Setting Goals Instead of Resolutions With Dr. Andrea Goeglein
Andrea Andrea. Welcome back to live happy now. It is always a pleasure to have you on the show. Thank you and it was always a pleasure to be here because your messages I followed up and I really love what you put out on social media of the articles in the various podcasts. I really appreciate it. We'll thank you you know as we were looking at the Beginning of a New Year and we wanted to do something that talked about setting goals versus setting resolution. So of course you claim to mind again. So so I thought that we could start by having you explain to us a difference between setting a goal and setting resolution. You know for me. And there's a a lot of personal experience you know I once was a teenage girl and I remember those resolutions. That said I have a boyfriend. You know at the same time I was at teenagers. You know and as I have vowed to end in my education and in my life what I realized I was. I was a statistic. And that's statistic is the one that you know. Your listeners are going to be reading a lot this week how many days it takes before the resolution. I shouldn't fails and I wanted to know how to do that differently. and luckily my life's work. Help get me there. And so a resolution listen to me aligns more with just a declaration or an affirmation where is a goal is actually elite attached to something that you have in your mind that's already in process end or you want to put in process and you began to you begin to think through. What do I actually have to do? What actions what footsteps do I need to take to make make that thing a reality? The differences a resolution is kind of the spark and the goal has all the gas to get you moving. That's a great way to put it because we do as you mentioned. There's all the statistics about how long it takes for us to fail at resolutions. And this week it will be absolutely the message out in the media and then you have the early adopters who are like look. I'm just GONNA go ahead and fail like three days into it just to get that out of way so in terms of it like why is it so much more effective to set a goal they said a resolution is at your mindset or is it like what is it the mechanism that makes it so effective. Well the mechanism is that goal actually has like you know. There's there's there's a line and self help about the difference between a goal in a dream and you can have a dream of something that you want to do and a goal is actually when you take a wish and they call that a wishbone and you put it and and having something with backbone in it so it's actually the difference between and you know I mean the resolution you know it can be that initial inspiration but what has to happen is a goal has multiple parts and there's all sorts of formulas that all of us have used in our lives that have that has to have something certain has to be something specific it has to have time like it has has to have the resources that go with it. There are very specific things that end up making a goal goal and Nada Dream and not a wish and not a resolution excellent. You know it reminds ends me last year. We had Tara swore and she talked about her book. The source and one of the things she talked about was vision boards. She's a believer in it. But she said you can't just make a vision board and then wait for it to come true. You know. That's where we've Kinda got it wrong. You put the pictures up there. And then you're like okay. Bring me my handsome Knight Knight in Shining Armor in my house and I will tell you I am a visual person and for me getting to see the pitcher up something help so for me. I actually have a vision book. I've had the same book for fifteen years. Wow Diane Ed to it yes I add to it. I subtract. Because that's another part of the difference between a resolution and a goal there is an actual in addition to the process of setting up. You know so. What strengths do I have? What of the resources? What are the steps? I'm going to take the things that you would do to actually see something. Come to life there. Is that other part heart of being able to see it and then knowing that wait a minute is this really. I thought I wanted that because my friend had thought I wanted that bigger job because it it would pay more money but my goodness disruption in my life is so dramatic. I really don't want it and do I really WanNa live in that city like you get to update things right. Yeah and there is a critical part of where we are at this moment in time that I would like to kind of give a little hint. You really don't have to set goals this week. The Gulf of this week and actually many times for me has been the the month of January is actually getting your mind ready to want to do some things different in your life not saying saying this you know because the rest of the world says January one something happened. I actually have a number of times a year where January is actually the one that I do more globally and then I start putting berry specifics to it and then mid year I do a check and then September one and this is just a person who gone to two master's degree in a PhD. I went to way too much school wool honest to goodness September is actually my mental New Year. Oh how interesting Yes and I know that it came out of habit that that was always my stark point January. You know the first twenty years of your life January's just the thing after the holidays and you go back to school again and you're picking up. You're finishing up where you left off September. I just was always something very new and different. A lot of new was happening every September. So my cells just got used to it and I encourage your listeners listeners to do an inventory for themselves. There's a wonderful book out called when and I think it's a Daniel Pink so your circadian rhythms. When is the best time of the day it helps you discern as an individual? Where do you fall so that you get? The highest performance format will say. Take that globally over year. And when do you have the greatest impetus is it after the spring. And you've got new energy or some you know there are different times so my message is don't be held to the conformity of what the world is telling you. It's time to do this. It's time to do that. But invite yourself into the experience of observing your life dreaming bigger than when you have before and putting the actions to it. What will that take just doesn't mean it has to be done tomorrow right and that's good because you can kind of like when you're gonNA say paint a room you don't just go out and buy the paint and discount home start slapping paint on you know you think about it look different colors? You think about how it's going to be and you do a lot of preparation beforehand so that you really talking about that same thing of taking some time to be mindful and thoughtful about what it is you really want to accomplish a place for this year right. That's terrific so so as people are looking at okay. I WANNA create these goals. Should they do one big goal. Do they do different goals in different areas. What's most effective okay? So what's most effective is what has worked for you historically but not to be sarcastic. Ask that that. Let me tell you what I suggest and play with this. So would I would invite you to do is actually set the goal. ooh upsetting some time aside to go for a walk to be in nature to do things and just think about what went on. Or what's going on in my life that I actually would like to see different. Just allow yourself to float with a question in something. That isn't regimented writing things down and thinking about it and da Da. Ah but you're in movement or in a pleasant situation and you're allowing yourself to look back you don't have to condemn the things you just have to be not an honest observer and say what's going on in my life that I really would like to be different and then start with those things. If it was different different the second question is if it was different what would it look like and that begins to give you the option to clean up some blocks that you may not even know you may not be achieving some things in your life because some other things are going on that until they get cleaned up. You actually really can't move forward. There are realities to where we are at the moment. Some of them are structural. Some of them are mental. And when you acknowledge Oh wait a minute. I can't leave this place right now because I have this obligation to finish but I can do this. And you stop the rating yourself which is one of the most detrimental things to goal setting. Is that that you actually start out looking at a goal as though you are a failure and you're gonNA kick your own but and get you and now you're GonNa do it right.