Cancer, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, Sacramento discussed on The Wellness Mama Podcast
Day and a half I'd go to the ER and have a giant needle stuck in my back actively ribcage and it took them about a two weeks to figure out what was wrong but I was diagnosed the very rare aggressive form of cancer acute lymphoblastic leukemia and I was given a thirty percent chance of surviving. I you know I have to two small kids. They were seven. My daughter is seven at the time. My son was four and you know for any anyone but especially apparent you know the idea of leaving your family without the father was terrifying and I made the same decision that I made when I was told I would never walk again and I thought I will maintain unwavering faith that I will beat this cancer and live a long healthy life with my children until proven otherwise and I'm very grateful to say that after the most difficult year of my life where I was in the Er fighting for my life many times and almost dead and lost twenty five percent of my body weight at six feet. Taller was one hundred and twenty seven pounds but I'm about a year of being cancer free and in remission and now on a mission to elevate the consciousness of humanity maybe one person at a time and that that brings us to today that's incredible and I'm so curious because I feel like when presented with a really tough scenario in life hyphen. You've definitely had a couple of those people can go a couple of different ways and I often super people fall into that like why me mentality and I'm curious. Why do you think it it is that you didn't ask why me or take those answers that you were given from the doctors at face value. What do you think in you made you able to resist that then to choose an alternate path and I think I know pretty pretty close to exactly. Why and I and I can't take all the credit for it. It was really a mentor of mine when I was in when I was in my cut CO training on date too. I think my manager and Mentor Jesse top US what he called. The five minute rule and he said look sales is a microcosm Mike Rowe Qasem for life when you go out there. You're going to have goals and you're going to have dream ambitions. You'RE GONNA be working towards things and you're going to run into obstacles and challenges in adversity versity you're going to be working towards a goal and beyond track and then you're GonNa have your biggest order for the week. They're going to call and cancel and he said this is just it's just reality. There are a lot of things that happened that are out of your control and you can only control the things that you can control and he said so. The five minute rule is that whenever something happens that is unpleasant center painful or scarier difficult he he taught us to literally set our time run our phone for five minutes and five minutes to complain cry Vent Punch. Wall like whatever you know just like fill the pain feel the emotion and he said when the timer goes off you take a deep breath and you say three powerful words can't change it it and you remind yourself that I can't go back in time and change it so there's no value in in in continuing to feel upset about it. The only intelligent agent choice that I have really to make is to accept it fully and be at peace with it and then be proactive to move toward where I wanna go in my life or in my work get on the phone. Make more calls whatever it is in that in that setting and so I had when I first learned the end by the way this is one of those important lessons. I teach now even when I speak I mean it's so it's crazy to think twenty twenty years later. I'm teaching this to thousands and thousands of people in in live audiences and online but it's still this five minute role where when I first learned that like most people are like thought. Can I get like a five day Roy. It'd be pissed off for like five days like five minutes is not enough and sure enough the first few times. I did this little five minute rights at the time earn timer go off go. I'm still mad like still upset right and and then but here's the interesting thing that happened when we when we elevate our consciousness will become consciously justly aware of a different way of thinking or living a better way of thinking or living and we start we'd be aware of it and we stay present to it and we live in alignment with it. It changes everything for us and what happened is after a few days. Maybe a week of doing this where you know at first. I thought there's no way I can get over it and five minutes. I would set the timer for five minutes and I'd go son of God can't believe that lady cancel the appointment. I've been working on this for weeks. Gosh Gosh Darn it. Oh man and then I pick up my phone and look at the timer and I'd have you know four minutes and thirty two more seconds and I'd go. I'm over it like what why sit here in stew on something I can't change for another four and a half minutes when I could probably make three more calls and schedule another appointment to make up for that one and so the five minute rule became kind of the five second rule rides needed five seconds to go son of upset and fill it for a second but then I just moved on and so nope I applied that in every area of life not just my career not to sail so when I would be in traffic I remember when I literally can picture myself on this free in Sacramento when I had this this this first time there. I realized this applied to traffic innocence for anybody. You don't have to get cancer being a horrific car accident to apply the five minute rule and apply this idea of accepting the things you can't change but when I was in traffic one day I went. I was frustrated. I was running late and I didn't know I was going through my head all the phenomena. I'm going to lose this appointment or I'm GonNa lose his stuff things that we're all out of my control and we'd been I can't change the pace of the cars in front of me. I can't change that. I'm running late and I can't change the way the person reacts when I get there. That's not up to me but I can choose how I spend every moment in this car and to me. This is a metaphor for life. I like we can choose how we spend. Every moment of our lives regardless of what's going on around us. It doesn't matter what's going on around what's going on inside of us that determines our emotional wellbeing all being in quality of life and so traffic became a sense of joy for me. I went. Hey when I'm in traffic. I'm just going to be grateful grateful for everything I'd be grateful for. Is it time to slow down and thinking thank and you know and the day I was diagnosed with cancer because I had twenty years of practice seventeen years at that time of practicing this five minute rule the the day. I was diagnosed with cancer. I called my wife because she was out of town. When I found out and I was told I had a thirty percent chance of surviving and I called her and I said sweetheart what I'm going to tell. You is probably going to be the hardest thing ever told you but I want to preface it by saying I believe. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me. It'll probably probably be the most difficult thing that's ever happened to me and and for our family but I believe it's the best thing because this is going to give me the greatest opportunity to learn and to grow and become better than I've ever been before as a husband as a father as a leader as a human being and I also believe it's GonNa allow me to impact more people than I have even imagined and you know I will be honest. She did not take that same stance of being the best thing that ever happened that what day in fact I don't. I don't know if she's still quite there yet but yeah I mean that that it really stemmed from that simple realization that there's no value in feeling sorry for yourself or dwelling on something after the fact after thirty happen and sadly a Lotta people are suffering over their childhood. You know it's they're still suffering with things because when the when the you know the abuse or something that happened when we were kids and we think it's the abuse that's causing us pain to this day but it's not the abuse it's that we haven't made the decision to just accept it and and be at peace with it three so that for me was was the biggest difference that's amazing and you mention your parent as well as a mom of sex. I just thought about how amazing amazing intangible that is to use with our kids you know and they're upset or they're facing something given those five minutes and I've had like a neuroscientist and movement specialists on here before that I said you know kids are great because they actually do express their emotions with their body and they shake it out and they yell and they do all that but give them a time limit on him be like get it all out and then that empowers hours and you're like hey. I'm setting the timer. Do whatever you want right. Here's a pit like give them a punching bag. You know what I mean like right like make it fun and then they could literally be upset and then kind of laughing and you know and it will help open. I get through faster at that's a great a great connection of parenting. He I love that and you've also mentioned the word miracle a couple of times and I'm truly impressed by your ability to keep a really positive mindset in the face of some pretty drastic life. you know challenges but I'm curious how you would define the word miracle because I feel like that word. Can maybe have different meanings to a lot of different people. I'm glad you asked that because you're right. It's a really loaded word and I think that for a lot of people it has a bad rap and it has about route for one of the few reasons right I think the biggest one is miracles are thought of as random passive acts or events and if you're religious. Maybe you believe that you know God creates miracles right so you really all you can do is pray and then but again passively sit back and wait right or hope I personally a big believer are in in personal responsibility right with my car accident. I own ownership. I'm going to walk again with cancer. I'm going to beat cancer with the miracle morning. I'm going to change millions of lives like I'm not GonNa hope. That Oprah finds me. I'm not GonNa hope that this miracle drops in my lap. I I believe in the power of personal responsibility and I really believe that you know along those lines that to the degree that we take responsibility for everything in our lives determine the degree of of power that we have personal power to to change or affect things in our lives and so the way that I define miracle is really more of a practical actionable measurable way and and so I find miracle has any meaningful outcome that is beyond the realm of what you currently believe is probable for you know break that down in a meaningful outcome right so it's it's for me. It was beating cancer doesn't get much more when your life's on the line. There's no outcome more meaningful than than living right than than actually making making it through another car. Accident was walking again on.