you have to be cognitive and appreciate that. Sometimes, you know, you're not going to always be right? But we're people we make mistakes. Just like all y'all. I mean, constantly making mistake like everything like fifty times a day. No one's perfect. Sometimes when people message me, they're like, you know, that gum has like zanex. I'm like trying to shoot on like, I don't know. So back to you and your adorable husband. So. Tangents on Alvin. I live for tangents f why they're my favorite part of the audio. So how did you guys like how did you meet? What is your? I think it's called a meet cute. It's like, you're you're how we met story. A we met when we were twelve shut the fuck up. Yes. We met Moore twelve he was literally four foot one. I was the same. I thought I am now five seven he thought I was a substitute teacher at huge hit. This thing. This is amazing. Amazing. But he was so cute Lee is so he he was so cute when he was little too. Sometimes he's like, you have a weird thing. I know he was like so my girlfriend. She has two pictures of me by her bed, and I'm a child. And I'm like, sometimes I get nervous.