Has Life Knocked You Out?
So here's what we're going to talk about today. Has Life knocked you out? This was interesting. I was just doing some reading. I was online just looking at some different stuff in reading. Different things you guys know. I'm I'm super nerd. And I love to read 'em research and that's how I get a lot of topic ideas for you guys to like. You guys will make comments in the facebook group or something or your message me and ask me some questions or people that hire me as their coach will have conversation about certain things and it will just kind of piqued my interest in all jump online and start digging a little deeper into those topics. And that's how I I decide what topics to do on the show. So we've been talking a lot recently about just happiness in general and actually have a client who airs twentysomethings a young guy. Good Looking Kid. Good job goes to the gym. And he's really struggling kind of with happiness in general and he asked me like he said to me Angela. Where are all these people that I see in the world like are all these people really thriving or do they just look like they're thriving and they're really just surviving and I thought it was such a fascinating question because I think you know we talk about this a lot on this show where I think people we do have a tendency to Kinda shore best moments right with social media? Everybody is so much more out there than we used to be for sure. And it's too easy to kind of highlight all of our best moments and not show the lower moments in the struggles. You know we don't tend to talk about those things as much so I started digging around and one of the first things I came across was an article about the twenty nineteen world happiness report and it said negative feelings are rising around the world and the United States is particularly hard hit with an epidemic of addictions and man what a fascinating statement right epidemic of addictions had think. A lot of that too is there are a lot of different addictions that we don't even talk about that much right. There's this whole tech addiction. That's happening right now. Everybody is addicted to their phones and computers and Social Media and porn and sex addiction which also ties into tech because now everybody can have pornography right in their hand everywhere they go all day long and of course. Food addiction is huge. And I think we've always known that. In for many years we've talked about obesity and heart disease and diabetes and some of those issues that go with poor eating habits. But we don't necessarily talk about it a lot in the sense that it's a food addiction right disordered eating in those kinds of things so an epidemic of addictions in the United States. And I think that's really accurate. It's kind of sad but it is really accurate. So here's the question about. Are we actually thriving or just surviving? I think we have this tendency to look at other people and think that they're always doing better than we are. You know we look at other people and think they've got it figured out better than we do but do they really are they actually just surviving and on the inside their feeling equally as overwhelmed and as exhausted as you are in the other article. I found was on huff post and this is really going to be the crux of our episode today and this was written by Cathy. Capri no on Huffpost DOT COM. And she pulled her audience. Okay and she did. Let me see what it says. Here she put up the survey to her community and seven hundred. People had responded at the time that she wrote this. This was a couple years ago. Seven hundred people had responded so far. The key question was if you could say in one word what you want more of in life. What would that be? Sounds simple right of all? The things people responded. She took the ten most frequently mentioned things. And she wrote this article. And of course I will link to the full article This is just my take on certain ones that I think. Go Hand in hand with what we talk about on this podcast all the time and making changes in our lives and trying to live better lives in really trying to feel better because for us in this context of sobriety and recovery. I have to do a lot of work in these other areas and I have to feel good in these other areas. Because that's what will allow me to remain sober comfortably. I willing to the full article if you WanNa read the whole thing. It's really really good. It's not super long so of course I'll put that link in it's it's a great article but this piqued my interest. Because when I read it I think as addicted people you like to think that you are more broken than everyone else or you think. You're weak because you have addiction and what I really want you to see what this article is. Everyone addiction or not struggles with the same issues. The majority of people as human beings we want the same things and as a society we are desperately lacking lives that are happy and fulfilling whether we have addiction or not and I want you to really hear that. Everyone is struggling to be happy and feel happy. Everyone is questioning themselves in feeling like they don't have enough time and feeling guilty because they aren't being a good parent or they aren't being a partner to their partner. There are a ton of people who aren't doing jobs they love who WanNa make more money and a ton of people who have taken a beating by life and have super low self esteem. You don't have these struggles because you are an alcoholic and F. up beyond repair and I know that's what you think so. Stop It stop. You are human. You are not week. Life is hard so I picked a handful of the responses to this survey. We're GONNA talk about how we're missing the mark. How To better understand it and what to do to feel better in. Get closer to that life that you want and deserve. Let me read the intro again. Just to refresh you. Huffpost DOT COM by Kathy Capri. No if you could say in one word what you would want more of in life. What would that be? She goes on to say of all the things people indicated. They wanted more of following. Were the ten most frequently mentioned. Here's my take on what's missing in life and work today in why we can't get enough of these precious ingredients and then she includes a quote in each one that I will read as well and again I will link to the I willing to that full article So you can get there and read that also so the number one thing that people said they were missing the one thing number one response was happiness and the biggest challenge took a quote in all these quotes from actual respondents right. These are real. People quotes biggest challenge. Not Knowing what I want to do and she writes the number. One mentioned missing element was happiness. It has become so hard to achieve an even harder to maintain in my work with professional women. I've seen that happiness continually escapes them. Because I they don't really understand exactly what will make them happy. They just don't know themselves well at all secondly they search outside themselves for happiness in a job husband a family a title a paycheck a Fancy House as a result happiness is constantly out of their control and a perpetual moving target. That never stands still long enough for them to grasp. I'm not saying that these things don't bring happiness. Of course they can the key point. Is that if everything you are searching for remains outside of you you'll always be scrambling and chasing. I don't know about you but I to remember a lot of this same conversation in a lot of these podcast episodes like this is the stuff we talk about you guys in and remember. She's not talking to people with addiction. This is her community obviously. It sounds like she works with professional women. I don't know exactly what her community is I just found the article like I said on Huff Post but these are not people with addiction. But what she described is exactly what we do. As addicted people right. We look for things outside of ourselves to change how we feel on the