Saris Allie, Toronto, Marijuana Mansion discussed on Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

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And then i get like you dollars off my book and i'm like okay. Okay okay anyways. Toronto fighting relationships opened up. I have a feeling. I'm about to hear some some notable stuff. Yeah so i mean like i did. I did well. I did kind of hook up with someone in toronto but I still being really controlling even from Miles and miles away And i just kind of new every time. I saw his name on my phone. Because i think at this point he'd always had the upper hand in the relationship. And now i think he was feeling threatened because people were kind. I i wasn't like a little mouse anymore. People were starting to notice me. So i think he felt threatened because i think he knew that he was probably close to losing me so then he just freaked out and got really really controlling and every time i was named come up on my phone like there isn't very much juicy Stuff from toronto. But every time i saw his name pop up on my phone. I'd be like oh. My god i don't i can't deal with you and then we would fight and my poor friend who i was staying which is kinda hard to like. Sit through it and after the fight like okay. What do you want to go get a drink. And then i just like bitch and bitch and veg. Saris allie about This relationship and so. When i when i came home he my ex didn't come into the airport and that's something he would have done it before he didn't come into the airport. He just parts as far away as he could. He was like this is where my car is. I drag on my luggage. And he like screamed at me the whole way home and then when we got home he was like okay. Either you stop seeing other people and we go back to the way things were before the the symphony or we're done and i was like we're done. You're treating me like a problem. It's done say. I'll get no this new you. I'm excited to see you finding yourself more. He said revert revert. You just said. I'm not a little mouse anymore. Said go back to being that mouse. Who i was who listen to eight. My kraft dinner and never questioned it. That's not the ass not the best strategy dude. No yeah he he and i. It's it's taken a lot of Kind of reckoning with myself but he just really couldn't care less about. I think he just wanted to be in a relationship with someone who could have intellectual conversations with but who didn't really go against anything he wanted to do. Yeah yeah and that's just not me anymore like it used to be. And it's taken me so much there'd be taken me a it to be able to stand on my own two feet Like i was just kind of scattered and flailing but yeah like it was really scary. Because like i said he made a lot of money so we had our place had like a dishwasher. It had electricity that was not questionable. Like my current department wanna mention by the way. I'm not i got my own place. Okay that's probably old. That's probably good. If you're if you're racing recent sobriety. I would have to imagine. Living in a marijuana mention would be tough. Yeah and You know it has been really lonely to tell you the truth because a lot of my friends are alcohol. Ix but they they don't feel bad about it yet like i would okay. I'm gonna tell you my embarrassing drunk tale. It occurred at the marijuana mansion. One of the musicians. I lived with weather trombone player. I was pretty. I was like i was pretty drunk is pretty high and i was like you know what a good idea to play the trombone. Kits out and just parade around the house. And so that's what i did and i don't remember this but there are stories and then at that point they just kinda like put me in a cab because i was still i actually at this point but Yeah that's my most embarrassing drunk tells the tale of the trombone titties. When you said there are stories. I let out of sigh of relief because i thought you were about to say there are pictures and i could imagine that could that would have been even worse. Yeah i don't think there are pictures but you know if there are that sucks that they delete it. yeah. I remember having a few of those. There's a few of those my friends. I have very few people left in my life. Who have ever even seen me drunk and a few of them. Just have these stories where i remember going on that. That felt charming or funnier. Interesting in the moment. And i look back and realize that everyone there was just either worried about me or maybe pitying me a little bit and and those revelations are not easy to swallow no no. They're not like yod there. I hit bottom so many times before. I stopped for good and i kind of oh stopping for good to my on my middle age. Not boyfriend But that's the only thing. I will ever thank him for but Yeah it's just you know at a certain point. I just couldn't do it anymore. And i feel so much better. I don't feel like i'm scattered flailing anymore but it took a long time to to get here but yeah i do have my own place. It's like i'm really sorry. You can hear my radiators. They're so loud. It's a really old buildings. Oh good because it sounds like a train. So that's really but Yeah it's like. I don't think i'm the first person who thought through pandemic and the building. It's like a tiny apartment. It's mind i love it but like our place is really nice. I had a lot more spending money. When i was living with my ex A lot more security. Yeah so it was really scary to take that job. But i don't regret it. And now i was. I was fortunate enough to be able to do a tour with a theater company and do like it was kind of a it was kind of sad but it was kind of Just like a one person piece about leaving him. I'm trying to make it into something that's sixty minutes. Long with only like fifteen part of it was like cabaret show able to toured around but there are a lot of women who came up to me who told me that i gave that confidence so i get out of a bad situation which is so humbling and feel so good Yeah yeah no. I was like we're dying. That i kind of. Yeah no. i'll tell you something else. So and i can almost promise this is like i mean it's it sounds. It's pretty clear that you think your current in socks compared to the old one and telling me about the radiators that sound like trains. And i feel like when you say you're not the first person lived through a pandemic here that indicates that you think there are also people suffering this place in nineteen eighteen. But i bet. I bet i just encourage you to also take a deep breath and enjoy it and smile when you come home and when those radiators are like blast and so loud they wake you up and they hope you remember this and laugh. 'cause i bet in ten years you're gonna look back and go. Living in. that apartment was one of the best areas of my life based on what you got out of and what you're headed towards right now that's the best. the best. The fresh aliens says the frustrating years as an artist before you take that leap into the more intimidating scene whether that's a new city or within your city so stress for confusing but you're also living such a fun life even though it's onboard word there's no security and i hope you enjoy it more than i enjoyed those times in my own experience because i would kill i would kill to be back in a bar drinking my ginger ale while my friends.

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